“Naomi—” His voice sounds like complete shit, like he swallowed gravel and washed it down with acid. Good. “I need to talk to you. That picture—”
“Says everything,” I finish for him. “Do you have any idea how much that hurt me to see? Can you even begin to imagine? How could you do that to me, Gus?” my voice splinters on his name. “How could you tell me you love me and then go out and fuck some random woman? I gave you everything.”
“Naomi. It’s not what it—”
“Shut up!” I scream, swallowing down the sob that threatens to leak out with it. “I don’t want to hear you try to explain this away. I know all about what you did last night. There is nothing you can say that will erase it. Nothing.”
“You don’t understand—” His voice cracks like he’s crying, and for a small flicker of a second, I crack along with him. Loving someone you hate is the very worst irony.
“How could you, Gus? How could you do this to me? To us? I gave you everything. Everything I swore I would never give another…” I trail off, hating how much of myself I’m revealing.
I’m too vulnerable with Gus. Too open.
And look where it got me.
He doesn’t care about me. He just cares that he got caught. Once a cheater, always a cheater. He used me. He made me believe… I swallow so hard, shaking my head back and forth. Anything to stop this…this feeling from exploding in my mind. It’s like one grenade going off after the other in a chain reaction.
“Naomi. I don’t know what happened.”
“Shut up!” I screech because is he kidding me with that? He doesn’t know what happened? “Don’t you dare say my name. Not now. Not ever again. None of it matters. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t.” I don’t just crack. I shatter. “We’re done. I never want to see you again.”
“No. Naomi. Please, no. I’m so sorry,” he mumbles, his words slightly slurred. “You have to listen to me. I don’t…” He trails off, his voice catching, and I sob, trying to cover the sound with my hand. “It’s not what it looked like.”
God. He did not just feed me that line.
“I swear it’s not. I was—”
“Don’t ever call me or text me or find me again. I was crazy to love you.”
I disconnect the call and my phone slips through my fingers, falling to the floor. I force myself not to follow after it though the temptation is real. Instead, I get dressed. I brush my hair and my teeth. Then, I head down into my music room because if I get back in bed the way I’d like, I’ll never leave it.
Pain shoots through me with powerful devotion, clinging to my skin, and holding my breath hostage. It’s a terrorist in my soul, subversive in my every thought, and as I sit here, staring at my various musical instruments, I can’t decide where to start.
“Pick one, dammit!”
I eye my cello in the corner, hearing the mournful notes of Requiem Mass in D minor by Mozart in my head. Just as I take a step toward it, my doorbell sounds, and I let out the shrillest sound my lungs can produce. Jesus. Won’t this day just give me five freaking minutes?
I debate not opening the door. What if it’s Gus? What if it’s not Gus?
Then again, there are only so many people who it could be.
It rings again, and I spin on the balls of my feet, determined not to open the door if it is him. Only it’s not Gus, it’s Casper, and I’m assaulted with a deluge of disappointment and relief. Fucking men.
I swing the door open and the second Casper sees my face, he frowns. “What? Heartache not a good look on me?”
“What the hell happened and who do I have to kill?”
“Not-so-funny story. Come in and I’ll tell you all about it. It’s five o’clock somewhere, right? Not too early for a drink?” I question over my shoulder as I lead Casper into my kitchen.
He takes a seat at the bar, exactly where Florian sat this morning when he delivered my happy news. I don’t actually go for the booze because hootching it up in the face of devastation is not my style. Instead, I get myself a Diet Coke, offer one to Casper who declines it.
“Hold that thought,” I tell him even though he’s not speaking. “The story is better with visuals.” I run upstairs, scoop my phone up off the floor where I dropped it, and head back down. Unlocking my phone, I slide the image of Gus over to him just as I take my first sip of my soda.
He gives it a quick glance and then pushes it away in disgust. “That stupid bastard. Where did you get the picture?”
“Florian. He was at the party. Saw Gus acting like a twat-ass and found him in a bedroom all over that woman.” I nod toward my phone.
“Nai,” Casper starts, and the tone of his voice makes my stomach drop like a lead weight. “I’m sorry, honey. I don’t even know what to say. I know you’ve fallen for Gus.” He pushes out a breath and I finally force my gaze up. “Don’t let what some asshole guy did steal your life away from you again. I didn’t stick around. I know this. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me, and I stayed with Florian. It was a fuck-up and I was wrong to do it. But shit, Nai. I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.” He stares down at the counter and shakes his head helplessly. “What can I do?”
“Oddly enough, just hearing you say all that to me? It helped.”
“Not enough.”
“I’m thinking of taking orders. Becoming a nun. I look really great in black and white so I should knock that one out of the park.”
Casper laughs, leaning back in his seat just as the freaking doorbell rings again. My heart jumps up into my throat and I freeze in place.
“Expecting more company?”
“No. I wasn’t even expecting you.”
He rolls his eyes at my snark. “Could be him.”
“Could be.”
“Want to find out?”
I shake my head. “Not really. The whole point of telling someone you never want to see them again is because you never want to see them again.”
“If I answer the door and it’s him, I’m going to kill him and flee the country. You cool with that?” Am I? I suppose that’s not a real question. He cocks an eyebrow. Evidently, he was serious.
“Ugh. Fine.”
I do another teenage huff and skulk to the door with heavy, angry steps. I don’t even tap on the screen. “Go away,” I yell through the door instead.
“Naomi? It’s me, Henry.”
Not Gus, but Henry. Is this a joke? That fires me up even more.
“You’re not welcome. Screw off.”
“Naomi, please. You need to listen to me.”
“No. I don’t. And it’s like I told Gus. I never want to see you again. Bye now.”
I do some wiggly fingers at the door and pivot on my heels. I’m not smiling. I don’t even feel good about my bitchiness. Because Henry? Really, asshole? You sent Henry? Argh!
“That picture isn’t what it seems?” I hear him yell, louder now, a touch of desperation in his tone. I don’t care. I head back toward the kitchen, but now Casper is standing up, blocking me.
“Move.”