Every way, we’d fit without flaw.
Her body was my kingdom come.
Her divine kiss was my salvation.
Her soul was mine’s paradise.
Mia was my evermore.
And I’d known since the moment my soul felt hers.
My lungs shrunk as my heart shook in her name.
“Mia’s holding up, that one. You’d be proud of those girls, you know. Her and Bria spent the summer organizing a support group for girls suffering from sexual abuse. She’s been keeping busy, that’s for sure.”
Freeing a steady breath, I smiled. Mia was okay—a temporary fix until I could see her.
“It’s a shame what happened,” she added.
And just like that, my smile dissolved. “What do you mean?”
“The bullying against her, Dean Lynch didn’t tell you?”
“Bria?” Don’t say my girl’s name, Rhonda.
“Mia. Found the dead cat herself right under her bed last week,” she snipped another layer of hair as it fell at the corner of my eye, “Poor girl has been through enough.”
My fingers gripped the arms of the chair, and the ache twisted into anger. She had to be mistaken. Mia had never gone out of her way to upset anyone, at least not since I’d found her. “Has she had any meltdowns? Made visits in here or solitary since I left?”
Was she still the same light-brown eyed girl?
Was she still my Mia?
“No, as I said, she’s been doing real good,” she sighed and tousled my hair, “alright, you’re good for a fortnight. Time to hit the shower.”
Jerry, the bald guard, came back with my belongings in a trash bag, and I spent my shower thinking of Mia, trying to control my emotions at all costs.
I needed to see her.
But not like this.
My hands ran up and down my face over and over under the water, in an attempt to drown out the slow-building rage inside me.
Someone had targeted Mia.
My clothes had been washed, and I slipped into my gray pants and black tee, feeling more like my old self, though the spells of sickness still loitered inside me and my emotions grew after each passing second. Rhonda checked me over before Jerry walked me back to my dorm.
“This isn’t my dorm,” I stated, standing in front of Mia’s door beside Jerry.
Jerry didn’t bother with an explanation as he unlocked the door and turned the knob. The door swung open, and a gust of new memories engulfed me. Swirling the memories I’d buried deep in my subconscious.
The padded walls had been removed.
A desk sat against the wall on the right.
A bed complete with headboard and footboard welcomed me.
“Where is the girl that was here before?” I asked, my gaze touching every place I’d made love to her. There. There. And there.
“Hell if I know. This isn’t my wing. I’m on third,” Jerry said and gave me a nod. “Don’t forget, dinner at five-thirty.”
Then the door closed behind him, leaving me to fend for myself against the pictures inside my head. After dropping my bag on the floor, I sat at the edge of the bed and closed my eyes. It was all too much. Nausea whipped around in my stomach, anguish seeped through my pores and stabbed every part of me, and above all, I was bloody exhausted. The clock above the door read lunch had passed, and she would be with Dr. Conway for another forty minutes.
Collapsing over the mattress, I closed my eyes.
Unavoidable images of her lying under me, light brown hair sprawled across the pillow while her hips swayed in eagerness to be filled flashed like a movie. I remembered her supple pink lips turn raw from the damage mine had done while the rest of her shook under the pleasure I gifted her. Watching her come undone while still inside her, being a part of it, the purpose of it, the pulsating …
Mia...
Over three hours had passed before my eyes sprang to life. Rolling into a sitting position over the side, I ran my palms through my shorter hair and down my face. Every cell, muscle, and vein pounded against my skull as the rest of my body shivered in the bitter abandonment of Mia and the pills.
I could only choose one.
The pills were a necessary evil right now.
But Mia was my endgame.
I tilted my head, and the room swayed around me as I tried to find the clock. Dinner was almost over. Bringing myself to my feet, I jumped up and down on my toes to bring myself to life and wake the fuck up.
The last thing I wanted was for her to see me like this, but we didn’t have much time. It wouldn’t be long before I’d be back to the heartless asshole, and right now, all I wanted was to see her eyes. I needed to make sure she was still with me. I wanted to feel her touch, kiss her lips, and have her eyes on me. My feelings for her flowed from my pumping heart to the rest of my body, screaming out for her.
On the verge of an utter breakdown, I left the dorm and shuffled down the hall, looking like hell, I was sure. The closer I made it to the mess hall, the more my nerves twisted with bashing thoughts. Did she hate me? Did she forget about me? Did she ever want to see me again after I all-knowingly pushed her away?
It wasn’t me that day. She had to have known that.
With every step closer to the mess hall, my soul felt like it was one step ahead of me, leaving my body only wanting to be closer to hers. Adrenaline pumped, keeping my body up with my eager soul.
I paused just before the entryway and leaned my shoulder against the separating wall, keeping my eyes on the swirling marble below and drawing in a deep breath.
I turned the corner, counted to three, and looked up.
My eyes immediately went to her.
A full smile appeared on her face, and her beautiful brown eyes squinted as she waved whatever Jake said away with her hand. A million emotions filtered through me, and my hand fell over the wall to hold me steady from the chaotic rush. It all happened at once, everything I’d told her about—the air left my lungs, an ache pierced my heart, the pounding in my head, the lightning in my eyes. I screwed my eyes shut, thinking it would keep me from falling apart, but it was no use. When I opened them again, she found me from across the room and tears sprang in my eyes.
Her entire expression changed, no longer smiling and laughing like she was moments before, and it was because of me. Mia stumbled to her feet, and I pushed off the cement, wanting to run to her, but needed her alone.
She would follow me.
Turning, I walked in the opposite direction to the community bathroom where we first exchanged words almost a year ago. My hands shook as my body drained with each step until I was behind the door. My back fell against the tile near the door.
She would come.
Then the door opened, and my body reacted instantly. My arms wrapped around Mia’s waist, pulling her into me. Her smell whipped around my senses, the scent of coconut blended with jasmine in the spring rain.
Her face pressed against my chest as she held me tight, her small shoulders shook as she cried silently in my shirt. The last thread holding me together snapped and I broke down. My breath released in a staggered rush and tears outpoured as my cheek pressed against her head.
My nervous hand ran through her hair and held the back of her head, pinning her against me. Perfection. I kissed the top of her head, her forehead, her wet cheek. Her grip around me tightened, and my hands moved to the sides of her face, and I tilted her chin to see her eyes.
Golden-brown and beautiful.