I gaped at her, touched by her gesture. “You did? You talked to her?”
“On a couple occasions, yes. But your mother is something else, which is another reason why I want to propose something, Sarah.”
My mouth went dry. “Yes?”
“Your eighteenth birthday is in less than two months, and you’ll be able to leave your house then if you want. So I want you to come and stay with us.”
The significance of her words prevented me from finding the words easily. She perceived my silence as reluctance, so she was quick to assuage me.
“You don’t have to pay for anything, if that worries you. We don’t use the nursery, so you can stay there. We’ll just refurbish it the way you want it.” I still couldn’t say a word, my heart expanding with gratitude. “I don’t want you to feel pressured, dear, so you don’t have to answer me now. But think about it, okay? You’re family now.”
“So what do you think?” I asked Hayden after I recounted our conversation and he remained quiet for a long time.
He brushed his fingers across my cheek, and I glanced at him. I was met with a slight curve of his lips. “I’d love nothing more than that.” He pulled his hand away. “But it bothers me that I don’t know what her motive is now.”
“Motive?”
“Yes. Don’t you think it’s too much of a coincidence that she’s inviting you to move with us just when she’s trying to get in my good graces? I don’t want her to string us along.”
My heart squeezed. “I understand your mistrust and what you say is plausible, but I don’t think she has an ulterior motive. Hayden, she helped me a lot these last few weeks, especially during your stay in the hospital. She never asked for anything in return, and I can’t help but feel grateful. I never had something like this with my own mother. It feels unreal, only, it isn’t, and I don’t know how to repay her. She offered to let me stay in your home for free. That just shows how amazing she is.”
I cast another glance at him and bit into my lip when I noticed his pursed lips. He didn’t trust her, so it would be difficult for him to even begin to see her in a new light.
“Your life with her was hard and disappointing, and that’s putting it mildly. If I was in your place, I probably wouldn’t want to have anything to do with her too. But I’m speaking from the perspective of someone who sees how much she’s hurting right now. I do see she’s changed and feels guilty for favoring Kayden, and this is me saying this—someone who doesn’t believe others easily, just like you.”
I exited the highway and continued through the city to Route 44. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him run his hand down his face.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know anything. I’ve been trying to impress her for as long as I can remember, but I always received the same disappointed look. I never knew why I wasn’t good enough for her, and it was killing me day by day. I thought that if my own mother couldn’t accept me, how could anyone else?” His voice was strained, and it was painful to hear yet another testimony of the scars he bore from his childhood.
“She told me she’s accepted you, but you need to hear this from her. If you can let her explain herself... Maybe it will be easier for you to forgive her. I don’t know.” I exhaled loudly. “Her apology is late, yes, but better late than never. At least she’s trying, unlike my mother, so that counts for something, right? Just think about it.”
He began tapping his fingers against his thigh, staying silent for quite a while. Just as I decided to drop the subject, he said, “I’ll think about it.”
I grinned. “That’s great.”
“I said I’ll think about it. I didn’t say I’d forgive her, so wipe that smile off your face,” he bit back. As a response, I pecked a kiss on his cheek, and he twisted to look at me. “What was that for?”
“If you keep sulking, I’ll keep kissing you,” I said playfully and looked at him when he didn’t say anything.
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Some days, I wonder if you’re crazier than me,” he muttered.
I chuckled. “We’re a perfect match, right?”
“A match made in hell,” he mumbled back, definitely in the mood for arguing.
“Well, hell is hot, and since I hate the cold, I like the sound of it,” I retorted cheerfully just as I turned onto Route 44.
I could practically see him rolling his eyes. “Whatever.” He uncrossed his arms and started tapping his fingers against his thigh again. “I don’t trust her and I’m not sure if she really likes you or has hidden intentions, but let’s say I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. Anyway, it’s good she asked you to move to our house because I wanted that all along.” He covered my hand on the gear shift. “So? Will you move to our house after your eighteenth birthday?”
My pulse accelerated. I never thought the day would come when I would be given the opportunity to leave the toxic confinement that was my home and live with Hayden and his mom. In a way, everything was happening fast, and it sounded so good it almost felt like an illusion, like it would slip from my hands any moment.
Then again, I wanted this so much. I already spent most of my time in their house, so what would be the difference?
“I have to admit that even though our houses are right next to each other, it feels like I’d be moving to another part of town.” I said this in a cheerful tone, but I couldn’t stop my voice from trembling. I hadn’t even noticed that my hands had started to sweat.
“No need for you to be scared, Sarah,” he said, and his mellow voice soothed me. “I’ll take care of you and make you feel at home. Please, say you’ll move to my house. Please.”
I licked my dry lips. I knew this was important for him as much as it was important for me. I would be making a huge leap of faith, but I chose to believe in the positive outcome of my decision.
“Okay,” I replied excitedly. “I’ll move to your house after my birthday.”
“Yes!” He fist bumped the air and left a kiss on my cheek, grinning. “You’ll see. Everything is going to be all right.”
And in that moment, despite what might or might not happen in the next couple of days, I fully believed him.
HALF AN HOUR LATER on foot, we reached Kayden’s and my clearing. Several inches of snow covered the ground, making our trek more challenging, but unlike me, Hayden didn’t mind it. His mood had improved since I agreed to move to his house, and he kept teasing me about my red nose and cheeks, using every chance he got to throw snowballs at me.
“How can you be so happy when it’s freezing?” I complained, hugging myself. My chattering teeth were more proof of how terribly cold I felt. As if following a cue, a strong gush of cold wind hit us, and I grabbed Hayden’s arm, pressing myself against him as close as possible.
“I’m happy because you’re funny. You’re acting like you’re going to die any moment.”
“You’re such a sadist! What if I die from hypothermia?”
“We won’t be here long enough for you to get it, so stop being overdramatic.”