I arrived at school and decided not to go to first period. Hayden was there, which was all the more reason for me to steer clear of the English classroom and head to the secluded part of the school that was deserted at most times. This way, I didn’t risk getting seen by teachers.
I hated skipping classes. I felt guilty, like my chance of going to a good college would slip away. After I clung to my escape for so long, working hard and dreaming high, I couldn’t let it go to waste. I’d started working on my college applications this summer, hoping that by some miracle Yale, which had great art programs, would accept me, and made it a mission to have good grades no matter what.
I was in the middle of hallway when I heard two familiar voices arguing, their angry words drifting from the outside through an open window nearby. I tip-toed and stopped next to the window, peeking around it.
Hayden, Masen, and Blake were smoking right in front of me, obviously skipping classes. I whipped my head back, my heart pounding violently in my chest. Unlike Hayden and Blake, Masen was facing the window, and I hoped he hadn’t noticed me.
“Will you two stop it already?” Masen said in irritation. “First, you didn’t want to talk to each other, and now, you can’t stop arguing.”
Blake snorted. “The princess here feels offended, as usual. I don’t want to suck up to anyone, especially not to you, Hayden.”
“Fuck you. I had enough of your crap.”
“My crap?! What about your crap?!”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about that bullshit episode you had with Sarah Decker on Saturday.”
“What?” Masen asked.
“That’s right,” Blake replied to him. “You should’ve seen them, Mace. He hugged her like she was his girlfriend or something. They looked like they were going to fuck each other right there, on the street!”
“Shut the fuck up, dipshit!” Hayden hissed, which was followed by the sounds of bodies colliding into each other.
“Hey! Hey! Stop it, you two! You aren’t going to fight. I said, stop it !” Masen shouted. The sounds of their fight ceased, replaced by their heavy breathing.
“Is it true?” Masen asked. “You hugged her?”
“I didn’t hug her. I just kept her restrained because she wanted to bail.”
“Since when do you need to hug her to restrain her?” Blake remarked sarcastically. “And why didn’t you just let her go?”
“That wasn’t a hug, asshole; I just wanted to mess with her.”
“Yeah, right. Let me tell you something, princess,” Blake started. “I got used to your hot-cold episodes, and the shit you do can’t scare the crap out of me anymore, but switching from one side to the other when it comes to that bitch? It’s fucking crazy. I can’t believe that.”
Masen groaned. “Seriously, man. That chick is the reason Kayden and you got into that car accident. She’s so irritating and whiny. We always hated her guts, but these last few days you’re different. Actually, you’re different ever since we got back from our summer camp, and if you keep on acting like this, I’ll start thinking you missed her during summer or some shit like that.”
“Oh come on. I’m playing with her.”
“You’re supposed to hurt her, not play with her,” Blake spat.
“What’s your problem, Blake? Sad because you couldn’t hurt your toy on Saturday? You’re strangely fixated on Jessica Metts.”
“So now you’re turning this back on me? And what if I am? What does that have to do with you?”
“I don’t follow you two anymore,” Masen chimed in.
“Blake almost peed his pants with excitement when he saw Jessica Metts on Saturday. She drove Sarah back home, and Blake was more than glad to see her. Now, I’m sad I separated the kids.” Hayden’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.
“I have the fucking right to do whatever I want to her. Besides, you’re one to talk! You’re fixated on that bitch since the day you met her, and after all this time, you’re still playing that stupid cat-and-mouse game. I really wonder if you hate her for real, or that is just a bluff.”
My heart thumped so loud that I feared they were going to hear it. I was incapable of moving from this spot. I should go. I should go right away, but my legs didn’t listen.
“You have no idea,” Hayden growled.
“You bet I don’t have. When it comes to her, I don’t know you, man.”
“He hates me!” I wanted to scream to Blake. “He tried to kill me, and he’s sending me those awful messages now!”
I looked around me, scared that someone would appear and expose me. I’d been eavesdropping long enough.
I stepped back from the window, intending to walk away silently, when Hayden said, “I don’t know myself, man.” He sounded defeated and lost. “I don’t fucking know anything anymore.”
I PULLED MY WAVY BROWN hair into a ponytail, inspecting myself in the mirror. I was wearing all black, dressed in baggy workout pants and an equally baggy shirt with a Mickey Mouse logo. I was impatient to get outside and find some relief in running.
The current bundle of nerves had been piling up in my chest since I arrived home in my car thirty minutes ago. My mom was sober enough at last to realize it had been gone for days—I didn’t know if I should laugh from the absurdity of it or cry because I was being neglected—and she didn’t want to let it slide. It would be a lie if I said she treated me better when she wasn’t tanked.
She stopped behind me and crossed her arms over her chest, glowering at me through the mirror. “How much money have you already spent repairing that old wreck?”
Why did she care about the money? It wasn’t like she was paying for my repairs.
“I’m handling it, so you don’t have to worry about it.”
“How should I not worry when you’re repairing it all the time?! Do you want us to be flat broke?! If you can’t keep it in one piece, then you shouldn’t drive.”
“I’m sorry, okay? It won’t happen again.” I could only hope. “I’m going out. See you!”
I didn’t wait for her answer or permission to leave. I darted out without even looking at her, needing to get this brewing unease out of my system.
Hayden’s car was parked in his driveway, but he was nowhere in sight, which was a relief. I picked up my pace, checking the time on my phone. It was close to six. The sky was bright and clear blue at the moment, but it would be dark soon, which meant I had to return home real quick. Maybe I was becoming paranoid, but since I’d started receiving those dire texts, I didn’t feel comfortable being outside during the evening anymore.
I gripped the phone in my hand, jogging along my usual route, my mind returning to the conversation I heard today. I couldn’t help but feel that Hayden was setting a new trap for me, because how could he say he didn’t know if he hated me when everything he did sent a message of hate? These text warnings were another clear sign of his feelings.
I mustn’t be delusional again. Besides, even if he didn’t hate me, which was impossible, that didn’t change the fact that he’d done many horrible things to me. He still did. I couldn’t just turn over a new leaf when it came to him. I couldn’t be so foolish.