“I don’t know if I can do this. Last night you asked if I was okay and I said nothing. The thing is, I put on clothes that reminded me of the girl I used to be, but it didn’t make me feel like her.” I take another deep breath. I’m trying to keep my mind as calm as I can get it, as he traces soothing circles over the top of my hand. “I’ve changed just like everyone said I would, and I don’t know what they’ll think of me. What if I’ve changed for the worse?” My voice cracks, and a few tears break free and trail down my face.
I flinch when his thumb wipes them away, but it doesn’t deter him, and he gets rid of every tear that falls free until I get control and just look at him. Every time I think I know what kind of person he is, he does something that shocks me, and it always seems to be for the better.
“I don’t know you all that well, I have spent nowhere near enough time with you to claim such a thing. The thing is, I saw the way you were with your mom, and I don’t think anything would change how much she loves you. You seem more confident now, and you hold yourself better, and there’s a strength that wasn’t as clear before. But I don’t think you’ve changed for the worse, Miss Carter. You’ve just grown.”
“Thank you,” I say softly, and he gives me a smile that reaches his eyes before it falls away. He exits the car before opening my door and leading me inside.
My thoughts finally turn to the person who should own them. Poppy.
I can’t believe she’s awake, I mean, she was always awake, but she’s talking and moving about. I honestly never thought the Academy would let me leave, but the fact they’ve given me the weekend means everything to me.
I’m scared to see her, and I have no idea what she’ll make of where I’ve spent the last year, but that has to be insignificant compared to this moment.
Darius is walking by my side. He’s quiet and I need that, I can’t even tell him how much I appreciate him, and how his words have truly helped me.
We walk down the corridor where Poppy’s room is located, and I can’t keep the smile off my face as I reach her door, and then everything stops. My heart falters and sputters to a halt, my body freezes at the sight, and my eyes widen so far, the wind would surely dry out any tears that may threaten to fall.
I can’t hear or see anything going on around me other than Poppy’s arms around Cole’s waist, and the two of them are looking at each other with utter joy on their faces. If this was a movie, there would be a heartbreaking song playing, something like Someone You Loved. But this isn’t a movie, and there isn’t a song to show how lonely and bleak everything feels right now.
I always said that Poppy was different from me. Outgoing, beautiful, and someone that garnered everyone’s attention. Of course, Cole would want her the moment she could be her true self. I should be used to being the stand in by now, but this hurts more than anything in the past.
I turn around and walk away. I guess Poppy must have spotted me because I can hear her calling my name, but I can’t stop. I haven’t even realized I’m running until Darius is gripping my arm and pulling me to a halt.
I don’t know what he expects me to say, but luck is not on my side today.
“Luna boo, baby, I can’t believe you’re here.” Mom wraps her arms around me, and I can’t help but stiffen up at the affection. Either she hasn’t noticed my reaction or she’s ignoring it, because she refuses to let me go.
“Where are you going? Have you seen your sister yet?”
I don’t know how to tell her that Poppy is one of the last people I want to see right now, but I don’t know what else I can say.
“Unfortunately, your daughter has to leave. She may not visit with her sister until a female doctor is assigned to her for the duration of our stay,” Darius says easily, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s true. Because if not, he sure is fast on his feet.
“That’s absurd, Dr. Stevenson has been on Poppy’s case since the beginning, and he’s become a good friend to the family. I’m sure Luna would love to see him,” she says as she lets go of me, and places her hands on her hips. Giving him the dreaded ‘mom stare’.
“I couldn’t care less who you consider a friend, your daughter is under contract, and I am here to ensure that she upholds her end. Therefore, no contact with a male who is not a Harkwright without their permission, and they have not given it. I will take her now and we will be back tomorrow. You can tell your other daughter whatever you wish, but you are not to mention the Academy. Although, you should be used to those rules by now.” His face is twisted and my mom pales on the spot, right before she raises her hand and moves to slap him.
A gasp fills the air instead of a slap as my hand circles my mom’s wrist, and I prevent her from striking Darius.
“Luna?” I can hear the question in her voice, but I’m not sure she’ll like my reply.
“Don’t slap him, mom. He doesn’t deserve it. He’s only doing his job, and I won’t let you lash out at anyone. I’ll be back tomorrow. At least I’ll get one day with her.” I give her a sad smile as I let go of her wrist, and Darius grips my elbow and starts leading me away.
“I’ll get rid of the doctor. Please, don’t take a single moment away from me. I need to spend time with my daughter, please.” I’ve never heard my mom beg like this before, and it’s destroying me.
“Make sure he doesn’t come back to her room until we leave,” Darius says with a sigh that I can feel down in my bones. He tried, I’m thankful for it, but I can’t leave my mom, not now.
She disappears down the corridor and she’s back within ten minutes. She looks flushed and her eyes are narrow, but she still forces a smile as she gets closer.
“Well, that was harder than I thought. Poppy wants to see you alone for a little while. If your bruiser there will allow it.” I hate the snide tone she has as she speaks about Darius, and it’s getting my hackles up.
“Mom, don’t be like that. He doesn’t deserve your animosity, and I won’t subject him to it. If I have to, I’ll leave,” I say, and both hers and Darius’ mouth have dropped open. I just shake my head and walk toward Poppy’s door.
“I can give you ten minutes,” he calls after me, and I shoot him a thumbs up before I walk into her room, and close the door.
“Poppy, I can’t believe you’re awake,” I say as I look into her hazel brown eyes, and she pats the spot beside her on the bed for me to take, but I can’t.
“It isn’t what you thought. Cole wasn’t…”
“Don’t, Pop. I don’t want to hear it right now and if you try to make me, then you’re being selfish,” I point out and her eyebrows shoot up into her hairline as she stares at me, like she’s never seen me before.
“Luna Carter is calling me selfish. I spend most of my days stuck inside my mind and you fucked off to college. How am I the selfish one?” she demands, and I rear back as though she struck me.
“I went to college to help fund your hospital bills, so our mom isn’t working herself into an early grave trying to make sure you’re well cared for.” Maybe I shouldn’t be shouting at her, but where does she get off saying that to me?