“Since you don’t have a boyfriend,” Claudia added, “Davide and I volunteer to take your place.”
“No way I’m giving up my prize to you. You already have a honeymoon booked in Australia,” Francesco retorted.
“James and I can go,” Jenn said, stealing the words from me.
“I’m not giving my trip to any of you! I have a couple of guys I can go with.”
Sure. I knew all about his dates, one-night stands and half-boyfriends. Suddenly, I really wished I could find among those guys someone worthy of going with him. Only now that I felt so happy, holding James’ hand, could I see how lonely Francesco’s life was. “You can go with Paolo,” I said, thinking of the only half-decent guy he had recently gone out with.
“Yeah, why not,” he agreed. Luckily, that ended the conversation.
“Thanks,” he whispered to me seconds later.
I couldn’t help smiling at him. “Was Paolo the one who could burp the alphabet?” I asked him.
Fra rolled his eyes. “Don’t remind me.”
The beginning of the fireworks interrupted us. James’ fingers squeezed my hand and I turned to him to admire the amazed, beautiful expression he had while looking at the sky. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, holding him with his back against my chest. “I’ve just remembered the first time I held your hand,” I whispered into his ear.
“Can you promise me again that the sky won’t fall on us?”
“I promise,” I said, planting a kiss on the back of his head. My eyes moved over the others, all busy looking up at the sky. I was glad I came home for the summer. I had to thank Claudia and Davide for that. I could feel my heart beating in my throat, and I couldn’t even begin to describe the burning happiness I had inside. “James, will you come with me to the wedding?” I asked him quietly.
Please, say yes.
James turned to me, and his cheeks flushed red.
“Yes,” he said in a whisper.
My body moved on its own, and under a colored shower of lights brightening the dark sky, I was finally kissing him again.
ACT 3
Thus you may understand that love alone
is the true seed of every merit in you,
and of all acts for which you must atone.
Dante Alighieri, Purgatory
JAMES
“James, this is amazing!” Jenn screamed, jumping happily all over the room. She had had lunch at my place, and we were spending the afternoon together before going back to the beach. Dad and Mary were napping upstairs so it was just Mom and the two of us in the living room.
“Don’t make this out to be bigger than it really is,” I said with a small smile. “I’m happy he invited me, but I guess it’s because he had checked a plus one on the invitation to bring a date, right?” I exchanged a look with Mom, whose face said, “Yeah, I think so too.”
Jenn turned to me as if she had no idea what I was talking about. “James, there’s no such thing as a ‘plus one’ on invitations. You’re always invited with your family. Do you understand what that means?”
Suddenly, I felt completely lost. I glanced at Mom again, who now seemed to be thinking deeply. “Not really,” I murmured.
Jenn took my hands in hers and looked at me expectantly. “James, we don’t bring ‘dates’ to weddings. Especially if the wedding is of a family member. It’s kind of a big deal. It means he’s telling everybody you’re his boyfriend.”
“Holy shit.” My mouth fell open. If it was such an official occasion, why did Rob ask me to go? We were going to break up in less than two weeks. I found it hard to breathe. “I’ll tell him I won’t go,” I said quietly.
“No way, you have to come! James, I’ve hated the idea of going to this wedding for months, but if you’re there, we’re going to have fun for sure. Rob, Marco, Fra and I won’t leave you alone. Claudia and Davide are really happy you’ll come too. Come on, you can’t leave me, please, please, please?”
I found myself smiling at her and nodding. No, I didn’t want to leave Jenn alone. Knowing how everybody always compared her to Claudia, I was sure that being surrounded by relatives saying how beautiful and perfect her sister was must be nerve-wracking for her. If having me there could help, I had to go. After all, I had already given my word to Claudia that I’d attend, and I didn’t want to disappoint Rob, since he looked so happy when I said I’d go with him. Only, I couldn’t understand. Why did he want me there with him?
“I heard from Rosa that there will be something like two hundred people attending this wedding,” Mom said. “I’m sure nobody will notice you or question why you’re there.”
“Ugh.” Jenn averted her gaze.
“What?” I said.
“Ahem, they will kinda notice you… but don’t worry about that! Anyway, everyone will be too busy talking shit about me, because I’ll be damned if I don’t wear my freaking black dress to this wedding.”
I let out a short laugh. “You’re so cool, Jenn.” I had no idea how she was so brave. The bare thought of people looking at me and judging me was giving me a stomachache.
“By the way, James,” Mom said, “we should get you something to wear at the wedding. Why don’t we go shopping? What do you think, Jenn?”
“Yes, let’s go!” she exclaimed enthusiastically.
Jenn called her mom to tell her we’d go together by train to the closest town, and while she was away Mom patted my shoulder and asked, “Are you okay? If you feel this is putting too much stress on you, you don’t have to go.”
I released a deep breath. “It’s okay; I’ll think of it as a nice cultural experience.” A moment of silence followed. “I can’t believe I just said that. I sound like Dr. Westermann.” Mom chuckled and as I smiled at her, we burst into laughter. It felt incredibly nostalgic to laugh with her like that.
I never officially told my parents that I was dating Rob. They found out because, as Mary told me later, they saw us kissing from our living room window. I hadn’t planned to kiss Rob in front of the house. We had been out with Marco and the others and when he walked me back home, he told me that he wanted a goodnight kiss, and as it turned out, I was really bad at saying no to him. Then again, if the goodnight kiss turned into us making out for half an hour, it was probably my fault.
In a way, I was glad my parents knew about Rob and me; it was the first time I didn’t have to hide what I was doing or pretend to be someone else in front of them. They knew I was in love with him, and they saw us kissing. I wondered if they could tell that we were having sex too. We had gotten “only” to third base so far, but still, the day after the festival, I didn’t have the courage to look my parents in the eye, afraid they could read on my face what happened with Rob. Fortunately, they didn’t say anything, not even a lecture about safe sex. After the mess I had been involved in back home, I could understand that they were showing me a lot of trust, not asking me anything. It was probably thanks to the fact that they liked Rob.