Wow. Conflict sucked. Just being around it made my pulse manic.
Back inside, Joe was standing behind the bar, staring at the ground. Not happy.
“Hey,” I said, standing on a stool’s rung, rising high enough to lean part of the way across the bar.
“Hey.” He took my offered hand, letting me draw him in nice and close. Then I kissed him. It wasn’t a polite peck on the cheek. Hell no. I pressed my lips against his and gave him the kind of kiss best reserved for lovers in private.
Behind us, someone wolf whistled. Another person clapped.
When I finally pulled away, his eyes had calmed, and the beginnings of a smile curved his mouth. Much better.
“Thanks,” he said.
“Anytime.”
* * *
“Your brother is quickly working his way up the ranks toward being an all-time legendary douchebag.” Nell slung a handbag over her shoulder, lips tight and eyes as fiery as her hair. “He was supposed to come pick me up at closing. Would you mind giving me a lift back to your place?”
“Not a problem.” Joe forced a smile.
“He’s probably off somewhere masturbating over his new car.”
Joe grunted.
I said nothing. It was a disturbing visual, and possibly even true.
It was late, the streets empty. Above us, the stars were spread out across the sky in all their glory. Such a beautiful cold pristine night. Even the wind had calmed down some.
“Sorry, there’s probably some crap on the backseat,” said Joe, unlocking the truck.
“No worries. I’ll deal with it,” I volunteered. Fair was fair, the pregnant lady could have the comfy seat up front.
Indeed, there was a variety of paperwork, a set of pliers and some other tools, an empty soda can, a denim jacket, and a baseball cap. I shoved it all over to one side and climbed in while Nell got settled in the passenger seat.
My jaw cracked wide on a yawn at the same time as Joe’s. He turned and gave me a wink. I couldn’t help but grin back, my partner in tiredness. All of the sexing activities had been eating into our sleep time. Not that I minded one little bit. I’d take shadows under my eyes and a wee bit of morning grumpiness. After all, that’s why God invented concealer and caffeine.
The clock had started counting down the time I had left in Coeur d’Alene. Decisions would eventually have to be made about our situation. We could date from afar, take turns visiting. I don’t know. While it seemed a likely and even positive option, it filled my heart with dread. Even in this age of technology, long-distance relationships were hard. Unlikely to succeed.
The engine rumbled to life, wonderful hot air rushing out of the vents. As usual at this time of night, most of the houses lay quiet in the dark. We drove under the streetlights as some old Springsteen tune played on the radio. I couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel, to have naked time with Joe. To get as close to him as physically possible and forget all about how I’d have to leave him soon.
We’d only gone a couple of blocks when Joe slowed to a roll for a stop sign. After a brief pause, we were off again. From out of nowhere, an SUV smashed into the side of Joe’s truck, wrenching us headlong sideways through the intersection. There’d been no headlights to warn us. Nothing. Metal screamed, my head bouncing off the hard glass of the window. Everything went black.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Message sent ten days ago:
ME: Hi Eric, I haven’t heard from you for a couple of days. So I’m assuming you’re crazy busy with the bar and your family and friends. I hope everything is going okay. Talk to you soon. Best, A xx
Message sent one week ago:
ME: Eric, I’m worried about you. Probably silly of me, but would you mind just dropping me a line so I know you’re okay? It’s just been a while. Hey, isn’t your birthday next week? Thanks.
Hospitals still made me want to puke, that hadn’t changed. Endless white corridors and the scent of bleach and disinfectant. Nurses and doctors rushing around, so many voices. Somewhere a child was wailing.
I sat in the hospital waiting room next to Rosie and Boyd. Eric and his parents sat opposite. Everyone looked worn and pale, apart from those with red eyes. Despite the cast on his left arm, Joe insisted on pacing. The fracture was a couple of inches up from the wrist. The doctor said he was lucky that the damage to his arm wasn’t much worse. I’d had my right eyebrow glued back together. Otherwise there were some bruises, a few aches and pains, but nothing major. The doctor said I was also lucky. The idiot in the other car who’d been driving with no headlights on had barely had a scratch on him. Of course, he hadn’t been rammed in the side by a massive bull bar.
Nell hadn’t been so lucky.
“She wants to see you and Alex,” Lydia told Joe, her face splotchy from crying. Vaughan stood beside her, their hands wrapped tight together.
Joe stopped pacing. “Right.”
I stood slowly, my head still woozy and full of pain. They wanted me to stay overnight, just in case. Mild concussion and so on. Hard to see how me having a panic attack would help anything, though. And if they’d made me stay any longer in a hospital bed, with the whole world feeling wonky and memories of Val’s suicide attempt filling my head, it would have happened. So I’d discharged myself against their advice. Now, much like everyone else in the waiting room, I was barely holding my shit together.
“Right,” Joe said again before breaking into motion, striding toward Nell’s room.
I followed.
She lay propped up by a mountain of pillows. Aside from the bruising on the side of her face and her arm, her skin was paler than the dove-white sheets. Even her red hair, spread out across the pillow, seemed subdued. Machines beeped and little lights flashed, monitoring heart rates and saline drips and fuck knows what else. It was obvious, the pain she was enduring. My heart ached. Nothing about this was fair or okay.
I knew shit happened to good people, but at the moment, seeing Nell like that cracked my heart into tiny pieces.
“Hey,” said Nell, pale face set. She got right to the heart of the matter. “It wasn’t your fault, Joe.”
Blond hair hanging around his face, he shook his head and said nothing. The slump of his shoulders, his whole body. More than his arm had been broken tonight. It hurt to see him so wrecked.
Oh God. This was way worse than I’d thought.
“Even if Eric had come and picked me up, that car still would have run the stop sign,” said Nell. “I could still be in this bed.”
“I shouldn’t have been driving.” Joe gripped the back of his neck hard. “Knew I was tired. Didn’t even see the car coming at us. What the fuck was I thinking?”
“It’s not your fault.” I reached for his elbow, gave his shirt a tug. There was blood on it. From me or Nell, I didn’t know. “Don’t put that on yourself, Joe. Please.”
He didn’t even look at me.
“Listen to her,” said Nell.
Suddenly, we heard someone shouting down the hall. Then someone was stomping down the corridor, almost running. “Where is she? Where’s Nell?”
Pat strode into the room. Black hair, black clothes, face furious. I flinched, taking a step back to stand by the end of the bed. Behind him, Eric hovered, waiting. On the bed, however, Nell’s face crumbled, all bravery gone.