CeeCee wasn’t lying when she said it was my favorite. I loved the atmosphere of those parties. All my best memories lie in the dancing shadows of the fire with good friends, drinking, and laughter. Not to mention, all of those forbidden memories of sneaking off with Caiden. I tell myself I can appreciate the memories, but to not put misplaced meaning in them any longer.
As we come to a stop, parking in between two large pine trees, the shore only a couple hundred feet away in the clearing, I look around the open dirt spot.
“Where’s Cam and Tyler?”
“Working the station,” Brandon finally speaks, clambering out of the vehicle. “But Caiden should be getting off soon and heading over.”
My good mood dissolves. I wasn’t sure he’d be here, and the mention of his name rattles my nerves. I got to express my anger with CeeCee and cleared that up, but I haven’t been able to check Caiden off that list, and I wonder if I ever will.
I need to remember to ask more questions when I decide to go places in this town.
“Oh,” I chirp.
“Help me with the barbecue, will you?”
I agree, but CeeCee comes into view as if reading the shift in my demeanor. “Don’t worry, Hails. We got it. Why don’t you just go set up and lounge over on the shore? You could use a moment to chill.”
I huff, peering up at the sun hanging in the middle of the sky, feeling the warmth over my skin and the fact I do so desperately need to chill.
“Okay. I’m gonna go be cranky over there.”
She nods. “Fine by me.”
I lay out my blanket and lie down. It takes only a few minutes until I feel myself nodding off to the sounds of the slow lapping waves of the lake twenty feet away, blending with the sounds of CeeCee and Brandon bickering over how to light the barbecue. It’s my quiet chuckles to myself that keep me awake.
It isn’t until I hear a truck and burly hellos that sound like someone I could do without today that my body goes rigid. I keep my eyes closed and let myself bake in the sun, hoping to be ignored for a little bit longer, but alas, wishful thinking.
When I feel a body lie down next to me, the thick bare arm of a man touching mine, I tense. I don’t need to guess whose confidence knows no bounds, but I’m not in the mood.
I can even sense the heavy weight of his stare, and it has me feeling uneasy. I sit up abruptly, my eyes flying open. I’m about to speak, but a shirtless Caiden does something to the synapses in my brain. I wasn’t ready for this.
He’s all lean muscle and tan everywhere. The sprinkling of hair that trails from his belly button to below the waistband of his navy blue swim trunks renders me speechless. His arms are the only things tatted so densely with images of nature, stopping at the curve of his shoulders, leaving the skin of his abdomen smooth and inviting.
Normally, he’d probably gloat at my open gawking, but I realize he’s doing the same to me.
His synapses must have backfired, too, because he blurts out incoherently, “Tiny. Bikini.”
I freeze and grab for my oversized knit cover-up, pulling the holey white material over my body in a frantic jumble. I might have chosen this black string bikini with that exact reaction in mind, but to actually get it in the flesh has me turning red everywhere.
“Stop staring.”
“You’re mad,” he says, regaining his wits.
I release a sigh, wishing I could roll him off my blanket. “Mad?” I ask, toying with the word. “I don’t know what I am. Please let me fester before I say things I don’t mean. Today is not a good day to mess with my emotions, Caiden. I’m warning you now.”
I keep replaying the events of the night before in my head and find more wrongs than rights.
He sits up, too, and I hate it only defines the ridges of his abdominal muscles.
“Is this about last night?”
I shift, my annoyance growing exponentially.
“Did CeeCee or Brandon send you here?”
He shakes his head. “No. For the most part I tell them me and you are an off-limits topic.”
I wish I could say that to our friends, because they keep testing my limits, too.
“Then what is it?”
“I wanted to apologize for not mentioning the memorial thing. I’ve been thinking about it, and I feel terrible—but you handled it like a champ.” His reflexive smile and nudge of my arm sends a confusing combination of rocketing electricity to each limb but also has my guts knotting.
I abruptly stand, letting out a high-pitched huff as I do. “I don’t care if you think I handled it like a champ. I don’t want to improv the memory of my mother in front of the whole town. I slept on it, and it was incredibly disrespectful of you.”
He rises, his brows knit tight as he watches me like a cornered wild animal.
“I’m sorry,” he says slowly. “I get how wrong that was. I was wrong, Hailey,” he repeats for emphasis, as if knowing how much I like hearing it. “I meant to tell you the day before, but like always, I don’t think so straight when I’m near you.”
I hate that his words are caramel smooth and sincere.
I cross my arms over my chest, unsure how to respond because gratefulness is not an emotion I am capable of expressing right now, especially when his eyes keep trailing over my body.
This afternoon is off to a terrible start, and I feel a bit erratic, but I can’t rein in these feelings anymore.
Unfortunately, Caiden finds the need to continue. “I know last night must have been a lot to handle.”
I shake my head. “I handled my mom’s thing, and as far as everything else, everyone needs to stop treating me like this. Don’t apologize for having a girlfriend, and no one should be babying my existence when I’m around you. I’m stronger than that.”
“I know you are. You’ve made that abundantly clear… at least to me.”
It’s almost a compliment. A smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. “Then just let me deal with all this on my own, okay? No more apologies now. I’m fine. Just give me space.”