“What are you talking about?” The Devil had already forged a bargain involving Kanika? I narrowed my eyes, turned my ears back, and growled.
“Please do not fret. There is nothing amiss with my brother’s bargain. If anything, he is intrigued by what was offered to him. Kanika’s father cannot tend to her for important and good reasons. As such, he bargained with my brother so that she might, after she turns twenty, have a divine eye guarding her. My brother does not yet understand he has stepped onto the path of becoming a father, although he has comprehended he will have some of the burdens and responsibilities of fatherhood. My brother is as dense as he is vain. He is quite amused over the situation, and He looks forward to watching his fallen son step onto a new path.”
“Being a father is more than donating sperm.”
“Precisely. My brother is limited in some regards, and he forgets this—or he simply does not understand what he has believed he can never experience.”
“I saw her first.”
“This is true. My brother has not seen her, nor will he for some years. The first time he is forced to move to protect her, my brother will discover emotions he had not believed himself capable of. I will enjoy spying on my brother and watching his latest fall.”
“Finders keepers,” I announced.
“Bargains do not work this way. He must fulfill his obligations.”
“She’s still mine. I saw her first.”
Michael laughed. “Then you will have to move forward with your plans to conquer my brother. That would make what is his yours, correct?”
“Absolutely.”
“Many have tried to conquer my brother since he fell, and all have failed. What makes you think you will succeed?”
“Well, if knocking on his door and asking nicely doesn’t work, I’ll figure something out.”
“You plan on knocking on his door and asking nicely?” the archangel asked.
I giggled at the astonishment in his tone. “Well, that seems like the polite thing to do. It’d be rude to just completely go storming the place. I figure I’ll ask first, listen when he inevitably starts doing what he does, and go from there. I’ll refuse his generous offers to bargain, though. I’m not asking to bargain with him. I’m going to be telling him to do it because he’s not completely awful.”
“I am not certain of your chances of success, as I do not wish to ruin this surprise. I wish to behold his face myself when you do just this.”
“Does that mean you’ll take me there? Honestly, I called you for directions on how I might storm his gates. I don’t even know where to start getting there.”
“I can take you there, but my brother gets somewhat cranky when I step foot into his domain. He is not permitted to act unless I act against him. Bringing a soul to him is not acting against him.”
“You’re bringing my whole body with the soul, right? I don’t know a lot about this, but I do know I need my soul.”
“Yes, you do need your soul.”
“Having an archangel for backup might be good. If I’m storming his gates with an archangel as backup, he might take me more seriously. Hey, do you happen to have any other brothers who would come along just for the joy of watching me storm the place?”
“As a matter of fact, yes. I could ask Gabriel, and I am certain he would enjoy watching you storm the gates and do your best to conquer our brother.”
“I’m accepting any free advice you might have for me to do this right. After paying for the monitoring bills for Kanika, I’m going to be beyond poor, and I still need to put together the cash for my idiot brother and secure revenge on those assholes. You hadn’t been joking about them, had you? I found a letter with rose petals in my mailbox, and I was invited to meet with some dumbfuck, who wishes for me to showcase my best assets. I’m assuming he wants me to dress up like I’m easy. I’m really not.”
“I recommend you inquire with my brother on your apparel for such a venture.”
“Which one?”
“The one you wish to conquer.”
“Do I want to know why?”
“He is as good at dressing women as he is at undressing them. It is one of his flaws. Should you conquer him, be aware he will wish to dress and undress you often. It is his nature, however flawed that nature may be. I am a benevolent being, and I feel I should warn you about what you face.”
I considered my situation. “You said he has the powers of an incubus?”
“He has the powers of all demons and devils. That is part of who and what he is. So, yes. He has even more control over those abilities than incubi. Succubi are wary around him, because his powers surpass theirs. He does not indulge in women often despite his reputation. You might call him frustrated.”
Hello. “Are you saying the Devil is sexually repressed?”
“Yes.”
I twisted around and considered my plush and perfect tail. “Am I his type?”
“You are a woman. All women are his type. You will find him a determined hunter should you capture his attention, but he enjoys the game almost as much as the prize. He only chooses to use his incubi powers once he has won the game, as he loses if he has to cheat to interest a woman enough to join him in his bed. That is his angelic nature coming into play.”
“You’re very helpful for an archangel. I really thought you all were above such easy help. How do I thank you?”
“No thanks are needed but your consideration is appreciated. It is like this, Darlene. I do love my brother despite his fallen state. You have enough will to withstand me in the flesh. If you can withstand me in the flesh, you can withstand my brother. He does not want a woman he will inevitably break and mourn for all eternity. But I warn you, storming his gates will have consequences for you.”
“All things have consequences,” I replied, well aware of the consequences I would pay for my brother’s crimes. “That’s why I’m talking to you in the first place.”
“When do you wish to act?”
While tired, I doubted I’d be able to sleep with the inevitability of paying the Devil a visit looming over me. “There’s no time better than the present. I just need to grab my brother.”
“I will impress upon him he should stay close to you, as his cage would inevitably melt. Do not expect your first meeting with my brother to go as you hope. He enjoys playing with his prey.”
I smiled. “I’m not prey.”
“This shall be fun. I will arrive soon with my brother, and we will escort you to our brother’s door. Unless you are the luckiest—or perhaps unluckiest—of mortals, I expect we will be escorting you home shortly after.”
“And that’s fine. It wouldn’t be fun if he gave in without putting up a fight for me. But then again, who knows? Perhaps he will enjoy having a woman run his hells for a while. By for a while, I mean however long is necessary for little Kanika to grow up and need a proper family in her life.”
“I feel I should warn my brother of what I bring to his door.”
I laughed. “You could warn him, but would he believe you?”
“I am an archangel, Darlene. I cannot lie.”
“He can know you speak the truth without believing a word you say. That’s how you lie without lying, isn’t it? You tell him a truth so absurd he can’t believe it, thus forgetting you’re incapable of lying. Thus you deceive him with nothing but the truth. You can also choose to withhold important bits of information. For example, I will not tell your brother I’m planning on taking over his domain for personal reasons, leading him to believe I’m selfishly working only to restore my brother to a sentient form. I understand human might be a stretch. But sentient rather than rodent would be an improvement.”