“We’ll handle things here. Why don’t you take off to see if you can fix things?” He suggests.
“I can’t. I promised Wyatt I’d help him get to the bottom of this bullshit with Nellie.”
Dad releases a heavy breath. “Sometimes I think we put too much pressure on you to be there for everyone else. Your brothers are big lads. They can take care of themselves. I’m sure Wyatt would understand if you took off.”
“He might, but I wouldn’t feel right. There’s the baby and this bullshit with Nellie. The cops may be backing off, but we still need to know where this came from. I think the last thing I should do at this point is separate from the family.
“Something doesn’t feel right. Trust me, I would go if this feeling wasn’t so strong. It’s like the storm has just begun to brew,” I say as my thoughts turn.
“Aye.” He sighs, sounding as frustrated as I feel. “You have a point. It’s like we get over one obstacle and the next one comes knocking without giving us a breath.”
Dad walks over to the couch and takes a seat. He pushes his hands into his hair. It’s clear all of this is starting to weigh on him. First Nellie’s kidnapping, then Toby’s little family of secrets, now all of this.
“Don’t worry about me,” I say.
He snorts. “When you have a lot of your own, I want you to repeat that to me. I worry about you all. I want to see you happy. That was starting to happen while you were taking those trips.”
“Yeah, well, I’m going to have to work extra hard to get through to her once I can get there. It’s not like I haven’t been trying to call and text,” I say as I move to take a seat beside my dad.
“Women are never easy to win over. You have no idea what I had to go through to win over your mother. And when she realized I had plans to move her away from her family, I thought she was going to put my eyes out with a hot blade.” He gives a small chuckle.
Tossing my head back against the couch, I turn to the side to look at him. Dad sags back into the cushions too, looking tired. He rubs his eyes before folding his arms over his chest as if he’s about to take a nap.
“How about I start the grill? I have some steaks. It’s been a while since it’s been just me and you. I’d like it if you stay for a bit,” I say.
“You had me at steaks. I’m going to sit here and take a nap before your mother calls fussing about you lads. It’s becoming an everyday thing.” He laughs.
“Take all the rest you need.”
Chapter 41
Over Him
Roni
“You’re feeling like you’re losing control again,” Val says as she sits beside me by the pool at her estate. She reaches to run her hand over the shaved left side of my hair.
I don’t know what I feel. The hair thing was a moment of frustration. I only did the one side before I pulled myself together.
I shrug at Val. “I guess so.”
“If you ask me, the hair looks good on you. Makes you look more dangerous,” she says.
I turn to her and she has a smile. I don’t know when, but I’ve come to feel safe around this woman. I trust her.
I knit my brows. “What if I wasn’t dangerous in my old life? What if I was some timid, shy girl everyone walked over? Will I be able to go back to that when I remember who I am?”
“I’d say fate stepped in. You were never meant to be timid or shy. Who you really are is in your eyes. I think once you find what you’re looking for, you’re going to be a force to be reckoned with,” she says.
I nod as I stare off into space. Everything has changed, but so much remains the same. None of the memories that have surfaced are enough to piece together. We’re no closer to finding Natasha, if she’s even still alive.
“You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.” I turn to Val as her words pull me out of my head. “I don’t know what happened between you and John. I can’t say I know him well, but what I do know is things aren’t always what they seem. It’s important to have all the facts before you make a decision.”
I snort. “We were never meant to be more than friends. I was reaching for something I have no right to and I got burned. I have someone counting on me. Chasing after John was only a distraction,” I reply.
“Maybe, maybe not. There’s something about the way you two are together. Don’t be so quick to give up.”
Her words sting. I’m no quitter, but I know when to protect me. When it comes to John, I need to guard myself with all I am.
My heart still feels like someone dragged it over a cheese grater. That pretty blonde looked more like his type. Barbie and Ken in the flesh.
Val reaches for the braid resting on my right shoulder. “Maybe John will be into the whole Viking thing you have going on,” she teases. She sombers up. I’ve never seen her look so sad. “My world could be crashing down around me, Roni. I could be losing everything. If he means that much to you. Give him a call. Don’t waste precious time.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
She shakes her head. “Uri will take care of it. My husband has never broken a promise to me. I’m just letting fear get the best of me.”
“Yeah, I can understand that.”
“Tell me. Is fear what’s keeping you from calling John?”
I look at her and think over the question. I’m hurt. A part of me thinks it’s because I know that girl has probably satisfied John in ways I wouldn’t know how.
Forget all the kinky shit. I don’t know if I’d be any good at the basics. I shrug my shoulders.
“Can I tell you something without you judging me?”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Of course, you should already know this.”
I chew on my lip for a second. “I believe I’m a virgin. No, I know I am.”
Her mouth drops open. I can see the wheels turning in her head. A slow smile turns her lips up.
“I see the problem. This we can fix.”
“What?”
She waves a hand. “I was a virgin when I married. Uri was a good teacher, but I learned a few things from the girls. Tonight, we call them over and we’ll teach you and my little sister a few things.
“She’s been taking my advice to seduce Luca. This will be perfect. All of the ladies could use a distraction. What better way than to teach you two how to give a great blow job,” she says.
I choke. “Pardon me?”
“Today me and the girls teach you how to fuck, tomorrow we go to the spa. The two of us,” she says as if it’s a shopping spree and pamper day.
She continues as if it’s nothing. “I don’t know how those Irish-Scots do it, but we Italians know how to pamper. We’ll have a day on my husband. I’m going in to call the girls.”
She laughs and the sparkle returns to her blue eyes. Patting my shoulder, she gets up and returns to the house. I’m left shaking my head, confused by what just happened.
Working for Val doesn’t seem like working some days. I’m not complaining. I make damn good money, but I feel like I’m hanging with a friend, not working security. Uri has his own men that guard the family. I know Val only hired me because she knew I wanted to make money of my own.