Ollie had gotten to him.
The same way Ollie always got to me.
We’d fallen asleep, and when I’d woken a few hours later, Ethan’s hand had traveled down to my inner thighs, softly gripping as he mumbled in his sleep. His hard erection had pressed into the space between my legs. I had every reason to wake him up and pull away, starting with the most important reason—Ollie—but I couldn’t.
I desired to be needed and wanted by Ethan in an unhealthy way that never made sense to me. So, I’d fallen back to sleep, allowing his hands to roam and length to stay as he repeated words in my ear I couldn’t piece together.
Each night after that had been the same routine—Ethan and I not on speaking terms, but his hands on claiming terms. I’d fallen asleep in his warmth, pretending it was Ollie. It always had been easier to pretend, and Ethan continued to touch me in his sleep like he had something to prove.
“Every year we dress as Morticia and Gomez Addams from the Addams family. The newer generation of kids don’t get it, but it’s a hoot with the parents,” Dr. Conway rambled on as my attention steered back to the boring conversation.
“Nice,” I faked an interested voice, pretending I had been listening.
Dr. Conway shot me an all-knowing look and removed her pad of paper from her desk. Crossing her legs, she returned to her title as a doctor from a friend. “How are you coping with the visit from your father?”
“You mean the man who never was my father and lied to me for twenty years? I’m doing fabulous.”
Her face fell. “A million questions must be running through your head.”
“Not about him … ”—I turned my attention outside the window and followed the rain from the sky to the ground— “Honestly, I have so much going on right now, I haven’t even had a second to stop and think how it affects me.”
“You have every reason to feel hurt.”
Hurt? I was hurt, not by the man who claimed to be my father then took it away from me, but at the friends who neglected me. Jake. Bria. Tyler. With one mistake of writing down their secrets in my journal that had been stolen from me, the three of them were quick to up and cut me off like it was easy for them.
October meant I had six more months until I was released, and I couldn’t enable my attacker by showing I was hurt. They could display the pages of my journal all over Dolor, hide dead animals in my dorm, put glass into my mattress, but they would have to kill me before I submit to their pathetic games.
Still, a part of me believed it was Jude, the other part of me was leaning more towards a female. Guys would mutilate a cat. Girls would steal a diary and paint the walls with its contents. Am I dealing with two different people?
“Mia?”
“Yeah?” I responded automatically, snapping my eyes back to face Dr. Conway.
“Your dad … how are you taking it all?”
Great, we were still on that subject. “Don’t call him that.”
Her brows pinched together as she slumped her shoulders. “What do you want to call him?”
“Bruce,” I stated, and the word sounded so foreign rolling off my tongue. There was no room in my mind to think about Bruce, or who my actual father was. All I needed to do was survive the rest of my time sentenced here. Pushing it away seemed like a better plan until I could gain access to my records … and a computer. “I’m a dual citizen, you know. I could stay here in the UK.”
“Is that what you want?” Dr. Conway asked, and I nodded, knowing it was the only thing I wanted since I left Pennsylvania. “I can help you make that happen, but you still have to return to take care of some loose ends with the judge after your release. And you will need a plan after Dolor. Will you continue in school? Where will you live? Will you work? Dolor has a great release program—
“Okay, okay … ” I cut her off and dropped back into the warm leather. Too many questions, too fast. “I don’t know. I need time to figure it out.” A year ago, I never cared where I ended up, whether it be jail or six feet under. I called that progress.
“I’ll help any way I can.”
On my way back to my wing, I passed by Jake and Tyler. Slowing my pace, hope sparked inside, thinking today would be the day they’d speak to me. But they passed by with only a look of disgust to give.
Out of nowhere, Maddie appeared, trapping me in. “How was counseling?” she asked, chewing on a stick of gum. The mint smelled like Ollie’s, and I instantly grew jealous.
“Go away, Maddie.” Taking a side-step away from her, I tried to escape her bubble. Maddie took a step out in front of me, blocking my every move. “What the hell do you want?”
“I just wanted to thank you.”
An ambiguous laugh sauntered between us. “Thank me for what?”
Long fingers pushed my hair off my shoulder before they skimmed along my face line. My arms were occupied with books, so instead, I wiggled out of Maddie’s filthy grasp when she smirked. “For making it so easy for me. You were exactly who I thought you were, a cold-hearted slapper. It makes sense now why your mother killed herself.”
My last straw blew from my grasp, and my books dropped to the floor. “You bitch!” I screamed out, hurling myself at her. I was only a few inches shorter than Maddie, but still managed to knock her backward to the ground and throw my fist into her face.
Maddie’s eyes went wild, and she snatched my wrist as I straddled my legs around her. “Ya hit like a bloody girl, princess,” she said through a laugh. “I’m surprised ya have what it takes to take the beating from Ollie, knowing how rough he likes it.” My adrenaline overpowered her, and I threw my elbow into the side of her jaw.
Arms snaked around my stomach, swiftly pulling me off of Maddie, and my frantic gaze skimmed the hallway to see a crowd gathering around. Hands gripped my cheeks and directed my gaze. My eyes met two green ones as Ollie brushed the hair from my face. “It’s not worth it, love.” My breathing was erratic, yet his voice was calm. Soothing. I wanted to drink from the tranquility rolling from him. “That girl right there,”—he pointed over to Maddie still lying on the ground with her palm over her jaw— “She’s not worth destroying your future for, alright?”
My Ollie.
“Breathe, Mia,” he added, and I hadn’t realized I wasn’t. Returning my attention to Maddie, she looked almost scared. Ethan helped her up from behind while his eyes stayed fixed on Ollie and me. “Hey, look at me,” Ollie whispered, and I faced him again. His eyes scanned over my face before he offered me a small smile. “Better?”
“Yeah.” The one word was a struggle to get out, and it came out more like a sigh of relief. “Yeah,” I said again with a convincing nod. Ollie’s sudden appearance stunned me into submission, and I was scared for it to leave me.
He kissed the side of my head, before taking off in the blink of an eye.
Ollie was gone.
“Alright, everyone break up and go back to your dorms,” Ethan called out with a clap of his hands. “Jett, I need to see you.”
And just like that, it was as if Ollie never appeared at all.
Ethan waited until it was only the two of us remaining in the hall. He stood on the opposite end, and when the last lingering soul dispersed around the corner, he took two long strides over to me. “Don’t fucking do it, Jett. I know what you’re thinking, but don’t you dare start pushing me away because he’s slowly coming back. He’ll only bring you down with him.”