Levi and Devon come over to let us know they’re good to head back to Jay Beach, and I think I’ve managed to escape a Riptide visit without any unwanted encounters. But it seems Sarah has decided to wrap things up at the same time, and she walks over as we stand up to go.
I’m expecting her to ignore me and talk to Beck, but it’s me she addresses first.
“Checking out your competition? When will we be up against each other next, anyway?”
I bite back my laugh at her questions, which would have stung in the past. Now I get it. She does see me the way I’ve wanted her to: as a worthy competitor. It somehow changes all of her interactions with me up to this point under that lens. Sure, I still think she could have a little more grace about it, but I guess that’s not her nature.
“Not until the X Games,” I answer. I’m not going to deny I was watching her just now.
She nods and I think I might detect a tiny trace of a smile. “Good.”
Without any acknowledgment of Beck or my friends, she skates away.
After a beat of silence, Beck pulls me to his side and ignores the exchange that just happened. “So, what do you guys want to do for dinner?”
We’re at the beach the next day when Griffin plops down beside me in the sand.
“I have a bonus incentive for you,” he tells me.
“Oh?”
“Yep. If you podium at the X Games, Brazen will get you a car.”
A snort escapes. “Brazen will get me a car? Really, Griff?”
He’s not laughing though. “Really, Jordan.”
“Why? Did Beck put you up to this?” This is too outrageous to be something sponsors do on the regular.
“No, it’s my idea. Most contracts have bonus incentives like this.”
I shoot him a doubtful look.
“Well, usually they’re cash incentives, not cars, but sometimes there are product bonuses.”
My toes dig into the sand, and I try to decide how I feel about this. “But you don’t have to. I’m contracted through the end of the year without bonus incentives.”
“Maybe I want to give you extra motivation to make a statement at the X Games.”
My toes stop wiggling in the sand and I squint at Griff, who isn’t giving anything away with his expression. “Did Beck tell you?”
He blinks. “Tell me what?”
I bite my lip. “What my goal is at the X Games,” I say, not quite ready to voice that I’ve landed a 720.
“No, I don’t think so. What’s your goal?”
I hesitate before answering, “I guess it’s to make a statement, like you said.” Only Beck knows about the 720 and I want to keep it that way. For now.
“Well, it would also be an opportunity for Brazen to partner with another company. We can hash out the details. Your next contract will have a lot more bonus incentives regarding comps, so at some point here you’ll need an agent. I know you can advocate for yourself, but you’re headed to the next level, and an agent will really help.”
The way he says that, like it’s a given I’m “headed to the next level,” it feels good. I know Beck believes in me and of course Griff wouldn’t have taken me on as a Brazen athlete if he didn’t feel that way too. But I find myself swaying between embracing my newfound confidence on the one hand, and on the other, wondering when everyone will realize I really am a nobody, a fraud, not the pro skateboarder they hoped I’d be. It’s a weird space to be in.
I’m fighting for the girl I was last night. A year ago, maybe months or even weeks ago, I might have watched Sarah Kase on that half pipe with awe, drowning in the belief I’d never be so fearless or capable on such a major vert. But instead, I saw glimpses of myself, much like Phoebe and Wyatt voiced, and realized I am a worthy competitor. It’s a terrifying thought, but I’m getting better at taking on the scary stuff.
The rest of our roommates – both from the Summerside condo and the Jay Beach house – join us at the beach and I can’t stop smiling. It’s the best having all my favorite people together like this hanging out. Naomi and Summer even get a pass on family Sunday dinner to be with us. Everyone gives me shit about the bruises now yellowing and the scrapes I can’t hide in a bathing suit, but no one takes a guess what it’s from. They figure it’s just typical me, getting overly tenacious on my skateboard, or what did Phoebe say? Tunnel vision. They aren’t wrong about that.
I’m standing in the water beside Moses and Lennon when I notice them sharing a funny look.
When Moses catches me looking at them curiously, he says, “We have a confession.”
“You have a confession?”
“Yep. We saw it. The 720.”
My eyebrows snap together. I open my mouth to ask how, since I’d thought we were alone, but Lennon answers my question. “We came out on the back porch and were about to turn around to let you guys have the park to yourself, but you took off. And we couldn’t stop watching.”
“I almost started cheering but Lennon dragged me inside, told me you probably wanted it to be private with Beck.” He points a soft smile in her direction. “She’s smart like that.”
I think about how Beck embraced me immediately afterward and how I wanted to jump him right then and there. We managed to wait until the jet ski adventure later…
“I’m sorry,” Lennon apologizes. “When you didn’t say anything to anyone at the house and it didn’t show up on social media, we realized it really was private. Like a secret? I mean, I could never keep something so big a secret, but I guess in this case my instincts were right. You’re not ready to share it with the world, huh?”
It’s hard to be irritated with them for accidentally seeing what was meant to be a private moment between me and Beck, between me and my skateboard. I’d thought everyone was at work and the house was empty. But they’re being so cool and understanding about the whole thing, I can’t really bother with feelings of annoyance.
“I’m not ready yet. You haven’t told anyone else, have you?”
They both shake their heads. “No way,” Moses tells me putting out a fist for me to bump. “But I couldn’t hold back congratulating you.”
“It’s really incredible, Jordan,” Lennon adds. “Are you planning to tell the world someday or are we keeping this a secret forever?”
I puff out my cheeks and blow out air, figuring I might as well spill the rest of the beans. “I want to keep practicing until I get it down. And then I’m hoping to go for it at the X Games for the first time.”
“Nice,” Moses says with obvious respect.
Lennon’s eyes go wide and her voice is practically a whisper when she says, “That would be epic.”
“But don’t mention it again because honestly my heart is racing just telling you this and I don’t want any added pressure in case I change my mind. It’s just kind of a goal right now, or maybe more like a dream. I’m not a big fan of trying tricks at contests if I’m not confident I can nail them.” I laugh and roll my eyes at myself. “I say that as if I’ve been at a ton of contests. I’m still a newbie and playing it conservative.”