Alaric holds perfectly still, watching me with those clear blue eyes. “You’re going to have to clarify what you’re getting at because I don’t understand.”
I take a deep breath. “What I’m saying is that I understand why you did what you did. I’m not giving you a free pass, but I get it. If I were in your position, I can’t say with any confidence that I wouldn’t do exactly the same thing. It wasn’t personal.”
“Zuri.”
I really should remind him that he’s not a friend and only my friends call me that. It feels like a lie, though. I turn, and Alaric catches my hands. He’s still moving stiffly, but his grip isn’t weak. He gives me a light squeeze. “If I’d known you, I never would have agreed to play things out this way. I like you, and you deserve better than to play the part of a pawn.”
“Yes, I do.” I look down at our joined hands. “I’m still very angry, but it’s all mixed up in other feelings. It’s confusing.”
“Welcome to spending time with Ursa.” He chuckles. “It will be okay. It’s only tonight and another five days.”
The reminder feels like it’s weighing down my entire body. “Right. Five days.” Only a fool would beg to stay beyond that. As Ursa said, she’s leaving me better off than she found me. At least materially.
It doesn’t change the fact that I’ve sacrificed everything for people who will move on with their lives together and forget that I ever existed.
Chapter 21
Alaric
I’m doing a shit job of comforting Zuri. It’s like following the steps to a dance I’ve never heard of, and I’m fumbling it. I take a deep breath. “Look, I’m not good at this.”
“I never would have guessed.” She arches one of those perfectly shaped brows. “Though you’re going to have to be more specific about what you mean this time.”
That startles a chuckle out of me. “You know, you always surprise me when you slide in the knife like that.”
Zuri blinks those big dark eyes. “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I almost let it go, but there’s still something brittle in her that I can’t leave alone. “I’ve been on my own since I was a teenager. My mom was…” How to describe Maura Paine. “She’s one of those people that shouldn’t have had kids. She was driven out of Sabine Valley when she chose my father over her family, and then the bastard barely stuck around long enough to knock her up. He left her alone to raise me in a city that wasn’t hers.”
“I’m sorry.”
I wave that away. “I don’t want your pity. I’m just trying to explain. I was on my own a lot growing up, and I learned that the best person to look out for what I wanted was me. I made my way well enough, but when she asked me to do this one thing that might make her happy, that might get her back in with her family…” I shrug. “I did it, even though it was reckless and dangerous. I didn’t look for another way to make that money. I wanted the task complete and her out of my life, so I went the fastest route to the money. And I paid the price.”
She wraps her arms around herself. We’re standing here shivering in the bathroom while the tub fills. This is ridiculous. I hold out a hand. “Come here, Zuri.”
I don’t really expect her to obey. She’s told me she hates me more times in the last two days than I want to count. She won’t forgive me, and I can’t really claim I deserve her forgiveness. Why the hell would she accept this from me?
But Zuri finally slips her hand into mine and lets me tug her close and wrap my arms around her. We’re naked and I can’t quite stifle my physical response, but this isn’t about sex right now. “I’m an asshole, Zuri. I’m never not going to be an asshole. But I regret that you got hurt in the process, and that’s the truth.”
She carefully lays her cheek against my chest. “I’m still angry, but I can’t pretend it’s just because you lied.” She gives a shuddery little sigh that’s too close to a sob for my liking. “I’m just a little overwhelmed.”
I rest my chin on her head. “I don’t think Ursa plans to just kick you to the curb without helping you out a little. Even if she does, I’ll make sure you land on your feet.” It hurts to say the words. It’s only been two days with this woman, but I feel like we’ve shown each other more truths in the last forty-eight hours than we did the entire time we were dancing around that bullshit back in Olympus. Zuri isn’t only a sweet, biddable daughter, wreathed in innocence. She’s strong and a little mean and rolls with the punches better than I could have imagined. I like her.
I like her more than I could have anticipated.
Ursa walks back into the room, her hair hidden beneath a floral head wrap and a silky purple robe tied around her body. She arches an eyebrow at me. “The tub’s half full. Get in, darlings.”
I guide Zuri up the few steps and into the tub. The water is hot enough to make my breath hiss out, but after the first shock of it, it feels amazing. Maybe I should let go of her, but I pull her down into my lap as I settle. I half expect Zuri to tell me where to shove it, but she settles back against me with a little sigh.
Ursa gives us a long look. “You were both very serious when I came back in here.”
Zuri tenses, but I answer first. “I told her that we wouldn’t just kick her to the curb as soon as the seventh day is finished. Even with all that money, she’s in a new city where she doesn’t know anyone. The very least we can do is make sure she gets where she’s going or help her find a place in Carver City if she’s staying here.” I can’t quite stop myself from holding Zuri closer. Fuck, I’m not ready to let her go.
Five days. Really, more than five days because we still have tonight. In the past, a week has been more than enough time for me to get anyone out of my system. Working at the Underworld, having my deal with Hades, it was like heaven the first few years. I loved the work, loved scening and fucking the most powerful and beautiful people in Carver City. It wasn’t until later that the novelty started to wear thin. I have no qualms with playing the delightful toy, but that’s all I was to them. That’s all I’d ever be.
Until Ursa. It started off as simply sex with her, just like with everyone else, but somewhere along the way we both forgot to maintain a careful distance. Somewhere along the way, we fell for each other.
Something strange passes over Ursa’s face, but she finally nods. “Of course we’ll see Zurielle safely to wherever she’s landing. It’s no hardship.”
“Thank you.” I don’t have to see Zuri’s face to know that she’s speaking through her teeth. At a faint nod from Ursa, I move Zuri, shifting her around until she’s straddling me. She allows it, but she’s frowning as she settles back onto my lap. “What are you doing?”
“You’re unhappy.”
“Thank you for telling me how I feel.”
I kind of enjoy the fact that she saves this tartness just for me. Ursa gets the sweet and I get the sour, and I like Zuri’s duality on that note a whole hell of a lot. I lean back a little against the jets and rest my hands on her hips. “Last night, you couldn’t wait for this week to be over and for you to be free of us. Now you tense up every time we bring it up.”