Tobias turns away from me, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket before lighting one up.
“I wasn’t planning on driving.”
He doesn’t spare me a glance when his call is connected. “Hey, get a blue light at the bar.”
A pause.
“A ride.” Pause. “Cecelia.”
I faintly hear a voice on the other end. “They aren’t a taxi service. You take her.”
Sean.
“Get someone here, now.”
“All tied up right now, boss. Deal with it.”
Sobering, I walk over to where he stands. “Is that Sean?”
Silence on the other end of the line.
“I’ll figure it out,” Tobias snaps, ending the call and taking another drag.
“Since when do you smoke?”
“This?” he asks, before blowing out a plume of smoke. “This is just to keep my hands occupied to prevent myself from strangling you.”
“Har har,” I counter. “You never smoked when we were together.”
“You mean all of the five minutes we were together?”
“Don’t act like I don’t know you. It’s insulting.”
He draws on the cigarette and glares at me.
“So, you have the cops in your pocket now, huh? Well, thanks for getting my car impounded, asshole. And if this isn’t a game and you’re not playing, then why the shady move?”
“You have no fucking business speeding around smoking dope.”
“Last time I checked, my father’s urn is sitting in his mansion.”
“When are you going to fucking grow up? You need a reality check.”
“Oh, trust me, this trip down memory lane has been nothing short of sobering. But if I’m going to suffer through it, I’m going to numb as much as I can, because no one seems to want to help me out here, you’ve made sure of it!”
“That’s your cue to leave. But you seem to be missing those.”
“And just who in the hell do you think you are telling me where I can and cannot be? You might own half the businesses in this town, but you don’t own me. You think I’m childish? How childish is it to tell me I can’t take a turn on your playground? Especially with the price of admission tattooed on my back!”
We glower at each other for endless seconds before he draws on his cigarette and tosses it, grinding it out with the heel of his glossed shoe.
It’s the sound of a car door opening and closing that cuts our argument, drawing both our eyes to the source. All words fail me as a gorgeous, dark-haired woman approaches, her eyes on Tobias. She’s polished from head to heel, her hair dark spun silk, a curtain of it draped over her shoulders.
She’s stunning.
Stunning. And familiar.
“Alicia?”
Her eyes flit to mine. “Hello, Cecelia.”
“I almost didn’t recognize you.” Though her smile has some genuine warmth, her brown eyes hold some grudge as she weighs the situation.
“It’s been a long time,” she concedes. “You look well.”
My hair is plastered back with sweat, and I know I’m white as a sheet. There’s vomit on my heels. She’s being kind, cordial. The same sweet disposition of the girl I met all those years ago but…not at all a girl anymore. I’m still reeling from the change in her. She carries herself in a majestic way as she makes her way toward us, a far cry from the reluctant teenager I met when she reaches Tobias.
“Hey,” she greets him with a tone of familiarity.
His gaze softens as he addresses her. “Almost done here.”
My hurt lurches in my chest as Alicia moves toward him, placing her hand on his jaw before leaning in…to kiss him. It’s brief, but it’s enough. The sight of it knocking the breath from me like a sledgehammer. She pulls back, and Tobias looks down at her, his eyes glittering with affection.
“Take the car,” he says softly, and she nods.
“See you at home?”
Tobias nods in reply. “Sorry about dinner.”
“You’ll make it up to me,” she whispers, “you always do.”
My insides clang together as I watch their intimate exchange. Apart, they’re stunning. Together, they’re devastating. She grew up in the life, and she seems to have it together in a way I never will. She’s perfect for him. The type to keep her calm despite any circumstance, to keep her emotions in check, a strong silent support. A true queen.
And I’m willing to bet she’s never slept with his best friend or his brother.
I die a thousand times before she turns back to me, not at all intimidated by my presence, and that undoes me. I feel the stab soul deep. It’s like losing him all over again.
“It was good to see you, Cecelia.”
I can only nod, as white-hot jealousy eats me alive before she saunters away. She starts his Jag and makes her way out of the parking lot, and I stare after her for several ragged heartbeats before my eyes drift back to Tobias. My voice fails me for a handful of seconds before I finally speak.
“She’s beautiful.”
He nods, watching me closely.
“Good for you,” I rasp out. “I was supposed to get married in two months, but I broke it off before I came here.”
He slides his hands in his pockets, his expression unintelligible.
“I can see myself home. You should get back to her. I’ll figure it out.”
“Come on,” he says, moving toward me, and I shake my head, refusing him.
He pulls my keys from his pocket, gripping my elbow. I jerk my arm away and he groans out in frustration. “Just get in the fucking car, Cecelia.”
My chest screams for relief, but I know tears won’t ever be enough to alleviate the unbearable ache.
“Were you going to tell me about her?”
“No point.”
“Why? Because you knew it would hurt me? That’s what you do best.”
“This doesn’t have to get any uglier.”
“But you love seeing me in shreds. And you love to be the one to do it. So why hide her? You had to know how much it would hurt me.”
He lowers his gaze.
“Look at me, you bastard!”
Blazing eyes flick to mine. “It’s been six years, Cecelia. What did you expect?”
Not her. Anyone but her. Anyone but a woman capable of making him happy, of being the right woman at his side. Anyone but a woman who deserves him, anyone but a worthy woman. He scans the parking lot and clicks the fob to locate my rental. He wants no part of this conversation.
“She didn’t fall for or fuck your brothers,” I say, and his head snaps up. “She had a crush on Sean back when,” I continue, “but I guess that’s a minor offense compared to me.”
Agony. Pure agony. It’s nothing like I’ve ever felt, which surprises me because I thought I’d felt it all up until this point. I can only imagine it’s nothing compared to what he felt when he witnessed and heard my confessions for the two men closest to him after the fact.
I was a fool to think that my sexual exploits wouldn’t have consequences. They were fools to think so as well, but I seem to be the only one paying for them.
Either way, it’s a punishment that I. Can’t. Handle.