“James is not like you,” I told Francesco, and I regretted it a second later. I didn’t mean to remind him about Eric, but I couldn’t help thinking that he kept overlapping his own experience with my relationship with James. Just because he had loved Eric to the point of no return, and he had never healed after their story ended, it didn’t mean James was in love with me and going to go through the same pain.
Fra’s expression grew darker, and he averted his gaze. “God, I hope not.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, staring at my empty cup of coffee.
“It’s okay. I hope you know what you’re doing, Rob.”
JAMES
“Come on, tell us the truth,” Mary sang with her best puppy eyes while pulling at my shirt. Jenn and I were lying on each of her sides on Mom and Dad’s bed. I had an arm around her neck and was letting her rest her head on my shoulder. I shot a quick glance at Jenn, hoping she would back me up, but that traitor kept cleaning her fingernails with the cap of a pen without paying any attention to me.
“Jenn, that’s disgusting,” I said, hoping to change the subject.
She finally looked back at me and gave me a smirk, “I’ll stop when you tell us everything. In graphic detail, please.”
“Yes, don’t forget the details, please,” Mary added with a giggle.
I felt my face flush red. “I’m not giving any detail to you,” I told Mary. “You’re too young.”
Jenn suddenly jumped up and sat on the bed with her legs crossed, now looking really excited. “Ah-ah, now we’re talking! So there is something worth hearing,” she said.
I let out a deep breath and said, “Okay. I’ll tell you.” Both of them looked at me as if they hung on my every word. “After Rob broke up with Luca, he told me he wants to… go out with me, sort of.” They nodded, their eyes focused on me. “And after that we… kissed.” My head felt so hot I thought it could explode.
Jenn and Mary kept looking at me, expectantly.
“And?” Jenn asked.
“And after that we’ve been… making out… like, a lot,” I said, averting my eyes. Silence followed.
“That’s it?” Mary said, sort of disappointed. I wanted to disappear.
“Wha–” I was speechless. “What were you expecting?”
“I’ll tell you what I was expecting,” Jenn said.
“Please don’t,” I replied.
She placed her fists on her hips and said, too loudly for my taste, “You’ve been wanting each other for weeks, why the hell aren’t you doing it already?!”
I gestured for her to keep quiet. “Jenn, for fuck’s sake, my parents are home! Mary, you cover your ears!”
“Too late,” Mary said. “And it’s not like I haven’t heard a lot worse about you back home.”
Great. I knew Mary knew and had hated me for it, but I never figured out to what extent. I hoped with all my soul she never saw the video.
“I see, I see,” Jenn stated, thinking deeply, “maybe Rob doesn’t feel like it because he just broke up with his ex. Let’s come up with a plan to seduce him!”
That was a little too much. “No, no, no, no, no,” I said, almost without thinking. I cleared my throat, got out of bed and headed for the door. “Jenn, come with me please,” I said, fighting my embarrassment. I opened the door for Jenn and then said, turning to my sister, “Mary, try to rest a little. Jenn and I will be in our bedroom if you need anything.”
“Ehh? Come on,” Mary complained as I closed the door behind my back. I heaved a sigh and as I opened my eyes I found Jenn looking at me with an apologetic expression.
“Sorry. Did I say too much in front of her?”
I just nodded. “This is so embarrassing for me, Jenn. I’m such a noob when it comes to relationships. I don’t even know how to seduce someone.”
Jenn extended her hand to me and I took it, squeezing it lightly. “Wanna go to your room to make that plan?”
“God, yes,” I whispered and we both chuckled.
◆◆◆
In the evening we all met up to go to the closest town by car, as there was a local fair to celebrate the town’s Patron Saint. Francesco was driving. Marco took the front seat next to him and Rob and I sat in the back. The three of them spoke Italian, and with some surprise, I realized I was able to understand the topic a little. I heard them talking about where to park the car (parcheggio) and where we were going to meet Claudia, her fiancé and Jenn (at the piazza). I listened to them quietly, when slowly I felt Rob’s hand sliding on my own, entwining his fingers with mine. I turned to him and saw him smiling at me. I tightened my fingers around his and squeezed. I couldn’t wait for the two of us to be alone to kiss him again.
We parked the car outside the city center and walked through the narrow streets of the village, toward the noises of the fair. On the main road, the corso, dozens of stands offered an exquisite selection of street food; panini, hamburgers, pizza and panzerotti, crepes, doughnuts and cotton candy. We got a panzerotto and a beer each and made a toast. We walked through the stands and I stopped every five steps to have a look at what people were selling; vintage vinyl records, toys, lucky charms and handmade accessories. I bought a leather bracelet for Mary with the name “Maria” engraved (they didn’t have the English version) and Rob and Marco got a matching idiotic neon top hat which changed color every 30 seconds. On the side of the road, a street artist was making huge soap bubbles, and a group of kids was running around after them. I looked at those bubbles in awe and I confessed to Rob that had I not been too embarrassed, I’d have loved to chase them too. I kept exploring the stands, chatting with Marco about how the new models of water guns were different from when we were kids – I was impressed that he was able to have that conversation with me in English – when suddenly a couple of small soap bubbles landed on my cheek. I turned around and saw Rob blowing more bubbles toward me.
“Are they still selling those things?” Francesco asked him, laughing. I blushed like a baby, well aware that he had bought them for me.
The path to the main square had been decorated with flower-shaped colored lights, and Rob and Fra joked that the municipality had probably been recycling Christmas decorations from the 1980s. At the main square, a stage had been set up where people were doing a talent show. All over the square, kids my age were walking around selling tickets for the local lottery; first prize was a romantic weekend for two people in Florence; second prize a smartphone; third prize a basket of salami and cheese. I wanted that romantic weekend with all my soul. We all got a ticket and finally met up with Claudia, Davide and Jenn.
We watched the talent show for a little while, but even though I rather liked the singers’ voices, the language prevented me from enjoying the sketches of stand-up comedy. Right when I started feeling out of place, Rob took my hand in his and led me to a quieter street, far from the chaos of the fair. On the other side of the road, a ledge separated the sidewalk from a breathtaking landscape; in the dark, the nearby mountains were illuminated by the lights of the other towns, forming a shimmering necklace hanging on their sides. The night air there was chilly, but I couldn’t feel cold even if I tried; blood was running too fast in my veins. I turned to Rob and removed his shiny hat, putting it on.