“You sound sad. Anything wrong?”
“No. Just, I don’t know. Maddison and I haven’t been getting on. At least that’s my version of events. I’m sure his will be different.” I stopped before admitting how lost I felt without either of them in my life.
“You’ve got other friends. I’m sure Mads doesn’t have a problem. But if you want, come over when I’m back. We can try and sort everything out.”
“Yeah. We see each other plenty. It’s just we need to clear the air. Maybe I will.” There was a pause on the other end of the phone. “Oliver?”
“Still here. Look, I’ll see you on Saturday.”
Somehow, admitting the rift between Maddison and me to Oliver made me want to do something about it before the weekend. I didn’t want it to still be awkward between us.
Wednesday was the night I’d usually help Maddison with his study. I hadn’t been over to see him in weeks, and there was a huge part of me that was worried he’d just give up on his schoolwork without the encouragement and tutoring. He hated school, he’d made that clear, and I knew he wouldn’t be pushing to go on to University. It was in the peripheral of my mind when I’d thought about the future. For the first time in my life, I’d be on my own, without my mum or my friends. Most people my age saw that as a rite of passage or couldn’t wait to move away to exert their independence and enjoy being an adult.
It haunted me, filling me with an empty chill that made me doubt I’d ever feel whole again. Sure, I hadn’t decided what to do yet, but a large part of that was because I was terrified of making the decision.
Just as I raised my hand to knock at the door, Maddison came barrelling out. “Oh, hey.” He stopped dead in his tracks. A t-shirt strained across his chest and clung to his torso.
I stepped back and tried to avert my gaze, but heat crept over my cheeks. “Wow, what have you been doing the last few weeks?” I asked. He looked like all he’d done was put on muscle.
“I’ve been hitting the gym. It’s been good for me.”
The tension built like fog rolling in at the shore.
“So, I thought we could look at catching up on some study? I know I’ve not been around to help, and I’m sorry.”
“Worried I’m going to fail if you didn’t come and help? Jeez, thanks, Grace,” he spat the words, and I took a step back.
“No, I just… You know as well as I do that study isn’t your thing, and I wanted to help. This is me offering an olive branch.” Mads was acting weirdly. I’d come here to apologise and clear the air, and now I felt under attack.
“You don’t need to worry about my grades, Grace. What does it matter anyway, it’s not like I’m going to be doing anything with them? It’s just a waste of time.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Look, if you don’t mind, I’ve got to go.”
“I’m sorry if I said the wrong thing, and I’m sorry for giving you the silent treatment, okay?” The urge to fix things and stop the way he was speaking to me raced to the surface.
“Fine. Whatever.” He brushed past me in his rush to leave.
It seemed he’d taken our time apart to pass his driving test. He climbed into his parents’ car and without another glance in my direction, headed out.
Tears threatened as I stared at the space where the car had been parked. Maddison had never dismissed me like that before. He’d always looked out for me, made sure I was okay and made time for me. For us.
I ambled home, feeling more lost than ever, and I thought back to the words and confusion that started all of this. Maddison had girls queuing up to be with him. He was the popular one who could have easily chosen to be with his friends above Oliver and me at times. But he hadn’t.
Because we had something special.
Or at least I’d thought we had. The way he’d dismissed me so easily, maybe I’d been wrong? Or maybe he was hurting at my unintended rejection in the first place and how I’d chosen to distance myself? The ache in my chest gave a little pulse and reminded me that nothing was simple anymore and being friends with these brothers came with complications I was hiding from. But what other choice did I have?
The weekend came around and with it a seesaw of joy and trepidation. Oliver was home—I’d got my friend back for a snatch of time, and that made half of my heart sing with happiness. But, we were all having dinner together. I hadn’t reached out to Maddison again, and the nerves about how he might react to me festered in my stomach.
Our fights had been stupid, but I couldn’t undo them or make things right, no matter how much I wished to have my friend back. I pushed the concern from my mind, as it wasn’t fair to let it cloud my day with Oliver. I’d had my provisional driving license for months, so I should just get on with my lessons.
The knock at the door set my feet to action, and I ran down the steps as fast as I could, springing the door wide open. “Hi,” I breathed.
“Hey. You ready?”
“Sort of. Are we learning in your car? Don’t we have to get insurance and stuff?” We walked down the drive.
“See, here’s the thing. I can’t actually teach you to drive.”
“Oh.” My good mood popped like a balloon in my chest.
“I need to be twenty-one. So, unless you want to wait, we’ll have to do it another way.”
“Another way?” I looked at Oliver quizzically, my eyes drawn to the lazy smile tugging at his lips.
“Come on.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me into a jog back towards his house. “It’s not going to be a proper lesson, but it might help with the basics. I’m sure my Dad would be happy to take you out properly?” He opened the doors to his car and jumped in the driver’s side. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
He drove us down the lane, where we rode our bikes as children. The air was warm, and the sun was bright in the sky, flooding me with memories of the times we’d escaped and spent days playing out in the sun and around our tree.
Oliver took the dirt track and then stopped at the gate we’d climbed over more times than I could count.
“We’re going into a field? Are you sure?”
“Yeah. The farmer’s not using it, and it’s been dry for weeks, so no damage to the car or the land. It’s not like we’re spinning doughnuts. Just getting you started.”
It was perfect—and typical Oliver.
When we were in the field, past the tree, we swapped seats, and I got comfy behind the wheel. Oliver went over the clutch-brake-accelerator positions and all the other basics that I sort of already knew. Sitting behind a real car made me feel small and powerless.
I started the engine, and we both smiled at each other like the goofy teenagers we were. “Okay, then, over to you. Nice and steady.”
I eased my feet to find the bite point, and the car edged forward. Then I relaxed and pressed a bit harder, but the car lurched forward, jumping and stalling.
“Don’t worry. Try again,” Oliver encouraged, and I did as I was told. I repeated the actions again, and this time, I was more careful with my foot pressure, and before I knew it, I’d changed gear, and we were driving down the middle of the field.