He let Troy see the smile slightly tugging at one corner of his lips, then took a slow sip of his coffee before answering. “Something to say?”
Troy shook his head. “No, Sir.”
His boy ate a bite, watching him, and Saul could feel the way Troy stopped thinking about all this garbage at the hospital and started focusing on him.
He finished his last bite and took another sip of his coffee, enjoying the moment more than he’d enjoyed anything in a week. Troy’s change in focus, in body language, even in heart rate was totally gratifying. His usually familiar confidence wasn’t actually gone after all, it was just being tested. It made his spine tingle when Troy stared at him that way. “Good boy. I want to find out about the paperwork and—”
“Mr. Finch!” A short, happy nurse came shuffling into the room pushing a wheelchair. “All I need is two more signatures and you’re outta here.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep. We have your nurse scheduled, your cardiologist, physical therapist, nutritionist. All that.” She handed Troy a bag of pill bottles. “And these are yours.”
“God.” Troy looked a little panicked.
Saul tried not to look it, but he knew how Troy was feeling. “So… do all those people come to the house? Or do I need to get him to appointments? Is it all written down somewhere?”
“The nurse will come to the house, starting day after tomorrow. He isn’t cleared to drive for six weeks, but you can get medical transport, and yes, everything is written down in the discharge papers.”
“Okay. I’m on it.” He’d sit with a calendar while Troy was napping later, and then he’d talk to Carter. Medical transport would suck. “Thanks.”
“So sign here and on the next page, Mr. Finch.”
Troy scribbled his name on both pages, then grabbed his shirt.
“If you want to get the car, we’ll get him downstairs.”
“I’ll walk myself.”
Saul shot Troy a look, then smiled at the nurse. “Can I take him? He can just hang in the lobby while I get the car, right?”
“Well.”
“Please? I’d really appreciate it.”
“You’ve got a good one here, Mr. Finch. Feel better soon.” She smiled at him and left the room.
“Sit, boy.”
“The temptation to bark is huge. I won’t, because I respect you to death, but God, Sir, I want to.” Troy gave him a wry grin.
He snorted. “Wow. It’s a shame I can’t levy stripes as punishment right now. Maybe I should order you to bark all the way to the car.”
“If I could feel up to it, I’d welcome them.” Troy sighed and sat. “I guess I’ll be grateful that I feel good enough to tease and drink good coffee.”
“I know you would. But remember, there is more to submission than that. You and I need to work, and we will. But teasing and drinking coffee is good too.” He smiled and shouldered Troy’s bag, then wheeled him out of the room.
Troy leaned his head back, smiled up at Saul. “Going home. Thank God.”
“Oh, look at you smiling at me. I like that. I like that a lot.” He leaned over and kissed Troy upside down. “We can snuggle and watch more creepy ghost shows. Carter is sending soup for dinner.” He rolled Troy onto the elevator and sighed as the door closed.
“That sounds like heaven. You want to know something weird?”
He grinned. His boy could come out with just about anything. “Shoot.”
“I think I feel better today with my sternum wired shut than I did last Saturday.” Troy smiled at him, the expression open, easy.
That was kind of weird, Troy was right. “Good. That was a bad day. This is a good one.” The elevator doors opened, and they rolled out into the lobby. “Want to wait outside while I get the truck? Soak up a little sun?”
“Yes, Sir. It’ll be cold before we know it.” Troy smiled at the people in the lobby, in the parking area. His boy was perking up, second by second.
“Right on. Out we go.” Troy hadn’t been outside in a week, so he parked the chair directly in the sun. His boy wouldn’t be there long enough for it to be an issue. “Soak up that vitamin D. I’ll be right back.” He hitched Troy’s bag higher on his shoulder and went to find the truck.
28
Troy stood in his front room feeling a couple three things. First? He was grateful as all get out to be here in the quiet, in his house. Second? He wanted a Dr Pepper. Third? There’d never been a longer set of stairs.
“You better sit, baby.” Saul scooped an arm around him, and suddenly he was halfway to the couch. Had he lost that much weight? “What can I get you? Would you like a snack? Something to drink? Remote is on the arm there.”
“Can I have a Coke, please?” The whole world seemed just a little different, a little fuzzy.
“Yeah. Dr Pepper?” Saul helped him sit and then headed for the kitchen.
“Yes, Sir. Please.” He sat there for a second, blinking. God, he was fixin’ to burst into tears like an idiot. Come on, cowboy, suck it up.
He’d damn near died, lying in the fucking park like a homeless man. If that guy hadn’t found him, or had walked by thinking he was a drunk…
A weird panic rushed him, and the damn heart monitor started alarming, just making it worse.
Saul sprinted back from the kitchen looking panicked, tossed the can of Dr Pepper on the couch, and knelt in front of him, hands on his knees. “What’s wrong? Troy?”
“I almost died there in that park.” He hadn’t believed it, not really. Not until he got home.
Saul took a deep breath and nodded. “Right after your surgery I went in to see you—well, I let Geoff go in first because honestly I wasn’t ready—I’d never been in a recovery room. All the machines… and you looked so small in that bed and gray… I felt sick. Like deep in my soul sick. I think I know some of what you’re feeling. I almost lost you.” Saul’s voice held steady until that last bit, he could hear the emotion but Saul stayed steady. “But I didn’t. And you’re home now.”
The beeping slowed and the alarm stopped as he breathed with his lover. “I am. I’m home. With you. Thank God.”
Saul shifted to the couch, put the Coke in his hands and an arm around his shoulders. “So. Scary shit over. I mean, in a way you’re healthier than before, you know? They fixed the problem.”
“That’s what they said, that I’m going to recover and be better off.” He already felt himself healing. He reckoned that’s why he’d freaked. A man had to believe there was a god to be scared of the devil.
Saul kissed his temple. “I have big plans today. I’m going to sit here with you and hold you until you can’t stand me anymore.”
“Yeah? It’s a hell of a job, but somebody needs you to do it.” He opened his Coke, took a deep drink, then leaned in hard.
“I’m totally prepared.” He felt Saul settle with him. “Breathing?”
“In and out, Master. Steady as it goes.” Troy wondered if they were ever going to just be able to have a scene one day, just be two normal men.