"Damn straight you weren't thinking. Do you even know—" he stopped himself, and slowly lowered his arm. Hayden's face paled, twisting into a nauseating clarity. His eyes widened. "When you got sick, this was the cause of it? When I took you to the doctor?"
I clenched my eyes shut. I hadn't planned on telling him that little tidbit.
"I think we need another shot," I suggested, deflecting. I tried to step away, but he reached out and clamped a hand over my wrist. His grip wasn’t painful, but ferocity pulsed through his hand and his eyes were dark with fury.
"It was, wasn’t it?"
"Yes and no. We had an argument that led to some rough…ish sex. It hurt to pee the next day so I held it in, which was stupid because it's what caused the infection. The doctor said it could've been a combo of the pill on top of the kidney infection that caused the severe cramping."
"Un-fucking-real. How many times have you taken this shit, Aid?"
I winced at the bite in his tone. "This would be my third time."
His jaw slackened, and so did the hand holding my wrist. His shoulders dropped, like he'd been defeated for not protecting me sooner. I had no intention of hurting Hayden, but he wanted the truth, and honestly, I needed to get it out.
Dragging a hand through his hair, he tugged at his scalp. He paced the living room, shaking his head, and muttering under his breath. Anxiety clenched my stomach as I watched. His grip crinkled the box, and I sent up a silent prayer in hopes he wouldn't crush the pill. His other hand was a tight fist at his side, the veins in his arm twirling down his forearm. He was so mad, so pissed off I thought he was going to punch my wall, but his next move blindsided me.
Hayden strode up to me, and before I could blink, he tugged me into a hug. He aligned his body with mine and placed his big muscled arms around my shoulders, caging me to him. His entire body trembled with rage. I dropped my fight against him to accept what happened and wound my arms around his lower back. Somehow, I think he needed this more than I did.
"I'm going to fucking kill him," he said with his lips to the top of my head. "He should've never allowed himself to be in a situation where he would be tempted."
"It wasn't all him, you know. I'm to blame too."
Hayden ran a hand down my hair and kissed the top of my head. He nestled me closer to him and gave me a comforting embrace. The vodka was pulsing through my veins and I relaxed into him with a warm sigh. Despite confessing parts of my torrid affair to him, it was a relief to talk about it.
"Do not have sex with him again. Please," he begged, his voice cracking along with my heart. Hayden was my closest friend here. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him, and while he demanded the whole truth, the truth affected him.
"If you want it…if you want sex, use me. We don't have to be in a relationship, and we don't have to tell anyone."
"He thinks we're in a relationship," I said, staring at his honey-colored arms.
Hayden pulled back and looked down at me. One of his hands rested on the small of my back, the other at the base of my neck. His gentle fingers massaged my nape and my body flushed from his touch. I looked up at him and realized the vodka was hitting me faster than I thought…as well as him. We both had the same glossy-eyed look.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it was one of the reasons why he pulled me, but also really because he wants me to hate him to the point where I won't let him come near me since he can't seem to stay away from me, if you catch my drift…"
His lip curled up. "Unreal. He's a real piece of work. So, he took you out of the meet because he thinks you two are in a relationship, all the while he’s screwing his girlfriend at home on a regular basis, and because he can't control himself? Can we say double standard?"
"He said he wants me to hate him."
"And do you?"
I thought about his question before I responded. "Yes and no. It's complicated."
Hayden released his hold and stepped back, staring at the wall behind me. I’d blindsided him with my bible-sized list of confessions.
He ran a hand through his hair again and said, "Let's get another drink, and then maybe that will be it for the night. We don't want to wake up with a wicked hangover."
Before I could respond, there was an insistent tap at my door. My heart dropped. Blood drained from my face and Hayden observed me with a confused look.
I knew who it was. It could only be one person.
Four
The rap on the door sounded again, followed by Kova’s muffled voice.
"Adrianna, open the door."
"Oh hell fucking no," Hayden bit out, and casually tossed the small box of morning after pills onto the coffee table.
He stomped toward the door, and by some miracle, I got there before him and stood in front of him.
"Hayden, please, stand back," I begged, my hands flat to his chest trying to push him away. His pecs flexed against my palms, but he didn't budge. "Don't say a word to him. He obviously already knows that you know and I'm sure he's worried."
"Why are you sticking up for him?"
"I'm not." Maybe I was just a little. "Just let me talk to him and see what he wants."
He cracked his neck to the side and gritted out, "Fine."
"Thank you."
Hayden took a small, small step back. Taking a deep breath and praying for the best, I unbolted the door with trembling fingers and pulled it open.
My lungs burned at the sight of Kova. I hated him. I hated the ground he walked on, the air he breathed.
At least, I wanted to. That's what I told myself.
The unexpected presence of him caused a stirring inside my belly and a drumming in my heart. For a split second, I forgot all the turmoil he's caused, the havoc he's wrecked. One look into his green eyes and his raw emotion was on display for all to see.
He was overcome with despair. Distraught.
There was something downright magnetic about Kova that drew me to him. An allure, a fascination.
And something as powerful and as captivating as him could only ever end in utter destruction.
I stepped back to let Kova inside and bumped into Hayden. His chest was flush against my back, his arm stretched around my abdomen and rested possessively on my hip. It was then that Kova lifted his stare and looked behind me. His jaw tightened and his eyes darkened at the sight of Hayden. Something flickered in his gaze, a shadow of knowledge, but it was gone as quickly as it came. Kova pushed his way into my condo like it was a natural thing for him.
Hayden released me, and before I could stop him, his fist flew toward Kova in a blur of motion. "Hayden, no!" I gasped at the sound of his knuckles connecting with Kova's sharp jaw, the crack splintering the tension in the room.
"Oh my God!" I barely had enough time to move when the back of Kova's larger than life body fell toward me like a building about to collapse. Luckily for my sake, he quickly regained his footing and stood upright. I walked to stand between them and put my hands out. I wasn't sure I had the ability to stop them, but I was sure as hell going to try.
Kova brought the back of his hand to his mouth, his eyes gleamed, a wicked grin spread across his face. He would smile.