“Oh! Oh, that rocks! I thought you couldn’t take him. We’re careful to plan our celebrations so that we can all make them.”
“Oh. No. I can take him, I just don’t know how he’d feel about it. There’ll be some family there—siblings, nieces and nephews. Might be a crowd. I don’t know how all of that will sit with him.” Christmas could be chaotic. Fun as hell, but crazy.
“He misses being in a family, I think.” Geoff shot him a grin. “I bet he’ll say yes.”
“Yeah? Awesome. I think my mom would love him, I really do. She’s rolled her eyes a some of the guys I’ve brought home, but none of them have been like Troy. You and Carter don’t have family?”
“Both of Carter’s parents are gone, and mine. My family is here with him, Troy, you, Doc, Trav, David, all of you.”
That wasn’t the first time he’d heard that story. He counted himself lucky to still have family to spend time with. “You could do a lot worse, man. I was fascinated by Doc—is that weird to say? He kind of looked at me like I was from outer space or something.”
“Right? He goes through subs madly too. He’s kept little Ben, though, for a good long while.” Geoff shook his head but kept his smile. “The first time I met him I wanted to cry.”
“Cry? How come?” Doc was older, and a big guy, but there wasn’t anything about him that made him feel that way.
“I don’t know—he’s super-imposing, and I was still working out where I belonged with Carter. I was… just overwhelmed.”
“He’s big. And yeah, I mean the way he was watching me was like he knew something about me that I didn’t. I guess I see what you mean. How did you and Carter hook up?”
“I was a tattoo model at a convention in Denver—collared, bound, shown off. My boss had pretty much forgotten I was there. Carter hadn’t. He unchained me, helped me take the collar off, and asked me to supper.” Geoff curled up on the sofa, feet under him. “It’s like the best romance novel, isn’t it?”
“I love it. I hope you quit your job after. Oh.” He handed Geoff the beer he’d been holding all this time. “Man, I forgot that was still in my hand. I think my fingers are kinda numb.” He snorted. “Wow.”
“Lightweight,” Geoff teased. “And yes. I… well… to be honest, Carter just kept me and brought me to Boulder. I had been living in LA.”
“He kept you.” Saul laughed. “I don’t know, I like how that sounds for some reason.” He started to sit down on the couch with Geoff but hesitated. “I’m going to run up and just check on Troy, okay? Make sure he’s…” Not trying to get out of bed. “Comfortable. I’ll be right back.”
He just suddenly felt like he needed to touch Troy. Make sure his boy was whole.
“I’ll keep an ear out for the food.” Geoff waved him off with a smile. “Tell him hi if he’s awake.”
Oh.
“You want to come up and see him? Even if he’s asleep, it’s okay. I get it.”
“Nope. You’re his Master. If he needs anything, it’s you.”
He squeezed Geoff’s hand and smiled. “I’ll be right back.”
He usually took the stairs two at a time, but he was moving slowly; the green doing just what it was supposed to do, relaxing him. At the top of the steps he peeked around the doorframe and then moved quietly into the room.
Troy was curled up with his pillows, holding them, rocking with them, muttering in his sleep.
Hm. He climbed up behind his boy in bed and tucked an arm over Troy’s side. “Shh.”
Troy immediately eased, sinking into his arms. He sucked in a breath, letting in that relaxation, the peace suiting him to the bone.
He could stay, maybe even should stay, but honestly, he wanted a little more time with Geoff. And tacos. He knew these times when Troy was sleeping hard were the only time he was going to get a break, and he needed breaks, right? It was okay. When Troy was awake, his attention belonged to his boy one hundred percent.
He was struck suddenly by the strangest flash of a memory from a very long time ago. Mom and Aunt Ellie talking about Dad. He was about… well, he had to have been six—that was the year his dad died. They were standing in the hall in his old house in Philly and Aunt Ellie was telling Mom she had to take care of herself.
Whoa. He thought he’d forgotten everything about that time. He tried to get more out of the memory but couldn’t, it faded as fast as it had come on.
Aunt Ellie, who was Dad’s sister, had joined Dad about five years ago. Maybe she was looking out for him. Huh. He laughed softly.
Or, maybe I’m just high.
Either way, there was queso on the way, guacamole, salsa, and he was starving. Surely his snarling belly would disturb Troy.
Surely.
“Love you,” he whispered, kissed Troy on his not-so-bald head and slipped carefully out of bed again.
30
Troy wasn’t sure if he was tired to death or if he was so ramped up that he couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t settle, not even for a second, so he headed back to the kitchen.
He needed to make Saul’s lunch for tomorrow and do some goddamn laundry. Make room for Saul’s things in the drawers. Mow the grass.
Troy rubbed his chest, shook his head. Focus, man. Lunch.
Saul came trotting down from upstairs and hurried to his side, catching him under one elbow. “Whoa, you’re up? Why didn’t you call me? You okay?”
“I need to make your lunch.” Of course he wasn’t okay, but he wasn’t going to get better sitting on his ass.
“You sit, baby. I can do it.” Saul stopped him. “Really. You go rest. Why don’t you put on some football?”
“It’s Tuesday. We have two more days.” Wasn’t it Tuesday? God, he felt like the world was moving on without him.
“Right. I’m losing days, sorry. Want to find a movie? I was just going to start some laundry for you.”
“You don’t want me to do it?” A huge part of him was fucking relieved.
“Nope. I got it. It’s too heavy for you right now, you’re not allowed to lift it, remember? Six weeks.” Saul kissed his cheek.
“Hasn’t it been six weeks?” he teased. God, there was no way. None. He would lose his mind.
Saul grinned at him. “Yeah, but it’s like Groundhog Day. You have to live them all over again. Will you sit, please? You’re making me nervous standing here. Are you hungry?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be hungry again, some days. Do you think I can do yoga soon?” He wasn’t sure. If he asked the nurse, she’d say no. She said no to everything. He didn’t want to hurt his sternum, but he wanted to move.
“Six weeks, and ten pounds. You’re going to have to find a way to be Zen about this, Troy. Do the time, gain the weight, and then we can talk about adding things back.” Saul shook his head. “I’ll get lunch. Carter sent you some a cream of something soup and some sourdough.”
God, he wanted to just throw a temper tantrum, which would not help anything. Nothing. Well, maybe he’d feel good after. “I’m not hungry.”