“Does it bother you, O?” he asked, and I straightened my posture. Blood poured from my lip as he gripped my hair in his fist. “Every night, it’s my name she’s screaming. Every night, it’s my fucking hands all over her body. And every bloody night, I fuck her into morning.” His fist made impact again, and my head jerked back against the concrete before I slid to the ground. My face swelled and my vision blurred, but I didn’t have to see his face to know he was scared.
This wasn’t about what I did to her.
This was about him gradually losing her.
“No,” I struggled to get out, and a laugh blew past my lips. “Mia wouldn’t fuck you.”
“Yeah? What makes you so sure?”
I spat a mouthful of blood off to the side. Every bit of strength I had was wasted on holding myself upright. “You wouldn’t be here if she was.”
As if he answered a silent prayer, his boot came over my face, and all the lights went out.
Chapter Fourteen
“I smiled,
temptation could try
to find a way in.
but no hand can touch
the places I’ve been.”
—Oliver Masters
mia.
WHEN SATURDAY MORNING came along, I didn’t waste time hurrying over to Zeke’s, excited for the chance to play the piano and for a little human interaction with someone who didn’t completely hate me.
Last night during dinner, Zeke had looked back at me in confusion as I’d sat in the far corner. It had been a while since we spoke, and I made a mental note to myself to pick up our Saturday piano session in the group therapy room to mend our time apart. Seeing him sitting at my old table last night as the rest of them talked blindly around him, not showing him an ounce of attention, had stirred an agitated snake awake inside me. Countless times, I’d thought of removing him and taking him over to my new longer table, but Zeke thrived on routine. And as routine would have it, that had been the table he ate at.
I missed Zeke. It was hard not to, given he had become my first friend upon arrival and the only one who stayed by my side through everything.
So, here I was.
Zeke cracked the door and stuck his brown-curly head through.
“Piano date?” I asked with a hopeful smile. He looked to the ground and shook his head. I tried to see past him, but he blocked my view. “Zeke? What are you hiding from me?”
His eyes darted around frantically before he dropped his shoulders and closed the door in my face.
I knocked again, three frustrating times, but there was no answer.
Was he upset with me? Had the prankster taken him away from me, too?
The weekend passed with no sign of Zeke, Ethan, or Ollie. My world shrunk to the population of one: me.
It was lonely here.
Monday morning, Ethan stood at the back wall, as usual, fidgeting in place with his hands behind his back. We haven’t spoken two words to one another since he confronted me in the hallway after the Maddie altercation, and he never bothered to show his face when day fell to night, and my terrors came to life. Over the last three nights, I’d woken alone and afraid.
I wanted Ethan, but not in the way I desperately needed Ollie.
Even in Ollie’s absence, he ran freely through my veins, his love circulated, pumping to a crimson song stuck on repeat. A continuous reminder. Every part of me belonged to Ollie, and there was nothing I could do about it. My eyes searched for him in every room I entered, and in every person I came across. No matter how hard I tried to shake him, how hard I tried to stay away, even in Ollie’s absence, he had a hold on me.
I hadn’t seen him since he pulled me off Maddie, and I grew worried as a thousand worst-case-scenarios crossed my mind. The fear of losing him again crawled over me like a million spiders, using my weakness to spin their webs.
Entering class, Tyler averted her gaze as I took my usual seat beside her. Though Tyler had been caught fucking Jude behind Bria’s back, it had been me they pushed away, only making them grow closer. They even moved our WASA counseling session into another room so I’d show up alone and confused and looking like an idiot. Talk about stooping to the lowest of lows. It had been me who’d put the entire group together, and the prankster took that away from me, too.
“Tyler, this is ludicrous,” I whispered over to her before class started. “You can’t seriously be pissed for something you did.” Tyler exhaled, crossing her legs under the table, and flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder. “I didn’t fucking tell everyone!”
Nothing.
Giving up, I slumped back in my chair as Ms. Chandler spoke up from her desk and advised everyone to complete the lessons on the board in silence. She was the kind of teacher who avoided interaction, more of a babysitter watching over us as we taught ourselves.
Once class was over, I debated on following Tyler out and giving it one more shot, but as soon as we exited, she fell into the arms of Bria. Two pairs of eyes shot bullets in my direction before they turned and walked away.
Fucking females.
“Trouble in paradise?” Maddie’s voice sang, falling into step at my side.
“You got a nice bruise I see,” I smiled over at her, “need one on the other side to match?”
“Ah, shut up.”
I probably shouldn’t, but I had to know if she’d seen Ollie. I grabbed Maddie’s arm and pulled her to a stop at my side. “Have you seen Ollie? I haven’t seen him in a couple of days, and I’m getting worried.”
Maddie looked past me and nudged her head. “Ya, he’s right there.”
I turned my head, and my heart leapt when my eyes landed on his silhouette. In black jeans, a black hoodie, and the hood pulled high over his head, Ollie walked through the hall with his head down and eyes hidden from me.
Relief smothered my worries, and I moved in his direction without a second thought—only needing to look into his eyes and know he was okay.
“Ollie,” I whispered, stepping out in front of him. He paused and lifted his head. Jaded green eyes met mine. But the sight before me only threw accelerant over the previously smothered worries, reviving my fears. Cut, swollen, and bruised, Ollie stared down at me utterly gutted.
My fingers reached for his face, and his hand caught my wrist. My eyes watered, and the lump in his throat bobbed before he slowly grabbed the back of my hand and brought it to his face. Ollie’s eyes squeezed shut as if it pained for me to touch him. “I’m alright, love.”
“Who did this to you?” Seeing him this way destroyed me. When I had been too busy protecting myself, I’d left Ollie behind. I understood his resentment toward me and the pain in his eyes. We both made mistakes, and I wished now more than ever, I could’ve taken every nasty word I’d said back.
We were supposed to be in this together.
Ollie kissed the inside of my palm before darting his eyes around. “Get to second block before you get into trouble. It’s about to start.”
“Please, talk to me.”
Maddie passed by, and Ollie dropped my hand between us. “Get to class, Mia,” he muttered through an exhale, then walked away from me.
The mess hall stayed eerily quiet. The thick cold air swarmed through the unsaid tension, and I darted my eyes around, just like everyone else, knowing something was about to hit the fan at any moment.