“You’re not?”
“No. I’ve told quite a few people here recently, so, of course, I’m sure the entire county knows by now.” She smiled and Carla responded like a wilted flower that had just been shined upon by the sun.
“I wouldn’t doubt it.” Carla took a step toward her, drawn to her like she very well was the sun and she needed her warmth and light to live, to exist. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like to sit down? Now that you’ve got that off your chest? Relax a little.”
She shook her head. “No—I. There’s one more thing.”
What else could there possibly be? Why does she still look like she’s going to bolt at any second?
“And I am scared to tell you this.”
Carla took another step, wanting to reach for her. “You don’t have to be afraid.”
“Please.” She held out a hand, stopping her. “Carla, I—” She glanced away. But then she looked back at her and stared directly into her eyes. “Carla, I love you. I’m in love with you. No, not just in love. I’m madly, deeply, crazy, in love with you. And I really came all this way to tell you that. I wanted to look into your eyes and say it. Because I need you to know it’s true, despite the way I acted when you told me the same. I love you. And I’m scared saying it, of telling you, because you have every right to turn me away, to say it’s too late, that I’ve hurt you too badly. I’m so scared you’re going to do that that I’m standing here shaking like a leaf and—”
Carla crossed to her, reached out and cupped her face and conquered her mouth with her own, kissing her long, and deep and slow, until Janice made a noise of surrender and threatened to collapse where she stood.
Carla kissed her for what felt like an eternity, drinking her in, every last delicious drop, having longed for the feel of her, for the taste of her. She kissed her until she, too, felt like she might weaken and fall with her to the floor.
“You don’t have to be afraid,” Carla breathed as she finally pulled her lips from hers. “I could never turn you away. I’ve done nothing but ache for you like a part of me had broken away and been left behind in North Carolina. I’ve never ached like that in my life.”
Janice clung to her robe, as if she needed to for strength.
“You’re not hurt? Upset?”
“Yes, I was torn to pieces, Janice. And I was upset with myself for falling for you. For giving my heart away again when I’d promised myself I wouldn’t. But I was never angry at you. And the more I thought about things and tried to convince myself to be angry and cynical and curse love all over again, I realized I couldn’t. Not this time, even though my heart had gone cold and dark in my chest. I just couldn’t do it and I couldn’t figure out why until I picked up my phone with the anticipation of hearing your voice and my heart suddenly jump-started back to life as if it had never stopped. Everything you evoke in me, every feeling, every thought, every desire, it all came rushing back and the familiarity of its return felt so good as it flooded into and filled all those dark, empty places inside. And when I opened that door and saw you standing there, I knew I’d never feel this way about anyone else, ever again. This is all you, Janice,” she said touching her own heart. “I love you beyond what I thought possible.”
“Yes,” Janice said. “I understand because my love for you goes beyond everything and anyone else. It goes beyond me. I know that now. I know that nothing I fear is worth losing you over. Nothing.” She kissed her neck, creating a trail down to the dip at her collarbone. Carla felt her breathe deeply as she paused there. “I have missed you so much,” she said. “I thought I’d never get to kiss you right here again, in my favorite spot, where I could rest my head and breathe in your scent for eternity.”
Carla shuddered as she placed more tiny kisses on her awakening skin, this time creating a trail that led into the satin edge of her robe, which she carefully pushed open farther to kiss along her shoulder. She was sparking her desire, one purposely delivered delicate kiss after another.
Carla hurried to speak.
“I almost cried when I saw your luggage and saw that you hadn’t packed light. My heart leapt, hoping it meant you had come with the intention of staying a while. Now, with what I just heard you say and with what you’re doing to me with your mouth, I’m about to either cry all over again or lose control and ravish you. So, please, tell me you’re here to stay for a while. That you’re going to stay a while.”
“I am.”
“With me?”
Janice touched her cheek. “If you’ll have me.”
Carla closed her eyes. “Oh, my God, yes.” She opened them and took her in as if seeing her for the very first time. She picked her up. “I’ll definitely have you.” She turned, ready to carry her away. “But you get to choose where. Because I don’t think I can wait until we reach the bedroom. To me the couch is looking pretty damn good. But I’ll go wherever you want. It’s your call.”
Janice grinned. “The bedroom.”
Carla groaned. “You’re evil.” She carried her down the hallway to the bedroom and released her by the bed. Janice stood before her, the shyness in her gone, grin still on her face.
“My bed isn’t near as romantic as yours,” Carla said.
“As long as it has you in it, it is.” She reached up, touched her face again. “But the bed isn’t what I had in mind.”
“No?”
She pushed on her shoulders. “No. Because I’m feeling a little like you. Like I can’t wait. Like I don’t want to wait. Like I don’t want to go slow.” She backed her to the wall. “I want to touch you now. Feel your body now.” She tugged on her belt and forced open her robe. She grazed her hand up her thigh. “You smelling so good, all wet from your bath, that robe clinging to you. I may have come here to apologize and to tell you I love you, but I was seriously tempted to throw all that to the wayside and have you first. I’m surprised I didn’t jump you at the door, scared or not. That’s how badly I want you.”
She leaned in, kissed her neck again, and teased her between her legs with her fingertips.
“Because taking you right then and there was what I really wanted to do. And I think now I’m going to be all about doing what I want. Especially when it comes to you.”
Carla saw the flash of hunger in her eyes, heard how her words were dripping with determined desire.
“I’m so fucking turned on I’m speechless. Motionless.” She swallowed hard. “I’m helplessly yours, Janice.”
“Good. Because I’m about to make another one of my dreams come true.”
She slid her hand into her aching flesh and just as Carla cried out, she took her mouth with hers and devoured her audible pleasure, as if eliciting it with her fingers weren’t enough. She had to taste it as Carla expelled it.
And she kept on, giving and then consuming, with seemingly no intention of stopping. Carla couldn’t resist, couldn’t plead for sweet mercy, not even when she began to quiver, and her legs began to buckle, and she was sure she was going to slide down the wall. Janice didn’t let up, and Carla, whether she feared falling or not, had no choice but to completely relent, body and soul and give herself to the woman she loved.