But instead he says, “It was a punishment.”
“For what? Who did it?”
He looks away from me and out the window. A lock of his hair hangs over his forehead like a dark crescent moon. “You sure you want this story, Hearthtender? It’ll break your bright golden heart.”
I prop my chin in the heel of my hand. I’m ready for this story. So damn ready. “Yes,” I say, almost like a challenge.
He turns back to me. “It was Nereus that doled out the punishment. For not seeing what I should have.
“I was charged with caring for my mother. She’d been ill for some time. It’s hard for a mortal to birth descendants and she birthed seven. Nereus tasked me with watching over her and I didn’t.” There’s a pained look on his face as he admits, “I was in the mortal realm instead. Getting drunk on mortal wine.”
I sense where this story is going. “What happened?”
“She threw herself off of a cliff on Mount Ida.”
“Oh gods.” My chest tightens at the thought and my heart aches at the guilt he must have felt, and still harbors to this day.
I hadn’t expected to feel sorry for Haven and I don’t know what to do with it.
“Nereus can create a window anywhere with the snap of his fingers,” Haven goes on. “But not just anyone can peer into the underworld. He forced me to look at our mother forever wandering, tormented and haunted. And—” he points at his white eye “—I looked too long.”
“That’s awful,” I say, but there are literally no accurate words for just how awful it must have been.
“It’s the least I deserved.”
“That’s not true.”
He turns sideways on the bench and leans into the wall. “That’s kind of you, Hearthtender. But really, the punishment could have been worse for what I’d done.”
I can tell there’s no persuading him otherwise, so I drop it.
But...gods...his brother is even more cruel than I first thought. The lengths of his cruelty makes me sick to my stomach.
“What about you?” Haven asks. The lantern light skims the sharp rise of his cheekbones and highlights the wetness of his lips. “What secrets do you possess?”
I shrug. “I don’t really have any. I’ve lived a very simple life.”
“That can’t be true. No one is simple. And no one is all good.”
There’s a challenge in his gaze.
Suddenly I want to please him with something wicked.
“All right. Fine.” I sit up straighter. I do have a secret. It’s not as heavy as Haven’s. And technically no one got hurt...
“Do you remember when that fire started at the dress shop behind Hestia’s House years and years ago?”
Haven raises his eyebrows at me and says, “Yes,” in a tone of voice that’s both leading and incredulous. Like he knows where this is headed, but is shocked to realize its destination.
“I was trying to light off fireworks in celebration of Clea’s birthday and one got away from me and...well…”
“You burned down the dress shop?”
I wince. “Maybe?”
He laughs. “Anastasha Hearthtender burned down the dress shop!”
“Shhhhh! You’re the only one I’ve ever told!”
He’s grinning at me now like he’s seeing me in a whole new context.
“And here I thought I was just coming to the kitchen because I couldn’t sleep.” He tilts his head, appraising me. “The Fates must have roused me from bed. And what a boon they’ve given me.”
“Stop it,” I say, but I’m laughing too.
In the distance, for the briefest of moments, the sun shines around the mountainside as it rises. For one blinding minute, Haven and I are bathed in golden light.
I’m full of a feeling I’ve never had before.
One I can’t name.
Whatever this is right now, I don’t want it to end.
But just then, the House cook shuffles into the kitchen and calls out, “Hello?”
Haven blinks.
I lurch upright and snatch up my bowl.
Are we even supposed to be here at this hour?
Haven grabs his dish and disappears into the kitchen. “Morning, Rhea,” he says.
I can hear the smile on Rhea’s face when she says, “Morning, Mr. Knightfall. What mischief are you up to?”
I enter the kitchen. Rhea sees me and gives us a sheepish smile. “Well, all right then. No explanation needed.”
“No,” I say. “It wasn’t—”
“I made her a snack is all,” Haven says and sets his bowl in the trough sink. “It was innocent enough, was it not, Ana?”
I like it when he calls me by name.
I’m suddenly liking too many things about him.
“Yes,” I say with a nod. “Extremely innocent.”
“Uh huh,” Rhea says as she ties her apron around her slender midsection. She’s wearing a sleeveless black shirt. Both her arms are covered in colorful tattoos from wrist to shoulder. When Max introduced us on my first day here, he called her Hades’s favorite cook and instead of glowing in the compliment, Rhea just rolled her eyes like it was annoying to have this title. I liked her immediately.
“Now get out of my kitchen,” she says to us and jerks her thumb toward the door. “I have work to do.”
In the hall, Haven says, “I’ll walk you to your room.”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”
“I know I don’t.” But he doesn’t leave my side.
When my insides turn fuzzy with warmth, I remind myself that this is all part of the game. If Haven wants to be nice to me when no one is looking, I’ll go on letting him.
When we reach my door, I lean against it trying to act as casually as a cat. Instead I must look as awkward as a goat. “So...um...thank you. I guess I’ll just—”
Haven saves me from my babbling and says, “You keep surprising me, Hearthtender.”
I lick my lips. “In what way?”
“Almost every way.”
I’m not sure how to take that. Should I be flattered? Offended?
He leans into the door frame angling his body toward mine. There’s barely any light in my hallway at this ungodly hour—only the flickering of the three iron sconces on the wall. It makes the moment feel intimate and safe.
It gives me the impression that whatever happens here and now doesn’t count so I’m free to do whatever I want.
The thought is liberating.
“Do you want to win the trial?” I ask Haven suddenly feeling bold. “Or do you want to win because it’s what’s expected?”
He pulls back surprised. “Why?”
Because I heard the conversation between you and your brother.
I shrug. “I don’t know. Just curious.”
He thinks for a minute. “Yes, I want to win.” He shifts and the light hits his mouth. “What about you, orphan? Do you want to win?”
Because Haven has been truthful with me (I think), I decide I can be too. “What I want is to figure out who I am.”
Somehow, I find myself standing closer to him like my feet have moved of their own accord. My nose is filled with his smell. That smoky spiciness that warms my belly and makes my heart beat fast in my chest.