“I know,” I repeat.
He looks down at my hands in my lap, watching my fingers nervously fiddling with one another before swinging his stare back up to me. “There’s also a lot I didn’t know and…” He clenches his jaw. “… I wish I would have known then. Like—”
The sound of a phone going off bursts our bubble, and his face falls, not in surprise, but as if he knew our time would eventually be up.
He pulls his phone from his pocket and answers without looking. I turn away.
“Hi Kris… Yeah, I am… No, it’s okay. I’m on my way… No-no, it’s fine. Meet me at the car.”
Ow. That also hurt more than I anticipated. When he hangs up, I release the breath I was holding.
“I have to go.” He leans over the Ferris wheel, putting two fingers in his mouth, and blows out a loud whistle to the operator below. The Ferris wheel soon begins to swing downward.
I nod, forcing a smile through pursed lips, wrapping my arms around my chest. “No problem.”
“Me and you will talk more, but we gotta be up early in the morning.”
We, he said we. He means he and his girlfriend.
They are we, Caiden and Kristen, and instead, he and I are singular, separate entities.
“It’s okay. Early plans?” I ask, and I try not to say this through clenched teeth.
“Oh, uh, she has to drive back home.”
I cringe when I realize she’s staying the night, but then something else dawns on me as we make it to the bottom. “She doesn’t live here?”
He shakes his head, climbing out of the basket, and I follow, tension riddling its way into my shoulders while my heartbeat picks up pace.
“No,” he says, and when he stops his strides after five steps, as if struck with what might be going through my head, he says, “Her parents live here, but she lives in Denver for school.” He swivels around slowly, the angles of his eyebrows pointing downward.
That’s over three hours away.
I gulp down his solemn look. “You’re in a long-distance relationship with her?” I ask.
There’s no hiding the hurt in my voice. He might be pissed off that I made a choice he wishes I hadn’t long ago, but I’m instantly damaged by the fact he’s in a long-distance relationship that he didn’t once consider having with me. Granted, a car ride versus a plane ride is very different, but still.
His lack of response is too much, and he’s still just standing and staring. I shrug to fill the silence, as if to excuse my incoming behavior as I reply sternly, “Good night, Caiden.” I turn around and walk the opposite direction, feeling like I need space. Lots of it now.
I think I hear my name, but I choose not to care.
Chapter Seven
I hurt.
There’s no better way to describe it.
I cried when I got home, and I cried when I woke up this morning.
I don’t remember crying this much since leaving this town.
Everything sucks. I feel sideswiped by the night.
My tears involve many things, including my mom. I moved a photo of her from the mantel and placed it on the coffee table so I could be closer to it as I slept. I might have even talked to it a few times.
Leaving is getting easier and easier to fathom. This time it almost feels like running away, but I convinced myself after a few pages of writing that I don’t belong anymore. Last night made that clear. I’m the last Elwood in town, and maybe it’d be better if I left the legacy with my mom and vanished all over again.
The sudden sound of tires outside causes my body to propel off the couch as if caught red-handed with my thoughts. It’s already eleven in the morning, and I run to a mirror in the hall worried my puffy, tear-stained face will give me away. I scurry to the kitchen sink, splashing water on my face.
I hear a knock at my front door, and I’m terrified who it might be.
“Baby Bird, let’s go swimming!”
I cringe when I hear Brandon’s voice and then the tight giggle of CeeCee that follows.
“Go away!” I shout as I enter the living room, seeing both of them beyond the screen door.
CeeCee hates the immediate rejection and opens the unlocked door. “You don’t mean that.”
I nod. “Oh, yeah I do.”
CeeCee looks over her shoulder at Brandon, both seemingly confused.
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
“Everything. Last night sucked, and you both are a bit at fault.”
“Blame Caiden,” Brandon adds to the conversation.
“Why? Because he has a girlfriend? Newsflash: it doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t care. I know it naturally sucks, and it’s weird for all of us, especially me, but I’ve been gone a long time. It would be weird if he didn’t move on. Let’s be honest.”
Brandon’s brows knit together. “Do you have a boyfriend in LA?”
“No.”
“That’s weird.”
I screech a sound of frustration, but I can’t tell if it’s a sigh or a scream. Either way, I resemble a banshee. “No, it’s not. I’ve been focusing on my career. Sometimes success comes with isolation. I’m okay with that.”
Brandon’s eyebrows expressively rise. “Are you sure about that?”
“Yes.”
CeeCee jabs him in the shoulder. “Go wait outside!”
“What?” he whines.r
“Now. I need to talk to Hailey. Go wait in my Jeep.”
Brandon looks pissed. He rolls his eyes, shaking his head as if this moment won’t be forgotten before he treks out the door. It’s then I notice his flip-flops and red swim trunks matched with a plain white shirt. Very unlike his normal attire. What time is it again?