“I’m interested in finding a two-bedroom apartment.” I tried to look solid and professional, but inside I was feeling giddy, and a little nauseous. Was I really doing this? Was I really moving beyond dreaming and researching my escape from August’s clutches to doing something about it?
“I happen to have two. I can show you one now, as it’s empty, but the layout is the same as the other one, which will be available next month. Do you have a time frame for moving?”
“As soon as possible.”
She went to a board where keys hung and took one down. “Well then, let’s go look at the one available now.”
She came around the desk as the door behind me opened. “Hi, welcome to Riverside Apartments. How can I help you?”
“I’m here about an apartment.”
I whipped around at the deep baritone voice. Jude. I almost didn’t recognize him. Well, that wasn’t quite true. I’d know him anywhere. I didn’t even have to look at him to know it was him. His voice. The scent of him. All that was the same. But the Jude I’d known growing up was a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. Now, he was wearing a crisp white shirt and charcoal gray slacks. I’d never seen him in a suit and I had to admit, it looked good on him. I realized that I still thought of him as the twenty-one year old who left to join the military and never came back. The Jude in front of me was a full-grown man. His shoulders were broader, his face leaner, his eyes sharper. My heart fluttered in my chest and I had to remind it that this was the guy who abandoned me and Maya.
“I was just going to show this woman a tour of the complex and a two-bedroom apartment. You can tag along if you like,” the leasing woman said, as she took a long look at Jude too.
“I only need one room,” he said, looking at me in an expression I couldn’t read. Had the two-bedroom comment given Maya away? No, I tossed that idea aside. He didn’t remember or care that I’d been pregnant. So more likely he was just surprised to run into me again. Surprised, but not in a good way if the impassive expression on his face was an indication.
“I’ll grab a key to one of our one-bedroom units too.” She went back to her board of keys, grabbing another one. “Shall we go?” She dangled the keys from her fingers as she walked past me with her gaze on Jude. “We’ve got many amenities like a gym. You look like you work out,” she said to him.
He nodded. “Yes. Is there a pool too? I swim as well.”
“Yes, we do. It has a hot tub, and we have a sauna too.”
I rolled my eyes as I realized she was wanting to get hot and sweaty with Jude. Of course, who could blame her. I wondered if I should tell her that he was good at hot and sweaty, but not to expect him to be there if she ever needed him.
“We also have a little playground if you have children.” She looked at me, but I didn’t respond. Jude didn’t say anything about it either, which proved that he’d forgotten he had a kid or didn’t care.
We followed her out of the leasing office and down walkway toward the end of the building. As we walked, she chatted about what was included and not included in the rent, but I wasn’t able to take it in. I was preoccupied by the fact that Jude was here. What were the odds that I’d run into him again? It was like God was playing a cruel joke on me. Maybe it was a sign that this was a bad idea.
But I couldn’t back out now. I’d see the apartment but not make any decision until I knew where Jude would end up. I needed to get out from under August’s control, but I didn’t want to do it in a place that Jude would be around. Whatever place I found for me and Maya needed to be away from them both.
7
Jude
Fate was totally fucking with me. Bismarck wasn’t so small that I should be running into April like this. Not when I finally decided it was time to let her go once and for all. Seriously, if we were meant to be, she wouldn’t have dumped my ass eight years ago. Or, when we saw each other again at the restaurant, it would have been like a scene from a romantic movie in which we confessed our love and lived happily ever after.
Instead, April acted indifferent to me at best, annoyed at the worst, which made no sense since she was the one who broke things off with me. Either way, I doubted she was having sexy dreams about me and wondering if maybe we could try again. Nope, that was my dumbass heart.
But didn’t I just decide that my heart was holding on to something that had died years ago? Yes, I did. So why was fate putting this beautiful woman in my path again? I was here to move forward with my future and put my past behind me. How could I do that with April here?
The minute I walked into the leasing office, the air changed in that way it always had when April was around. This time, because I was committed to forging ahead with my life, I wasn’t going to acknowledge it. I put on my war face and tried to pretend she was just another person looking to rent an apartment. Of course, that was easier said than done because her scent was intoxicating. She wore her hair down, and it hung in long luscious waves that my hands itched to touch. Just in case they had minds of their own, I shoved them into my pockets and focused on the leasing lady.
The leasing lady’s gaze inventoried my body and she made a few comments about working out and saunas that I knew were code for “I want to fuck you.” I wondered what April thought about that? Did she care that another woman was openly apprising me and liking what she saw? The woman was attractive and there was a time I might have taken her up on her implied offer. Before April, I’d dated a few girls that I’d fucked. I liked them, but it wasn’t until April that I understood what it meant to be in love. Or at least I thought I did. Perhaps I was just young and naïve. After April, I tried to move on, dating occasionally, but not really feeling a connection to them like I had with April. Eventually, I gave up looking for love. Except for an occasional hookup, my sex life consisted mostly of my hand in the shower. Although April and I were clearly done, it didn’t feel right to consider a hookup with the leasing lady, especially since the only woman my dick wanted to be inside was April. Again, fate was being such a jerk to me.
Pushing away thoughts of sex, I walked with April and the leasing woman down to an end unit. The leasing woman chatted away although I wasn’t sure what the hell she was saying because April’s scent wafted behind her, making me drunk with longing.
“Here is the two-bedroom unit,” the woman said, opening the door.
I wondered why April needed two bedrooms. Were she and August having financial troubles and moving? Did she have a significant other and needed extra space? I had to bite back a growl at that idea. Maybe she was going to have a roommate. I wondered if she was still friends with Petal.
“As you can see, its layout makes it quite spacious,” the woman said, turning on the light.
She was right. The entry walked into a hall. To the left was a galley kitchen and dining area at the far end of it. The hall opened into a decent sized living area, with French doors to a large patio that looked out over a grassy area.
The leasing agent’s phone beeped. “Excuse me, I need to check this. You two can look over the place and then I’ll show you the one-bedroom,” she said, motioning that she was going to stand outside.