His face changes, beginning to shut down like I knew it could. Closing his eyes, he turns his face from mine, I watch his throat swallow, and when he opens them again, his expression is clear.
“Yeah,” he murmurs. “A little bit ago, we shared something that felt spectacular, but I know you aren’t ready for. I couldn’t tell what place you were in when you walked away, and then a few minutes later, I heard you sobbing like your entire world was ending. I was scared I hurt you the same way those bastards did. I can tell you if I ever did, I’d never forgive myself.”
“You wouldn’t.”
His eyes hold mine. “I could. Even if I didn’t mean to, I could.”
I place my palm along his bearded cheek. “You wouldn’t.”
“I appreciate the confidence. You good now? No more crying about a pair of jeans?”
I smile slightly and nod.
“Good. We’re going to eat, and then I’m taking you clothes shopping. No more of this bi-weekly delivery from Elias’s mother. That woman lives to shop, but she’s not doing you any favors by bringing clothes to you.”
“Elias’s mom is the one buying me clothes? Why didn’t either of you tell me?”
Alex slides out from beneath me and stands, wiping his hands along the legs of his jeans. “It wasn’t important. You needed to focus on other things. Though, now I think is a perfect time.”
I bite my lip. “I don’t know if I can.”
“You can.” He commands my attention with just his voice. I give it to him. “I’ll be by your side the entire time. Not a single man will look at you.”
My mind goes to the one place it always does when I think back to some of those dark times. “It’s not just the men I’m afraid of,” I whisper.
Alex reaches down and grabs the pair of sweatpants I left on the floor. Approaching me, he holds them out. The gesture reminds me instantly that I’m still naked from the waist down. And he was holding me in his lap. Why does that send a rush of adrenaline through me?
“What does that mean?”
Without making eye contact, I dress as quickly as possible. “It’s not just men. There are women too.”
“Explain.”
“Why?” I cross my arms over my chest for comfort as a chill spreads over my body. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Because in order for me to protect you properly, I need to know everything I’m looking out for. You and I are going shopping today, and if there’s something I need to know to ensure your safety, you need to tell it.”
“There are women who work there. At least one. When I was kidnapped, I wasn’t dragged into a strange man’s car or abducted. Not the way you’d expect. I was…lured. I thought it’d be safe. A woman coaxed me. Said she could be my friend,” I mutter, feeling that familiar shame creeping in at my naivety.
“Fuck,” he curses sharply.
I go on. “They used children too. It’s less suspicious at the park when a child is asking another to play. They use the kids to scope out parents who don’t seem to be paying attention. When the parents relax because their kid found a new friend, that’s when they move in. It’s not just at parks either. Another big place is department stores because parents are easily distracted when they’re busy shopping.”
A silence stretches between us. When I summon the courage to look at him again, my stomach hollows.
His jaw’s locked so tight a knot forms in front of his ears, and his eyes hold nothing but pure rage. The fist of his right hand loosens, and he runs his fingers over his head twice before muttering another, “Fuck.”
Feeling brave, I try to press my point. “So you see, I can’t leave, I can’t go anywhere, I can’t be normal because they’re everywhere. In disguise. Men are the obvious ones. The women… the children…” I trail off because I know he understands.
He conveys this by stepping closer and dropping to his knees in front of me. My heart stutters at the look of determination etched onto his face. He lifts his hand palm up to me, and I glance at it before placing mine in his. “You are safe. Goddammit, I’m not much of anything, but I’m a man of his word. I would die than let someone take you away from me. If that means we go out in public, and I can’t take my hand off you, then you better get used to my touch. If that means you need to try on some jeans with me in the dressing room, then I’ll turn my back to give you privacy. If you have to use the damn restroom, I’ll clear everyone out and stand guard at the door if that’s what it takes for you to feel it. When you stand beside me, you’re safe. Your life is far more precious than my own.”
My fingers tighten reflexively around his.
“I’m taking that as a yes.” He leans down and presses a gentle kiss on the back of my hand, tickling my sensitive skin with his beard. The man practically just swore death to anyone who looks at me funny yet is capable of touching me with such care.
And after that thought, I realize I didn’t need him to say any of those things because I already knew. I’ve felt safe with him since the very beginning. Since I opened my eyes to his big brown ones gazing at me. Since I jumped on the back of his motorcycle. Since I showed up at his apartment without a key. I’ve known without a doubt in my heart that Alex will take care of me.
“Yes, let’s go, but I’m paying.” I respond finally as he moves to his feet.
“Fuck no, blossom.” He smiles at the end to take the sting away, and he moves a piece of hair behind my ear.
“Alex, please. I can’t have you spending money on me.”
“This ain’t some caveman war, darling, but I also distribute your paycheck, and I know as of now I’ve only given you two. And those two weren’t even close enough to help you afford buying a new wardrobe, so no. Pay me back when you’re back on your feet, but right now, I have this.”
I suck in a deep breath and attempt to strengthen my tone when he speaks again. And what he says shuts me up.
“I have over six figures in the bank,” he shares softly. “Inherited all my pop’s money when he died, and honestly Shelby, I don’t want it, so if I can spend some of it on you, it’ll make me a hundred times happier than if I let it sit in the bank collectin’ interest.”
I stare back, completely lost for words. “I’ll pay you back,” I answer stupidly.
He grins. “You do that when the time is right. Though instead of money, I’d love to teach you how to cook me a steak.”
“Done.”
His smile deepens so much the corners of his eyes crinkle. “Done.”
Chapter Twelve
Shelby
We skipped making lunch at the house and swung by a deli place for sandwiches that we ate in the car on the way to the store. I just barely managed to talk Alex out of going to an outlet mall and opted for a single department store in a nearby suburb instead. He said the brands were good here, nowhere near high-end, but not the lowest either. Even though I would have preferred to spend the least amount of money possible, he argued that I wasn’t wearing “that cheap shit,” and I was done arguing.