“I never said anything.”
“You didn’t have to. I see it all over your face. He comes to your rescue once, and like quicksand, you literally sink into him. I saw what happened to my sister, and I’m not going to let that happen to you!”
“I’m not your sister, Ethan!”
“No fucking shit! You think I slept beside my sister every night? You think I touched my sister the way I touch you? Don’t be fucking stupid.” Ethan darted his gaze around and calmed himself before his eyes found mine again. “He’s not right in the head. Meds or no meds, he’s been messed up his whole life.”
“I’m messed up, too, yet you still sink your hands on me like quicksand,” I spat out. “Take your own goddamn advice.” With that, I blew past him and never bothered to turn around when he called out for me.
Stupidly, I sat at my desk to write in my journal without remembering it was gone. Stolen. Vanished. Out in the world for all eyes to see. Slumping back in the chair I threw my pencil at the wall, remembering times I used to throw my fist in it.
Again, progress.
Over the last few months, the walls in the room turned their back on me. Finally, I’d reached the point where I was itching to get out of here, even the walls whispered through the night, reminding me I was trapped—taunting me like this unknown prankster.
I ran my fingers through my messy brown hair when I heard sounds coming from outside. The clock above the door read midnight. Jumping from my chair, I rushed to the window to see two figures out in the distance. One was Ethan. I could pick his shadow out in a line-up. Ethan towered over the other man on the lawn. From Ethan’s face, I could tell they were yelling back and forth at each other, but I couldn’t hear anything. Ethan faced the building. He stared right at me, but there was no way he could really see me, was there? The other man turned his face, and I recognized him instantly.
Dean Lynch.
Did he know Ethan crept into my room at night to calm my terrors?
Was Ethan in trouble?
Dean Lynch marched away, leaving Ethan standing under the night starry sky on the lawn. The light from the moon reflected off him, and the red tint glowed from his hair. I would be lying if I said he wasn’t beautiful, but looking at him didn’t affect me the same way Ollie did.
Ollie had the ability to eradicate and piece me back together in one single breath, and with one look, he had the power to erase the world around us. I felt his words when he spoke, vibrations to the cracks of my bones. His love pumped through my veins, even when he was gone because we were bound together by something much bigger.
Ethan was beautiful, but Ollie was something else entirely.
My gaze followed Ethan’s movements back inside the building, and after he disappeared, I crawled into the bed.
It seemed like an hour passed as I waited for him to walk through the door and sleep beside me, but he never showed. Slowly, my eyes closed conceding to the exhaustion, preparing for a night terror to soon wake me.
Movements from behind stirred me back to life, and the familiar smell of Ethan’s cologne filled my senses. He didn’t wear it often, but whenever he’d come from his home, he smelled so distinct—like spices and woods. “I couldn’t sleep,” he spoke softly into my ear as he climbed in beside me. His bare chest warmed my back as his body fused to mine. “I tried to sleep in my own bed, but I couldn’t sleep without you.”
I pretended to be asleep, and Ethan sighed, believing my bluff. “I don’t know why, Mia,” he continued to say, “but you’re the one good thing that’s happened in my life since she passed and I’m not letting you go without a fight. Ollie may be your number one, but you’re mine. And if you were awake right now, I’d never admit to it.”
I laid still, quiet, keeping up with the charade. Ethan’s hand slipped under my tank and flattened his palm against my bare stomach. “Like quicksand,” he whispered, lips and stubble brushing across my back. “Mia … ” his hand raised to my rib cage beneath my breast, “can I have one night with you?”
My eyes snapped open. I couldn’t speak, think, or breathe, for that matter. The only thing I could do was pretend a light snore, feeling like a damn idiot.
Ethan exhaled, and I don’t know why, but I felt selfish at that moment. He’d been nothing but good to me, and I couldn’t man-up and give myself to him for one much-deserved night. A single tear rolled down my cheek, and I’d realized this was the farthest point Ethan and me could ever reach. It could never go past this. I would never know what his lips would taste like, or what it felt like with him deep inside me because I didn’t want to know.
Ollie was all that mattered. Rock-bottomed-messed-up-mind-fucked Ollie.
Ollie.
“Oliver, you have a visitor” Jerry called out, tapping his hand against the door frame.
I gathered my things and sent a wicked smile over to Mr. Mahoney, and he shook his head at the front of the classroom. Mr. Mahoney didn’t like students disappearing from his class and denied every request to use the restroom since the year had started.
Dolor had visiting hours posted outside campus walls on the gate and, I was sure, online. But if someone made the gruesome drive out here, Lynch had trouble turning away a family member.
People like us rarely got visitors.
If someone came, it was either because there was a death in the family, or an urgent matter that needed to be rectified face-to-face.
Having no family left, I had no idea who was waiting for me.
Jerry walked silently beside me as we made our way downstairs and toward the visitor room at the front of campus. “You have an hour,” he stated, then opened the door and guided me in.
Standing beside a window was none other than Travis himself, my mate from my seven months in lock up.
“Ah, look what the cat dragged in,” Travis said with a massive goofy smile on his face. Our hands shook before he pulled me in for a half hug, and I gave him a pat on the back.
“Good to see you, mate.” I rested my hands on his shoulders and held him out at arm’s length.
Travis was a good-looking chap with blond braids running along his scalp and a tattoo crawling up his neck. “Being a free-man looks good on you,”—I patted his stomach— “I see you picked up a few pounds. You’ve been eating proper, yeah?”
Travis pushed my hand away. “Wait until you’re out of here. Six months and I’ll be having a nice fucking filet waiting for you at your new house.”
I took a step back and raised my brows in the air. “You found one?” Travis and I made a deal in jail. I’d take care of him, pay him as my assistant as long as he handled my finances. After I was transported back to Dolor, I’d sent him on a mission to find me the perfect house. Two bedrooms, a master bedroom with a bay window, and a beautiful view overlooking water. All Mia ever talked about when leaving here was putting her toes in the water, and I was going to make that happen. I’d give Travis the tools he needed to make the purchase, and he could live in the house until I left here. My weekly phone calls have been spent with the bank, setting up a separate bank account and making transfers for the purchase.
Despite how fucked I’d been in the head, my heart could never give up on my dream of a life with Mia and Zeke.