Geoff was saying something snarky as he left but he didn’t hear it. He loved Troy, but he needed out of the damn hospital. Just for a while. Some real food, a real bed.
He got into Troy’s truck, started it up, and headed… home.
24
“Don’ be ugly, butthead.” Troy was tired and feeling weirdly vulnerable and scared. “How’s you?”
“I’m just playing. I’m fine. I’m not the one in a hospital bed. Carter and I are worried about you. How are you feeling?” Geoff sat just where Saul had been perched on his bed.
“Like I been rode hard and put away wet. They keep making me blow in all these tubes.” He was exhausted and hurting, but he’d say he was fine to get out of there.
A fucking heart attack. Jesus.
Geoff touched his shoulder. “You’re going to have to be patient with it, Troy. It’s frustrating, I’m sure, but you had no control over this. It was a congenital failure, and you just have to do the rehab and be grateful you didn’t die.”
“Right. I am. I’m just… I’m ready to get back to normal.”
“Honey.” Geoff sighed and took his hand. “I don’t think it works like that. You have to find a new normal. Have the docs talked to you about… everything?”
“Yeah.” Two months his ass. He’d already talked to Solomon. He’d be back at yoga in a few days.
Geoff gave him the eye. “You better follow orders. We want you around for a while.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” He wasn’t that old. Middle-aged, sure, but not old. “I’m making a miraculous recovery.”
Geoff smiled at him. “Yeah? I’m into miracles. Personally, I think it’s a miracle you’re awake. You look pretty tired. Get real, honey. How do you feel?”
“It hurts. I’ve never hurt so deep.” And he’d never felt so weak.
“Oh, Troy.” Geoff reached out and gave him a gentle hug. “I can only imagine. But you’ve got a few days here whether you like it or not, so take advantage of them. Get the pain meds and rest. I’m here because I wanted to see you, I don’t need you to entertain me. Plus, I think Saul would be upset with me if I didn’t make sure you rested. He’s been very… clear with Carter and me.”
“Oh fuck. He’s really stressed out, isn’t he?” He didn’t know what to say, for chrissake.
“He needs some sleep and a little perspective, I think. He’s okay. He’s young, you know? He’s never seen any of this before, none of his buddies have ever seen this before. But his heart is in the right place.”
“Yeah.” He was old, wasn’t he? Like too old for Saul. God. His eyes filled with tears. What the fuck was wrong with him?
“He’s been really good, Troy. The nurses all said he’s been good to have here.” Geoff rubbed his shoulder. “Hey. It’s okay. You’re tired, honey. Close your eyes for a while.”
“I’m not okay. I can’t keep my shit together somehow.” He wanted Saul there. He wouldn’t ask, but the heart wanted what it wanted.
“So don’t. Who am I going to tell? Jesus, Troy. What haven’t we been through together?” Geoff took his hand and squeezed it hard.
“Right?” Troy held on to his best friend, tears sliding down his face without his permission.
“This is fucked up. It’s scary. It changes things. Why should that be easy? It’s not. I was so scared for you.” He could hear the emotion in Geoff’s voice too.
“I don’t remember it—not the whole day.”
“Just as well, it was scary as fuck. Your surgery took forever. Hours.”
“I just remember hearing Saul talking to me, telling the nurse I hurt.” It had been the thing he held onto, that kept him sane.
“I’m not surprised, you know. He pays attention. He may be young, but he knows you. He loves you, that’s obvious to me and Carter, both.”
“He does. I’ve asked him to move in, did you know?” He thought, maybe, he’d mentioned it.
“I didn’t know until just a minute ago when you and Saul were talking. I was surprised, you’ve been alone there so long. Congratulations.”
“Do you think we’ll… that he’ll forgive me?” His eyelids were so heavy.
“There’s nothing to forgive. Saul loves you.” Geoff touched his cheek. “That’s how this works. In for a penny, in for a pound.”
“Ask them to let me sleep? Please?”
“I will. I’ll keep everybody out tonight, okay? You tell me if you need pain meds. I’m here all night, honey.”
“I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sure what for, not at all, but he was.
Geoff kissed his cheek. “Stop. You’re my best friend. No apologies.”
“I am.” He sighed, the world sort of falling away from him.
Good night, Saul. Sir. Love you.
25
Saul rolled over with a sigh and stared at the ceiling. He’d been awake for a bit thinking, worrying, wondering what the hell he should do next. He knew he needed to get back to the hospital, Troy would be missing him.
God, he hated that hospital. He was starting to understand what Carter had been talking about the other day. And keeping up a strong front for Troy was hard. Maybe the hardest thing he’d ever done.
It was weird sleeping in this house alone. Wrong.
He dragged his phone off the nightstand and looked at it, a little shocked to realize it was already Friday. He also had a string of texts from Emma. Jesus, what was he going to do about work? He didn’t read them all, he just called her. He needed a reality check or a kick in the pants or something.
“Dude. You have to come back to work. Please.” Emma chuckled softly, but he could hear the stress. “Also, how is Troy?”
Fuck. Work. “He’s… I don’t know. In pain? Weak. Not himself. He’ll be in the hospital at least a few more days.” He was going to have to figure it out. Troy was going to have to manage. Maybe Geoff and Carter could pitch in more? Maybe.
“That sucks. Seriously. A few more days sounds… better than I thought. Is there a chance you can come today and tomorrow? Please? I’ll buy pizza.”
“Yeah. Yeah, of course. I just need to go by the hospital first and see Troy. Let him know what’s up.” Okay, so Emma wasn’t going to be the one to vent to. And honestly, it wasn’t fair to her to have to run things on her own. How did people do this? “I might be a little late, but I’ll be there.”
“Sure. How are you? I’ve missed the hell out of you, man. Seriously.” Emma sighed. “I want to hug you and tell you it’s all okay.”
“I’m… good. I got a good night’s sleep.” He couldn’t dump on her now, she’d feel guilty for asking him to come in. And that hug sounded like a terrible idea. He might lose it. “Listen, I’m going to run, okay? I need to get dressed and get to the hospital so I can get to the shop.”
“No running. Now that I’ve heard your voice, I feel better.”