“You don’t look fine,” he says as his eyes narrow slightly, and he stares at me as though my secrets will suddenly make themselves known to him.
“I thought I would feel differently and I guess… I feel confused.” I get to my feet and I watch as his eyes track me from head to toe, and linger slightly longer on my legs.
He clears his throat and takes a step back as his eyes meet mine, and I think he feels uncomfortable, I wonder why? Maybe he feels weird about being alone with an eighteen-year-old girl. Fuck, I’m nineteen next week, time really is flying by. It’s easy to forget once you’re in that place, the outside world all but ceases to exist
“How did you expect to feel?”
“If we’re supposed to avoid familiarity, it’s probably best I don’t say. Anyway, I thought I’d order some food, and you said not to do it without you. Will you at least eat with me?” I ask and he hesitates for a moment before nodding his head, and my chest feels a little lighter. I don’t know what kind of company he’ll be, but at least I won’t be alone.
The food doesn’t take long to arrive, and Darius inspects it before handing it over. He really takes his job seriously. I mean, it isn’t as though someone is going to try to poison me, is it? Oh no, I dislike where that line of thought is taking me, I’m going to end up paranoid if I don’t get a lock on it.
“Your girlfriend or wife must be an understanding person,” I say lightly, as I take a bite of my hunter’s chicken, and his eyes flick to me before returning to his pulled pork sandwich.
“I have neither,” is all he says, and I’m thinking although he is here, I still feel lonely.
“Really, that seems so strange to me. You seem nice. Although, I don’t know a thing about you, so I guess I could be wrong,” I trail off as he levels me with a hard stare. I swallow hard before lowering my eyes back down, and I don’t dare look at him again.
I hear his sigh and the clinking of cutlery being placed on a plate. I guess he’s going to leave now. I’m starting to think it’s probably for the best.
“People can be rather judgmental as a whole, and I refuse to go into a relationship without being honest regarding my past. I may not be able to tell them who I work for, but I believe they have the right to know how I ended up working in the security industry. Most can’t handle it, and others just use me to fulfill some bad boy fantasy they never got to outgrow as a kid.” He sounds so despondent. Even though I know I shouldn’t, I still place my hand over his, and gently squeeze before pulling away.
“What was that for?” he asks. He sounds confused, and his mouth is pulled down into a frown.
“I just wanted to comfort you. I’m not used to doing it, so I apologize if it was weird or uncomfortable,” I reply with a nervous laugh. He smiles at me and it nearly leaves me breathless.
I throw on a pair of leggings, a tank top, and my sweater before I knock on the door and wait for Darius to open up. I don’t feel right just walking into his room, but I’m beyond eager to get to the hospital and see my family. I hope if I get there early enough then I may get some alone time with Poppy. There are things I need to say and ask, and I won’t feel right doing it in front of Mom. I knock again, but there’s no answer, so I leave the bathroom and close the door behind me. I don’t know what he’s doing in there, but I need to get a hold on my frustration before I do something stupid.
I can’t even ring the hospital to see if she’s still coherent, because I’m not allowed to use the damn phone. I’m going to end up wearing a hole in the carpet with the way I’m pacing, and I’m not even paying attention as I open the bathroom door. The steam registers a little too late as my eyes fall on the steamed glass of the shower door. It doesn’t hide enough though, as Darius fills my eyes. The way the water runs down his hard, muscled chest and trails down over his stomach. It tangles with the hair that starts on his stomach, and travels past his V. My eyes wander further until they rise at the same time as his head shoots up, and our eyes connect. My senses return a little too late, and I backpedal out of the room and close the door.
For someone who told me to lock the door on my end, he really should have listened to his own advice. Because as I close my eyes, all I can picture is the way he looks naked and wet.
My skin is growing flushed and I can’t believe I’m having this reaction to him. What the hell have those guys done to me?!
I hear the water shut off and I know I’m in the wrong for not realizing it was even running. Well, I’m definitely going to be paying more attention in the future. Although…
He really does look yummy when he’s wet.
Yeah, my cheeks are flaming right now, I really need to stop thinking about my bodyguard naked, wet, and hard. Fuck!
The door opens and I turn around and hurry over to the other side of my bed. I look out the window, trying to put off looking at him for as long as I can.
“I’m sorry, Miss Carter. I should have made sure I locked the door. It is my fault, but I hope you won’t tell those at the Academy of my indiscretion.” His voice sounds strained, and I’m fighting myself to turn around. I really don’t want to look at him.
Despite my embarrassment and reservations, I turn around and stare at his feet, I can’t have him taking full responsibility for this.
“I won’t say anything, but it wasn’t just your fault. I should have paid more attention and I definitely shouldn’t have stayed in there for as long as I did.” I can feel a lump form in my throat as I risk a glance up at him.
He rubs the back of his neck before meeting my eyes, and I have a feeling he’s just as embarrassed as I am.
“It’s fine, but it’s probably a good idea to pretend this never happened, and never speak of it again.”
“Oh, y-yeah. T-that’s good with m-me.” I don’t even care that I’m stuttering this time. I’m just relieved this conversation is over, and hopefully, I’ll be able to act normal around him again soon. Well, as normal as I can be.
“Okay, well then, good. Shall we go?”
I look up at him, and I don’t know why, but I laugh, and it isn’t long until he joins in. He goes from imposing and hard, to carefree and stunning in a matter of seconds.
“I’m ready to see my family,” I say as my laughter fades, and he settles back into his reserved manner as he holds the door open for me.
This is it. After a year of being apart, I’m returning to my family, but I know I’m not the same girl I was when I left and I can’t help but worry. What if mom doesn’t like the person I am now? That thought is terrifying. Man, what I wouldn’t give for an hour in a kitchen right now.
He leads me out of the hotel and down into the car, and I stare out of the window, not really seeing anything until the hospital appears. My hands shake as they grow clammy, and my skin itches.
Darius’ hand appears on my arm and I jolt and look up at him, I don’t understand why he’s touching me, but I find it oddly soothing. I’ll question and obsess over that little fact later.
“Are you okay?”
“I d-d-d…”
“Take a deep breath, clear your mind, and think about what it is you want to say. Just take your time, you don’t need to rush,” he says, and it helps to soothe me even more, and I do as he says. Taking deep calming breaths, until I feel as though I have control again.