“You’re on your own, Jett,” Ethan shook his head, “Just know, I’m not picking you up this time.” He pulled the handle to the bathroom open hard enough to send the door flying against the wall.
Ollie looked down at me, his green eyes blazing, and his muscles tensed to control whatever thoughts strained his mind. “I would ask what that was all about, but I’m not sure if I want to know,” Ollie muttered, and dropped his free arm over my back to pull me close.
My arms wrapped around his torso. There was a slight tremor in his hand as he rubbed up and down my back. “You need to see the nurse, Ollie,” I tilted my head up to see his face, “You don’t look so good.”
Ollie shook his head as a student entered the bathroom, then his head rolled back as another girl followed in behind. Both student’s eyes swept over us briefly as they passed by.
“Come on, let’s go to my room before the auto-lock sweep.” He grabbed my hand and led me out of the bathroom and down the corridor through a crowd walking to their nightly shower routine. He approached my old room, and before opening, he looked down at me with the paper towel held over his nose. “Out of all the rooms here, they put me in this one.”
“You got my room?”
He nodded, then pushed the door open.
Stumbling, Ollie fell back against the mattress and tilted his head up over the pillow with a low moan. He waved me over to lay next to him. “Please, I’m going to pass out any second.”
This whole disposition wasn’t like him. “Are you sick? What’s going on with you?”
“I’m just not in a good place right now,”—he turned to face me— “Please, come here. The last thing you owe me is your forgiveness, but your distance is killing me worse than how I’m feeling right now.”
No matter how angry I was with him, my body wasn’t. Like a reflex, my feet move forward, my knees hit the mattress, and in no time, I melded to his side. He pulled the paper towel away and threw it to the end of the bed before swiping his fingers under his nose to see if the bleeding had stopped. When he realized it had, he turned over and nuzzled his face into my neck.
Though my brain hadn’t quite caught up fully on everything that just happened within the last twenty minutes, I finally let go of a breath. I was finally home. Though this home was different, yet all the same like a fresh coat of paint. My heart didn’t know the difference, but my hands ran through his sweaty hair and over his trembling skin. His shirt was damp while his breathing was shaky. “Are you on your medication?” I hesitantly asked, afraid of the next words he would say.
“I wasn’t then I went back on them today. It’s the withdrawals until they hit my system. I can’t think straight. I’m sorry,” his fingers dug into my waist as his body quivered through the dark spell, “I’m so sorry, Mia. I’m a bloody mess right now…” each word muffled by his refusal to leave my neck, “I don’t know what to do anymore.”
For months, I thought about the moment of us re-uniting, but being the one comforting him never crossed my mind. His hot body shivered in my hold, while his breath, lips, and sweat all soaked my neck. I rocked him as a soft and hardly inaudible mantra of “I’m sorry’s” flowed from his lips until he fell asleep. It didn’t take long, and after he was out, my own mixed and confused tears freed from their private prison.
I cried because he was back, and those happy tears mixed with the sad ones—sad ones because he was riding an emotional rollercoaster, and I knew from experience what it was like, but this was one I couldn’t fix.
If what he said was correct, it meant it was only a matter of time before he’d turn right back into the unreachable asshole who left me in the hallway seven months ago.
Zeke stared at me from across the table during breakfast the following morning. He seemed to be in a good mood, and I wondered if he somehow picked up on Ollie’s energy and knew of his return. I didn’t dare tell him—not yet, anyway. If Ollie was back to only leave at the hands of oblivion, I preferred preserving Zeke’s hopes.
In a year, our table had grown from only the two of us, to now Zeke, myself, Bria, Jake, and Tyler. Ollie used to sit beside me, and I wondered if he’d find his way back to my table or his old one which was now occupied by Maddie, Jude, and Gwen.
“You’re quiet this morning,” Bria said, sitting one chair over from Zeke. “Up all night again?”
I shook my head. “Surprisingly, I slept all night. First time in months.” And it was odd. For seven months, without fault, I’d woken from terrors without remembering what they were ever about. But the night of Ollie’s return, I slept peacefully. There was no such thing as coincidences.
“Then what’s got your knickers in a twist?”
Ethan’s gaze caught my attention behind Bria by the doorway, and he glanced away. “Nothing, just one of those mornings.” They would all find out eventually, hopefully after I’d come to terms with it. Returning my attention back to my uneaten tray, I wondered what this all meant when Tyler slammed her fist over the table.
“Dibs!” she shouted.
Zeke flinched, and I snapped my head in her direction beside me. “Watch it, Ty. You’re going to freak him out.”
“I call dibs,” she said again, pointing in the direction toward Ethan.
Looking back over, Ollie stood before Ethan, shaking Ethan’s hand. My helpless smile stretched across my face. Ollie fixed his black tee down over his joggers and turned to head in our direction. When our eyes met, the recognizable bright green beamed, and his hair was back in its usual tidal wave.
“Oh … my … god,” she sighed in awe. “Who is that guy?”
“Ollie!” Bria squealed as she jumped out of her chair.
It didn’t take long before Ollie’s arms were around Bria, then Jake, and even Gwen as she rushed over. Ollie’s eyes never left mine as he swiftly got through everyone, and I couldn’t help but beam as he greeted his friends.
“Zeke,” Ollie nodded his head over to him as he came up behind me. Familiar arms wrapped around my waist, and his head dropped into my neck. “My love.”
“Hold up,” Bria said, pointing at me. “You knew he was back?”
Ollie took the empty chair between me and the window. “Only got in yesterday.”
“So, you’re not available…” Tyler mumbled to no one.
“Good question, I’m not sure,” Ollie squeezed my thigh, “Mia, am I available?” Turning to face him, he flashed me a smug smile. “Is it you and I, or are we shagging other people?”
I narrowed my eyes, trying to process what he’d said. The three words that stuck were, “I’m not sure.” Even the suggestion of fucking other people should have stuck, but it didn’t. Since the day I’d met Ollie, he had always been certain. He’d never questioned what we had, and those three words were a reminder there was a morsel of the guy who left me crying on my knees in the hallway seven months ago still inside him.
“I’m not sure,” I said, matching his uncertainty with a shrug but pain cut through each word. The truth was, I was sure. I just wasn’t sure which guy was sitting in front of me. Was it the guy I fell in love with, or the guy who left me stranded? That day haunted me ever since, and it didn’t help the fact I had to walk down the same hall every damn day and relive the moment over and over again.