“No, thank you,” I said politely, but with no room for misinterpretation. It wasn’t often people talked to me at school. Not beyond a handful of people I could call friends of a sort.
“Just give me a minute.” The guy put his hands out and rested them on my shoulders, physically stopping me from moving farther along. I finally looked up and stared daggers at him for laying a hand on me.
“Hey, jerk, get out of my way and take the hint.” But my comment only seemed to spur him on—his cocky smile not affected by my rebuff, until suddenly, he was no longer standing in front of me. His body flew out of my way as Mads grabbed him and hauled him from my sight.
Jeers, shouts, and chants all broke out around me as students came pouring around, smelling blood in the water. I was knocked from side to side as people vied for a better position around both of them. Maddison shoved the guy, and he stumbled back, but Mads followed up, shoving him again. His face was contorted with anger as he rained abuse down on the boy. Because right now, that’s what he looked like—a small boy cowering under Maddison’s rage. And watching, I couldn’t help but feel my heart thunder in my chest as a tingle of a sensation snaked around my stomach and infected my body.
This was my fault. I knew Mads was acting this way because the boy put his hands on me, and this was his way of defending me. The romantic part of my heart, buried somewhere underneath a mountain of confusing feelings towards both Oliver and Maddison, wanted to feel this—a surge of energy and triumph that Maddison’s feelings for me had driven him to this. Although, what did that mean my feelings were towards him, in return? I’d never had a boyfriend, and boys, apart from Mads and Oliver, stayed clear of me. I was old enough to know that feelings could be problematic, and I’d grown familiar with the idea that I loved them both in my own way—in different ways—but not enough to risk ruining our friendship.
The boy attempted to stand up to Mads, which didn’t work, and they ended up grappling, and I was sure I saw Mads land a punch.
“Hey, Maddison!”
Through all the commotion, I made out his voice as clear as day. Oliver dropped his bag at the edge of the hoard of students and pushed his way through to Mads. He grabbed him by the arms, wrenching him away from the boy. Mads fought Oliver to start with, turning his anger on him, before Oliver forced him to calm down, despite the obvious size difference.
My heart was in my mouth as I watched the fight carry on until everyone scattered like a shoal of fish that’d just sensed a predator. The deputy headteacher made an appearance and summoned both the Ray boys to follow him. Oliver looked towards me, seeking me out as I hung back. Without saying anything, he made sure I knew he’d take care of Maddison, nodding slightly and offering a tight smile. My heart stopped in my chest, freezing up as I stared at Oliver, desperate to believe this would be okay, while all Mads could do was scowl as he was marched off. He didn’t even glance in my direction.
I spent the rest of the day worrying my bottom lip to death, checking my phone every moment I could for messages from either of them.
Nothing. And neither of them were on the bus home.
“Grace?” Mum called as I burst through the door and dumped my bag before heading straight back out and over to see if they were home without answering her. Fear that Mads was in trouble hadn’t left me since watching him stomp off, despite Oliver being with him. Fighting at school wasn’t tolerated, and I didn’t want to think about what could happen to him. Because of me. I knew it wasn’t actually my fault, but I also knew that Maddison feeling overly protective of me had caused him to lash out at that boy.
My knuckles rapped frantically on the door, and a moment later, Vivien answered. She must have known I was a state because her usual carefree expression crashed to concern the moment she saw me. “What’s wrong?” she asked, ushering me inside and escorting me through to the living room.
“Have you heard from Oliver or Maddison?” My voice sounded panicked and jittery, and I looked down and tried to hide my hands that were vibrating with anxiety.
“Oh, boy, yes. I had the pleasure of collecting both of them just after lunch.” Her eyes drew together in a frown. “Don’t worry, honey. They are both grounded, and Maddison won’t be back to school for a week, but you don’t have to worry.”
“He’s been suspended?” I squeaked.
“Why don’t you go and speak to him yourself. I know he can be a handful but fighting at school is a new low.”
“Where’s Oliver?”
“They’re both in their separate corners, so to speak. He explained to me what happened, at least, which is more than I can say for my youngest. Go on up if you like. You’re likely to have more luck getting through to him.”
I climbed the stairs up to the small landing with doors to my left and right. All the times I’d come up to see both of them, I’ve never thought too hard about which room to visit first. But today felt like it could set the tone for the rest of our friendship. I stood, my feet rooted to the ground for minutes, waiting, and hoping to make a decision.
“Hey, can I come in?” I brushed the door with my knuckles and pushed it a few inches so I could peek into the room.
Maddison shrugged at me as he continued to play on his computer, bashing the buttons on his controller and never lifting his eyes away from the screen. I sat on the bed, leaned back against the wall, and waited for him to say something. There was a pressure inside the room, constricting me and making my heart stammer and beat loudly in my chest.
“Are you okay?” I started.
“Sure.” Was all I got in return.
“Hey, talk to me. What the hell happened today?” His silent treatment was making me feel even more uncomfortable, and today was too much—for all of us.
“You tell me, Grace. Who the hell was that guy?” He threw his controller on the floor and turned to face me, anger, together with accusation, was etched across his face and directed at me.
“I don’t know. He just tried to stop and talk to me.”
“Well, he wasn’t getting the message.”
“So, you decided that you’d give it to him with your fist?” I leaned forward on the bed, annoyed that he was blaming me for all of this.
“Well no one else was going to, were they? I won’t bother next time.” He sulked and turned away from me, shutting off his computer before he turned towards the door.
I couldn’t believe the aggression he was throwing off. There was no way I was taking that after what he’d done today. “I didn’t ask you to come and defend me. He just spoke to me, jeez. I didn’t realise I couldn’t speak to anyone you didn’t approve of, Mads. What the hell?” My frustration and disappointment were evident and did the job. He stopped at the door, and I could see the conflict racing over his body, his arm twitching as he held the handle. Mads didn’t back down though—it wasn’t in his nature. He was stubborn beyond belief and had to win, even when he was wrong.
“Whatever.” He slammed the door behind him, leaving me in his room alone.
I didn’t know what I’d done wrong or what I should have said to make this situation better, and I hid my face in my hands as I curled up on Maddison’s bed. It smelled of him, that dark and musky scent that made me think of rain and storms. Lying in his bed, breathing him in, I feared that somewhere along the line, my feelings for my friend had short-circuited, mixed up and grown into something much more intense. But I also knew that it wasn’t just for Maddison that my heart had grown confused.