Ryan straightens from behind the couch. “And you mean to tell me you two aren’t fucking,” he says.
I give him the finger. “Not that it’s any of your damn business in the first place.”
“Forget all of that. Come here, Roni. I think the kid is onto something. It’s probably a cold lead by now, but it will confirm that Natasha is still alive,” Felix says.
Roni moves to Torque’s side so fast; I have to do a doubletake. I go over to see what’s going on as well. Once I round the couch, I hover next to Ry.
“This is what I was doing while you guys were away. I got this new digital drawing pad. I was able to draw a picture of Natasha and then use digital software to make it 3D. After that, I started to run it through facial recognition software at train stations, bus ports, and airports around the country,” Torque explains.
“The kid is smart,” Brax says.
“I wasn’t getting anything at first. I mean, I had to go region by region, country by country, and I spanned the course of four years. Then I got lucky. I got a hit on a shithole bus station here in the States,” Torque says.
“Where?” Roni says as she stands as if ready to jump into action.
“Calm down, killer,” Ry says, causing me to pop him in the back of the head. I know how important this is to Roni.
“He’s right. No need to get our hopes up just yet. This was two years ago. I doubt we’ll find a trace of her there now, but it’s hope, right? She’s still out there,” Torque says, sounding more like the fifteen-year-old that pled with me to help Roni on that truck.
“Good work, kid,” Roni says in her detached voice.
When she turns and heads for the bedroom, I can feel the hurt coming off of her. This has been weighing on her shoulders for years. I wish I would have gone back when she asked me to that night.
“Felix, Ry, you guys mind going to Georgia and looking into this. Maybe there are some breadcrumbs still there. It’s worth a try. Best lead we’ve had yet,” I say.
“I want to go with them,” Torque says.
I nod. “Be safe.”
Chapter 48
Warning
Roni
Seven months and two weeks later…
“Hey, you,” Val says into the phone.
“Hold on a sec,” I reply.
The salty, briny air hits me in the face. The sound of the waves crashing soothes me. I put one earbud in to switch the call to my headphones.
“Hey.”
She’s silent for a moment. I have to check to make sure I switched over properly. We’re connected.
“What’s going on? And don’t tell me nothing. I can hear it in your voice,” she says.
I stop and turn to face the ocean. I drove out to the beach to be alone to think. I’m grumpy and need a vacation.
“John wants us to go to Ireland for his brother’s wedding. I don’t want to go,” I mumble.
“Why the hell not? I’m going to be there. You can see the kids.”
“Don’t make this about you, big head,” I mutter.
“Oh, I’m so going to whip your ass,” she scoffs. “Tell me, La rabbia della morte. What is the real problem?”
I groan. Death’s rage. “That’s the thing. I haven’t been full of that same rage. It’s not gone, it’s simmering somewhere in the back of my mind, but not taking over.”
“Because of John?”
“Coger, woman. Does it always have to be about him?”
“Let’s see. Yes.”
I sigh. “Okay, yes, it’s him. Somehow in the last three months, John has convinced me to start dating him again. It started with dinner one night, then a movie. The next thing, I’m getting flowers at the apartment and kisses goodnight that aren’t of the friend variety.”
Val laughs at me, causing me to roll my eyes. “I once told you the two of you are inevitable. Why are you fighting it?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper. “I need to make up my mind. Three and a half years is a long time to be in love with someone and deny it.”
Yup, I said that out loud. I’ve been in love with John since he held my pissy ass on that bus and made me feel like a human again. If it weren’t for that crazy ex of his, we’d probably be way more by now.
“Why deny it? Is it this monster that’s riding your back? I’ve been there. You have time? I will tell you about me and Uri. Maybe that will help.”
“I have time.”
I plop down on my ass in the sand as Val goes into the story of her and her husband. As she speaks things start to become clearer to me. I see a lot of myself in her.
“I’ve used his ex as an excuse to keep my distance,” I say when Val is done. “With all the shit I have going on, it used to make sense. Now, all I know is I want to stop fighting it. But… how do I do that knowing I don’t know what happened to my friend? Is it right for me to be happy? She could be living a nightmare.”
“One of the things I respect about you most is your loyalty. You’re a great friend. The way you look after Torque, this girl you wish to find. I wish you told me about her sooner.”
“I didn’t know who I could trust.”
“I understand.” She pauses. “I think she would want you to be happy either way. If it were me… my sister would have wanted the best for me. I know she would. I live every day to the fullest for her and my mother. Watching them die… a piece of me was killed with them, but the rest, the part that’s still breathing, they would want that part to be happy. So that’s what I’m doing. I think your friend would want the same.”
“Maybe.”
“So stubborn. Listen, my children and husband are looking at me like I’m neglecting them. I better see you at that wedding. And Roni.”
“Yeah?”
“Let him love you. You know you love him. Three and a half years is a long time to love someone. To love them and be patient. See this from his eyes,” she says and hangs up.
I’m floored by her words. I feel pretty damn selfish too. I start to wonder when John has time to get some ass. He’s either always with me and Torque or with his brothers.
Then it hits me. I don’t think he’s had sex since we moved here. That’s insane. Even I flick the bean at night to fantasies of him.
I sit for another hour before I stand and brush the sand off my backside. I’m still lost in thought as I make my way to my car. My phone buzzes with a text.
John: We’re on our way home. Did you eat?
I can’t help smiling. We didn’t move into his big house, but somewhere along the way he moved into our apartment. I needed an extra bedroom for an office, my ass. He planned on moving in from the time he found us the place.
Me: Nope. Not yet. I want tacos.
“Is that John?”
I look up at the sound of the whiny, irritating as fuck voice. This bitch. Like does she have some type of radar for when John and I are together. She has to.
I fold my arms over my chest and cock my hip to the side as I glare at her. “First, get your ass off my car before I drag you off it.”