“How is Nell?” I asked.
At this, Lydia’s smile strengthened. “She’s at Pat’s place, she’ll be off for a couple of weeks at least. It looks like she and Pat are back together. Losing the baby is horrible, but it’s nice that something good has come out of this.”
“Yeah.”
“Does that sound awful? It’s hard to know what to say at times like this.” She worried at her short black apron, turning to glance at Vaughan busily setting up behind the bar. “And you and Joe were banged up pretty badly too.”
“No, it doesn’t sound awful. And I’m on the mend. Val has concealer and knows how to use it, so…”
“Good. That’s good.” She sighed. “Eric took off. No one knows where to.”
“Crap.” No wonder Joe was stressed out and taking on everything himself. I looked around the room, as if I were seeing it for the last time. The dark brickwork, the mix of industrial and old style blending so beautifully. The man had made the place perfect and yet avoided any of the credit. I took a deep breath. “Is Joe here?”
Hesitation hit her, her eyes straying upward. “Um…”
“Could I get a coffee?” Val smiled, smoothly stepping in to distract her, and earning herself another nomination for best friend of the year. “And Alex tells me you have the best brownies in town. You gotta hit me with one of those.”
Lydia laughed, letting herself be swept toward the counter.
Meanwhile, I headed through the kitchen toward the back of the building. The same route Joe and I had taken the infamous night of the red candles, heart-shaped pizza, and horrible music. Boyd and the kitchen kid were busy prepping for lunch. Neither paid me any attention. Out the back door and up the stairs I went. The pounding of a hammer echoed through the upstairs hallway. When it paused, exuberant swearing took its place.
Joe stood in the last room, trying to beat a piece of pine into submission. Unfortunately, while his good hand had the hammer under control, his broken hand obviously made holding the wood in place impossible.
I slipped in beside him, holding the beam steady. Neither of us said anything, but the tension radiating from him almost rattled my teeth. A moment later, the thudding of the hammer started up once again, the wood vibrating beneath my fingers.
“What are you doing here?” he growled, tone low and fierce.
“Helping.”
Out of the corner of my eye, his chest rose and fell beneath an old Violent Femmes T-shirt. “I told you to go home.”
“I remember.”
“And?”
“If you want to end it with me, that’s your choice. I can’t stop you. But that doesn’t change the fact that we’re still friends.” I dared a look at his face. His eyes were distinctly unamused. Sucked to be him. “And a friend would stay and help, Joe.”
He shoved the hammer back into a loop on his tool belt and stared down at me, hands on his hips. “I don’t need help.”
“Bullshit. What are we doing next?”
“I’m serious.”
“Me too.” I crossed my arms. “What next?”
With another growl, he shoved his good hand through his hair, pushing it back off his face. My, but the man was agitated. Way cranky, not so cute.
“Would you like me to tie back your hair for you?” I asked. “Put it in a ponytail?”
Teeth gritted, he leaned back against a wall. “Why are you doing this? We’ve got no future. Never did.”
“Okay.”
“I don’t want you here.”
“Duly noted.”
He turned and kicked the wall, leaving an almighty hole. The man was going all-out toddler tantrum. “Fuck! Just go, why don’t you?”
“No.” And yes, his continued rejection stung like a bitch, but this wasn’t about me or my pain. “Rant all you like, I’m not doing that, Joe. I’m not leaving you to deal with this alone. Everyone here is hurt and grieving, they’re either busy or they’re gone. I don’t see anyone having your back, and to me that is unacceptable.”
Breath coming out hard and fast, he hung his head.
“I’m staying, deal with it.” I dusted off my hands. “I’ll go grab some more drywall so we can patch that hole.”
He didn’t say anything, but then, I didn’t need him to. He’d stopped arguing and that was enough.
* * *
Due to his truck being smashed, Joe had Pat’s smaller version of the same on loan. Guess Pat had his bike or Nell’s hatchback if he needed to get the two of them around. Only problem was, Pat’s truck wasn’t an automatic.
“You’re not meant to be using your hand,” I said, holding my palm out, waiting for the keys, after we’d finished work for the day. “I’ll drive you.”
His forehead furrowed. “I’m fine with it.”
“If you don’t rest it, the cast stays on longer,” I said. “You heard the doctor. Given you’re already ignoring him to a large extent, I think every other thing we can do to cut down on usage needs to count.”
The more time I’d spent with him today, the more I realized what an utter bitch it was to have five digits out of action. Especially with him being an especially handy man and all. But also, Joe Collins was a big baby when it came to being sick and/or damaged. He simply did not deal well with limitations.
More growling and grumbling. “Fuck’s sake, Alex. You going to spoon-feed me and wash my balls for me too?”
“If you ask nicely.” I smiled. He didn’t. At least I found me funny.
“Christ.” For not the first time, he looked to heaven for help. Shit out of luck there.
Across the horizon the sun was setting, the first star twinkling down over the mountains. Despite the cranky man, it was peaceful here. I don’t know that I’d actually had a lot of peace in my life. Plenty of drama and neurosis, but not much peace. Coeur d’Alene had a lot going for it. The nightlife didn’t compare to Seattle’s, but still … the slower pace and the people made up for that. The beauty of the place. I loved this time of day, always had. I also loved the fact that I’d helped lighten Joe’s load a little, which made all of my various aches and pains worthwhile. Whether he liked it or not, retreating into himself, dwelling on the accident all on his lonesome, was not for the best.
An icy wind ruffled my hair, teasing strands out of my ponytail. God only knew what I looked like. Dusty, dirty, and all the rest.
“Look, you were right about me working on the apartments,” he said in much the tone of one making a great and valiant sacrifice. Such reasonableness in the face of my overwhelming lunacy, bless him. “I did get more done with you there today. And I’m sorry for acting like such an asshole. I just think it’s time we stop fooling ourselves, and it’s better that we finish this thing off sooner rather than later.”
His words cut me to the core, but it’s not like he was saying anything I hadn’t thought a thousand times before.
“I get that,” I said in my best Little Miss Fucking Sunshine voice. “But I’m here, and the least I can do is help you as a friend.”
* * *
“You got Val here to hang with.” His tone softened to something more sweet and coaxing. “There’s nothing you need to worry about, okay? All I’m going to do is go home, get cleaned up.”