‘Everyone can dance,’ Kate retorted, standing up but still holding his hand, pulling him along with her. He let her lead him into the centre of the room, where the music was loudest and most guests were gathered.
She knew people were watching them, but she didn’t care. There was a strange confidence that came with knowing that she might never see these people again, that this might just be a one-time thing.
Just friends, Kate reminded herself once more, this time with an added sense of sadness.
‘There we go,’ Kate encouraged.
It was not so much dancing as shuffling to the rhythm of the music, she knew, but it was fun anyway. Kate hadn’t heard S Club 7 in years. She noticed Freddie looking around at his relatives, nodding small acknowledgements, offering waves and quiet smiles. She knew this was harder for him, that he was worrying too much about other people and what they were thinking.
‘Want to do something even more fun?’ Kate asked, but before he had a chance to reply, she leaned into him and planted a soft, chaste kiss on his mouth, before pulling away and smiling.
‘What was that for?’ Freddie asked in a low whisper. His face and body were still close to hers, so close that she didn’t dare look to check his expression. She had wanted to do it, for herself and for him, but now that it was done, she was scared that he’d be angry.
Because I like you, Kate thought. But instead she said: ‘Does it have to be for something?’
She’d made a mistake. He didn’t feel the same as her. She’d given him all the clues she knew how to give, and it wasn’t enough. The song ended and they went to sit back down.
The speeches were fun. There were jokes that Kate didn’t get, and then jokes that she did. Freddie’s father gave a speech about how wonderful it was living with Freddie’s mother, and then Freddie’s mother gave a speech about how terrible it was living with Freddie’s father. It was merry and sweet.
‘Here comes Mum,’ Freddie warned once the speeches were over.
‘Now, I just had to find time to stop by,’ Christine Weir came and sat right by Kate’s side, and immediately reached down to hold Kate’s hand in her own. The sudden familiarity was startling, the intensity of her attention even more so. ‘I had to make time for you both, because this is something special, isn’t it?’
Kate didn’t know if Freddie’s mum was talking about the party, or the fact that Kate existed, but she smiled anyway.
‘How are you finding things? Enjoying yourself?’
‘Yes, I am. I’m really pleased I could come,’ Kate replied.
‘I’m so happy. I’m so happy you’re here.’ She turned to Freddie: ‘Are you looking after her? Making sure that she knows who everyone is?’
‘Yes, Mum.’
‘And have you told Kate that I want her to come over to ours? Spend some real time with us?’
‘I hadn’t told her that, no.’
‘I’m sure we can arrange something,’ Kate interrupted nervously.
‘You know, I’ve never seen Freddie dance?’ she told Kate. ‘I’ve never seen him out there, on a dance floor, enjoying himself?’
‘I’ve danced before, Mum,’ Freddie groaned.
‘But I haven’t seen it. I haven’t seen you like that. You seemed . . . you seemed yourself. Does that make sense?’ She turned back to Kate: ‘I can tell from the way he stands when he’s next to you. It’s in his face. Does he tell you?’
‘Not enough,’ Kate replied lightly, hoping it was the right thing.
‘Anyway. I’ve got to go and do my mingling. We’re going to meet properly, though, spend some time together. I’d really like that,’ Christine said, still holding Kate’s hand tightly.
‘I’d like that too,’ Kate replied. She was telling the truth.
After she’d left, Kate looked at Freddie, who stared back at her with heavy eyes.
‘This is all really intense,’ he said apologetically.
‘I don’t mind,’ Kate replied. But Freddie looked like he did. ‘I guess we’re going to have to stage some big break-up event if we don’t want this to spin out of control.’
It was meant to be a joke, something stupid to break the tension, to stop Freddie from looking so worried. But he didn’t say anything. Kate wondered if that’s what he really wanted, if he regretted this whole endeavour and was thinking about staging a break-up too.
‘Maybe it’s time to go?’ Kate suggested, and Freddie nodded back in agreement.
‘I’ll go and say goodbye to my brother,’ he said.
‘I’ll get our coats,’ Kate added.
She watched Freddie walk away, before getting up and heading over to the coat rack near the door.
‘Oh Kate! Are you guys going?’ Stella came over and reached around her for a hug.
‘I’m afraid so,’ Kate replied.
‘I just wanted to grab you, if that’s OK?’
‘Sure . . .’
Stella led Kate away, just to the side, so that they could talk without being overheard.
‘It’s just . . . did Freddie tell you about the dinner party? The one at mine a few weeks ago?’
‘He mentioned it,’ Kate replied, careful.
‘I wanted to say sorry. I had no idea he was seeing someone, and I honestly can’t believe that I tried to fix him up. If I had known about you—’
‘It’s all right, really. We both found it funny.’
‘I just wonder about Freddie sometimes. Why didn’t he tell me? Any of us? That’s not to say I’m not pleased that he met you, I am pleased. I’m thrilled! But I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t . . . What on earth?’
The conversation was cut short by a commotion that was happening on the other side of the room, by the bar. Stella hurried over immediately to do damage control, but Kate hung back, uncertain about how involved she wanted to be in any family drama.
But the gossip reached her quickly. It was another man walking away who said it, loud and apparently amused: ‘Freddie just walloped David!’
Chapter 21
Freddie felt the thrill of pain radiating through his knuckles and wanted to swear, but there were people around him. All those cousins, all those family friends and their children, his parents. They stood in silence, waiting for the next thing to happen, wondering what Freddie was going to do next.
They all think I’m crazy, Freddie thought. He felt it like a background hum, that sense that everyone thought he was odd, that they were all expecting him to flip out at some point, weren’t they? He noticed how people averted their eyes, how they were scared to cross him, scared to say anything that might provoke more rage. It was a powerful thing, he realised, to have people fear you.
But the punch hadn’t come out of nowhere. He hadn’t planned it by any means, but at the same time, Freddie realised that he’d been building up to it for a long while. There was the constant feeling over the last couple of hours that David had been looking down on him, laughing at him. And even if that wasn’t real, even if it was a misplaced impression, there was the way he had talked to Kate, the way he’d looked at her. He didn’t know how to define it exactly, didn’t know how to respond to it either, but it had made him feel so uneasy, and protective too.