The only time we ever end up going somewhere is if we’re invited by one of Mom or Jed’s bar friends, which is rare, and I’m almost never invited anyway.
So, I stick at home and usually hangout with the boys. They don’t have family, either. We’re just a group of misfits with no families.
“Ooo, sparklers. My favorite.” I dig in the bag and take out the box of sparklers.
“I made sure Rich got extra for you.” Logan gives me a toothy grin, and I blush under his gaze.
“Thanks.” I mumble, averting my gaze when I smell the scent of smoke. I look over and see Jackson sparking a cigarette over near Easton.
“Ew, you smoke?” I wrinkle my nose at him. He takes a drag and blows it out in my direction. I wave my hand in front of my face to rid the stench. I cough and wheeze out, “Gross. Stop.”
Once the smoke clears, I’m hit with a direct look at his vibrant green eyes lit with a fire I’ve never seen before. He looks both empty and full of light and darkness, and the mixture scares me a little.
Something about him terrifies me. He seems like someone that will create unthinkable damage to someone.
The other part of him… well, that part terrifies me as well, but for other reasons. Reasons I don’t want to even think about.
“I think everyone is supposed to be in the field at nine. We should probably start bringing the shit over there.” Easton says, walking over and grabbing a handful of fireworks.
Almost the entire town, at least people from school, end up going to the field to watch the boys blow off fireworks. No one else is wealthy enough to buy the good fireworks. The most people get are the little snakes that look like pieces of poop, or pop rocks.
I swear I can hear Jackson sigh behind me, and I almost want to look at him to nod in agreement, but I’m still feeling off from our last encounter. So, instead, I sigh internally and follow the boys out into the field. I’m already sweating insane amounts and I feel gross. I can feel the dampness against my back and around the neckline of the sweatshirt. It feels like it’s suctioning to me, sucking the life out of me. It’s claustrophobic.
Honestly, I wish I could just call it quits for the night and go in my room. I’ve been feeling off today, and the thought of being around a ton of people from school only makes the feeling worse.
We make our way to the field about a mile away from the park, walking through weeds and listening to the crickets and noisy bugs shouting to each other through the field. This is something about home that makes me feel good. Comfortable. The loud bugs in the silent town. The muggy, hot air creating a layer of moisture across my skin.
Once we make our way to the area of the field where the weeds have been torn down—thanks to the suckers that Easton and Logan forced to come out here yesterday and clear out for them—we start getting things set up. People start coming within minutes of us arriving, one of them bringing a stereo with them. Tupac starts blaring from the speakers, and only a short time later I begin to smell the scent of marijuana lingering in the air.
Soon the entire field is filled up with our entire school, and even some younger and older people show up as well. Easton and Logan go to set up the first firework when it gets dark enough. I look around and whip my sweatshirt over my head when no one is looking. I really don’t think anyone will notice when it’s this dark out. There are no city lights nearby, and it makes this area almost eerily dark.
“Let’s get this shit started!” Logan laughs. Easton stands beside him with a lighter in hand, ready to light the first firework. I look behind me and see Jackson standing off to the side with a blank and uninterested look on his face.
“Is there something wrong with him?” I lean in and whisper to Easton.
He looks at me with a lifted brow, glancing over his shoulder and looking at Jackson. “He’s good.” He laughs.
Jackson narrows his eyes at me, and I quickly turn my head around to face Logan. He’s puffing on a joint, and when he sees me eyeing it, he lifts it towards me. “Wanna hit?”
I stare at it and contemplate. I have only smoked weed a couple times in my life, and each of them ended with me feeling giggly and tired afterwards. But after how today has been, maybe I do need to lighten up a bit. “Sure.” I mumble.
I grab it from him, pinch it between my thumb and forefinger and bring it to my lips. The instant scent of marijuana tickles my nose as I go and take a hit. The smoke fills my lungs, the urge to cough overwhelming as I try to hold the smoke in. I fail, coughing so hard my eyes water. The smoke bursts out of my mouth and nose, burning my sinuses. Easton and Logan start laughing at me, and I flick them off as I keep coughing. “Here.” I groan through a cough, trying to pass it to Easton.
“It’s Jackson’s hit.” He nods towards Jackson, and a part of my high already simmers out.
I turn around, watching Jackson stare at me with an expectant glimmer in his eyes. He knows the fear he puts off on people, and I think he even enjoys it.
“Here.” I whisper, nearly inaudible.
He keeps his hand at his sides, and I take a baby step towards him, arms lifted, joint extended. Jackson stares at my hand like it’s covered in dog shit.
“If you don’t want it, I’ll just pass it to Easton.” I snark at him. Do I really repulse him this much? What the hell did I even do? I don’t even know him!
I’m about to put my hand down when he snaps his hand out, taking the joint before I can even blink. The only reason I know he grabbed it is because my hand burns where his fingers grazed mine. It’s like his hand was a lit match as it danced across my skin. It was so light and so brief, I only felt a wave of heat.
I look at him, wondering if he felt the same fire I felt, but he’s turned around so I can only see his back. His black shirt and jean shorts look like cardboard as his stiff form barely moves with his motions.
I sigh, turning back to Easton just as he lights the first firework. The fuse ignites, the fire crawling closer to the firework. Easton and Logan rush back towards me. Logan grabs onto my arm and drags me back even further.
I can feel the boom in my chest when the firework goes off, shooting into the sky before falling apart into a blue crackle. People cheer, intoxicated and full of adrenaline as the night starts.
You’d think that we’re too young to drink and smoke, but people around these parts are exposed to liquor and drugs at a young age. I try to stay away because of my mom. I’ve seen too much and the last thing I want is to end up like her, but it seems everyone else my age doesn’t give a shit about drinking until they pass out.
Logan slings his arm over my shoulder, shouting into the sky as the boom of fireworks light the sky above us. The colors move around in a choreographed dance that only they know. I watch them move left to right, grow bigger and smaller, and chance colors like magic. It’s awe-inspiring.
When the colors fade into the darkness, Easton runs back and lights another one. The cheers and hollers around us start up all over again.
“Stay here. I’m lighting another.” Logan squeezes my arm as he runs over to Easton to help him light some more fireworks. The music is drowned out by the booms and crackles, but the heavy bass still thumps through the ground.
Someone lit a fire nearby, and the smell of campfire mixed with fireworks swirls through my nose. I hear a grunt next to me, and my eyes widen as I turn around. My movements are stalled, the weed running through my system and making me feel lazy.