“Sorry, Rome must have voted yes,” Harley whispers, then mumbles something about not being asked.
“This is a good thing. I have no idea why you’re acting like you don’t want him,” Denver says.
“I saw you guys hugging at the lake.” Kingston cringes.
“Yes, because Palmer almost fell in the lake. Jamison caught her.”
“Rome and I bonded over Calista that time she cut herself,” Harley says. “Sometimes you have to share that fear to realize no two people love your kid as much as you guys.” She smiles. “But if you think you’re not ready, then don’t do it.”
“Harley, can I speak to you for a moment?” Grandma Dori asks.
Harley’s eyes roll and she stands.
“Oh, you’re in trouble,” Denver teases.
Marie shoots Denver a look to say get out of my shop.
“Why is everyone up in my business?” I ask.
Kingston slides over to where Harley was sitting. “Um… did you not grow up as a Bailey?” He twirls again in the chair.
I’m not sure any of us have grown up over the years.
Denver leans forward as Marie pushes my head so my chin touches my chest. “Honestly, are we not supposed to be on Team Scotland?”
His eyes make it clear this is a genuine question. I sigh. My body is weakening toward Jamison, and yes, Dr. Estes told me because I had a C-section, I don’t have to wait any longer if I feel ready. But it’s a big step.
“Oh please, we’re totally Team Scotland,” Kingston says. “You know you love him. He fucked up. Big time. But it’s not like he did it because he’s an asshole. He was tackling an addiction, and as far as I know, he’s clean and sober now. Why torment the guy any longer?” Kingston shakes my leg.
They’re lucky Phoenix is in Los Angeles right now. I’m sure she’d be up for explaining to them all why they’re wrong.
“Please stop touching her,” Marie says, lifting the scissors.
“Sorry, Marie.” Kingston smiles at her.
They’re right. It’s not like I’m against it anymore. It’s just been figuring out when the time is right. Every night when he leaves, I yearn for him to stay and share my bed with me, but I chicken out and don’t say anything.
“Let Stella and me take Palmer for the night,” Kingston offers.
“How come he always gets her? I’m her uncle too.” Denver swivels. Palmer is looking toward us, so he pats his leg. “Come here, Palmer.”
She shakes her head and grabs Calista’s hand.
“Man, I swear I’m the better-looking brother.” Denver sounds perplexed as to why his niece wouldn’t stop what she’s doing and race over to him.
Harley raises her hand. “Rome’s definitely the best-looking Bailey brother.”
Denver’s eyes narrow. “We’re identical twins, Harley. How do you figure?”
“I guess personality can make you more attractive.” She laughs.
Denver jumps up from the chair. Harley rushes away from him and puts Dion in front of her. Dion gets on the defense and puts up both hands as though he’s going to protect his mom. We all laugh, including Denver, who takes Dion from Harley and puts him over his shoulder.
“Sorry,” I mumble to Marie.
“It’s fine.” She smiles, looking through the mirror at the chaos behind her. “You’re all done. I’ll blow you out, then we’ll go do the wax.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“It’s not just about the man’s pleasure. It will make you feel beautiful too.” Marie pats my shoulders and steps away to grab some product to put in my hair.
She’s right—I need to feel beautiful. I look through the reflection of the mirror at my crazy family here for me. They’ll catch me if this goes south. Why keep myself from something I want just because of fear? He did make a mistake, a huge one, but it was a mistake just the same.
First things first though—I have to tell him about right after Palmer was born. He deserves to know I’m not so perfect either.
Twenty-Two
Jamison
At five-thirty sharp, I show up at Sedona’s door wearing a suit I bought from Mr. Johnson. Which reminds me, I have to figure out what to do with my condo and the rest of my stuff in New York.
I ring the bell and wait. Sedona opens the door, her dark hair cascading down in long spirals, her makeup done perfectly, and wearing a dress that covers everything but makes my hands itching to touch her.
“Hey,” she says.
“You look gorgeous.” I might as well be that pathetic dog with his eyes popped out of his head and his tongue hanging out. Sedona’s always beautiful whether she’s hungover or she’s dressed for a night out, but I haven’t seen her like this in a while.
“Thanks. I wish…” She shakes her head. “Are you ready?” Leaving me at the door, she swipes her purse from the small table by the door.
“Where’s Palmer?” I ask as she locks up her apartment.
“She’s with Kingston and Stella tonight.”
Although I miss seeing my little girl, having a night out with just Sedona more than makes up for it. “They’re all very hands-on with her. They don’t treat her deafness as something negative or leave her out because of it, huh?”
She side-eyes me as we walk down her stairs to the street below. “They’ve all been really good about including her. They do their best to communicate with her, but I hope she learns to read lips as she gets older. It will make life easier for her. I understand now why you’re always signing as you’re talking to her. That will help. I need to do that more.”
I open the building door that leads to the street and she slides by me. “It’s hard to remember to do it.”
I can’t give her parenting advice. She’s been at it for almost two years, and I’m still a newbie.
When I reach out to touch the small of her back, I retract my hand because we’re not a couple anymore. She glances at me as though she has the same thoughts. God, it’s excruciating being so close to her physically but so far emotionally.
“Your chariot awaits.”
“It’s a minivan.” She quirks her eyebrow.
I nod. “There’s a lot of room in the back should the mood arise.”
She smiles and says nothing, sliding into the passenger seat. It has to be a good sign that she didn’t take the opportunity to shut me down.
Once we’re settled in the car, my gaze strays to her shapely legs. Her legs are the part of her I love the most. When I came home late from traveling back from a game and her leg was peeking out from under the sheets, no matter how tired I was, I craved her. My vision skates along her body and I relish the memory of her underneath me.
Our eyes lock and she fidgets as though she’s remembering the same thing.
“I’m not the same,” she says.
Sedona and I always did communicate well without words. One look and we knew what the other was thinking.
“Yeah, you are.” I start the van and pull away from the curb.
She’s quiet for a moment. “Pregnancy changes your body. Now I have a C-section scar adding to what Palmer already did.”