When we pull into my driveway, I don’t get out. We sit for a few more minutes in silence. I need to say something. Anything. I turn toward him and look down at the center console. My eyes glued to it.
“I’m not a nice person. I rarely use my manners. I never apologize, even if I was in the wrong. I cover up my scars with designer clothes and makeup. I hide my heart behind harsh words and negativity. I’m mean, Jasper. Really fucking mean. I cut people down to make myself feel better and I build myself up on their shattered hearts.” I look up and our eyes lock. I hold the gaze. “If you know what's good for you, stay away from me.” I rush out of the car quickly and speed walk into the house.
Slamming the door behind me, I slowly slide down the wall to the floor and bury my face in my hands, crying silently. The tears fall and the gasps come, but they don’t make a sound.
I retrieve my phone and look again at the picture that Meg sent, only to torture myself further. My heart sinks a little deeper. Petra and Levi. It doesn’t make any sense. She’s wrong for him on so many different levels. A tear drops onto the screen, splattering on her crayon covered face, when another text from Jasper pops up.
New Kid: Is that what you want? For me to stay away?
My fingers graze over the letters. I type yes... delete. No... delete. My heart’s at war with my brain. I say nothing. I’ve already humiliated myself enough tonight. I opened up to Jasper, he saw a side of me that no one has ever seen and brought out a part of me that I thought was dead. My heart exposed. Raw, bitter, and ugly. He will soon realize that a monster lives inside me, and he will want no part of it.
New Kid: Answer me.
I peel myself off from the floor with my phone gripped tightly in my hand. My stomach drops and I jump back when the doorbell rings. I look out the peephole and standing there, staring right back at me, is Jasper. His dark eyes so alluring, chocolate colored irises with tiny specks of black. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and against my better judgement, I open the door.
“You sure are persistent.” I wipe away a stray tear that lingered in my eye.
“You ain’t seen nothing yet.” He chuckles. “I just wanted to make sure you’re ok. I know it took a lot…”
I cut him off mid-sentence, “Don’t. Please. I don’t want to talk about that anymore. I should have never even opened up like that.”
“Why not? There is nothing wrong with what you said. Aside from the fact that I don’t believe it.”
“You think I was lying?”
“I think that you believe your own lies. You aren’t the horrible person you pretend to be.”
“Jasper, you...”
This time, he cuts me off, only not with his words, but with his mouth—pressed firmly against mine. I stand frozen, my arms draped at my sides. Until he places his hands on each side of my head and tangles his fingers in my hair. My lips part slowly when his tongue moves in, dancing circles around mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer, kicking the door shut behind us.
“They taste sweet,” He breathes into my mouth. “Sweet, delicious lies.”
My heart is hammering in my chest, and I know that he can feel it against his body, because I feel the same from him.
I’m enamored by his touch, and the sweet taste of red wine on his lips. My body tingling in places that haven’t had attention in months.
Jasper pulls away, his hands still holding me. “You never answered me. Is that what you want?”
Out of fear of this ending, I shake my head no. I feel his hand slowly sweep up the back of my shirt as his fingers graze gently over my skin, sending electrical impulses with every stroke.
The sound of Esme rustling around in the kitchen forces Jasper to pull back. “Shit, are your parents here?”
“That’s just our housekeeper. Come on.” I take hold of his hand and lead him up to my bedroom.
“What’s Blacksmith Oil?” he asks, on his way up the stairs, taking in one of Dad’s prized possessions.
“Just where my dad works, let’s go.” I give him a tug as he studies the plaque.
I close the door and lock my fingers together behind his head. With his lips pressed against my neck, he lifts me up with his hands under my ass as I straddle my legs around him. “If we’re going to do this then you need to know, I’m not looking for a relationship, Jasper.” I pull away and look him in the eyes to make sure that he hears me. I don’t want him thinking that, after this, I belong to him and that we are going to walk through the halls of Redwood as the happy new couple.
“Then you should know that I’m not planning on sleeping with you, Blakely.” He speaks so casually with his face nuzzled back into my neck.
“Good. Because I didn’t plan on sleeping with you anyways.” I really didn’t, although the thought had crossed my mind while I was tangled up in his arms and my legs were giving out. “Contrary to the rumors, I’m not like that.”
“I’ve never heard any rumors. I’m the new guy, remember. And even if I did, I’m a see for myself kind of guy. So far...” he lays me on my back on the bed and lifts my shirt, exposing my stomach before pressing his mouth to my skin, “I like what I see.”
He works his way up my body as his lips move to mine. Our tongues intertwine as I feel the rise and fall of my chest against his. His heady breaths are warm against my skin, assuring me that he wants me just as much as I want him.
I throw my head back, closing my eyes, as he runs his finger under the rim of my jeans. Igniting something inside me, a want—a need. I need him. I groan when his hand creeps up my shirt, cupping my breast in his hand. “Don’t stop.” I breathe into his mouth.
In slow motion, he slides his body up onto mine, his erection pressed firmly against me. “What do you want?” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, and I can see in his eyes, feel in his touch that he’s going to give me exactly what I want. “Tell me.”
“You. I want you.” I lift my head to kiss him, but he backs up.
“No. Tell me what you want.”
I close my eyes, so I can’t see his expression. I’m not used to this vulnerable state, but I’m not letting him get away. “Make me feel good.”
With one hand, he unbuttons my jeans and slides his hand down, rubbing against my cotton panties. “Like this?”
“Yes.” I beg, I plead. Give me more. I open my eyes, and he’s watching me intently. Waiting for my reaction, wanting me to beg.
He moves to the side of me, and I lift one leg up, as his hand moves underneath my panties. He runs his thumb over my clit. “Like this?”
I nod, stretching my arm down and rubbing the outside of his sweatpants. I put my hand against his and press it further into me, focusing on the outline of his fingers and curling them up so that they are at my entrance.
He pulls his hand out, and the thought crosses my mind that he isn’t interested. Until, he begins pulling my jeans down, followed by my panties. I give them a kick until I’m freed from them.
My whole body is burning for more. His teeth graze over my ear, and his warm breath shoots a tingling sensation through me. Two fingers slide in, in a slow motion. I buck my hips and begin riding his hand. “You’re so wet for me.” His voice is raw and full of the same desire.