Her voice is quiet, and I still can’t look at her. But I hear her shift, lying back further into the chair. “Thank you for taking care of him today. I’m sorry it’s so late.”
“It’s no problem.”
There’s a silence now, a long stretch of quiet I wish I could say was uncomfortable, but it’s not.
“I didn’t intend to be gone all day, but I knew Baz needed it.” She turns, and I can feel her eyes on me. “I knew you probably needed it too.”
My throat is dry, and my voice reflects that when my head slides to the side to glance at her. “Don’t do me any favors, Viv. But yeah, it’s never a problem to spend a day with my nephew.”
She seems defeated tonight. Her fire from this morning is doused, and she looks tired. “You did me the favor today, but I knew Sebastian was in good hands. So, thank you. It’s still not easy for me to leave him.”
Why is she telling me this? I look away and up toward the sky. “He’ll always be safe with me.”
Did she forget about this morning? About the terrible things I said to her? She’s being too kind to me, and I don’t like it. I want to stew in my anger.
“I know.”
I huff and turn to look at her again. She’s still dressed for work in a black skirt and red sleeveless top. She definitely shows a lot more skin these days. “What is this?”
Her face scrunches up in confusion. “What?”
“Why are you being so nice?”
Her eyes roll. “I’ve always been nice to you.”
I beg to differ. My mind going through several times she wasn’t so nice. The day she left me at the forefront, but I don’t throw it out. “I don’t like nice, and I told you this morning I'm not here to be your friend.”
“We were friends once though.”
Jesus. She needs to go back to hating me. “I told you exactly what we were.”
“And you were wrong.” I stare at her, and she only kicks up her shoulder in indifference like she doesn’t care if I believe it or not. “I wasn’t with you because you were easy. In fact, it was the opposite, but it didn’t make me stop wanting you.”
My heart is racing from her words, and it only makes me angry, my body betraying me. “We were never together.”
She nods her head in agreement. “You’re right. We weren’t. You didn’t want that, but I did.”
I swallow, trying to wet my still parched throat that feels like sandpaper. “You didn’t know what you wanted.”
“Oh, that’s what every woman wants, Asher. A man to tell us what we want.”
I roll my eyes at her now, but I’m happy she’s at least fighting back. I wasn’t buying that defeatist attitude. “You wanted company. You wanted an orgasm. And you got all that you needed until you were bored with that and left.”
Her mouth drops open, and she stares at me, horrified. “You really do believe that, don’t you? You think that’s all you were to me?”
Fuck, I wish I was high right now. Or drunk. Fucking something. I don’t want this discussion. But I had to stay sober since I was the only one watching Baz today. Lola is staying at Hayden’s tonight. “I don’t want to talk about this. I’m over it.”
She scoffs loudly and sits up to face me, her ankles crossed, and her legs tucked back elegantly. “You aren’t over it. You’re angry.”
I sit up too, leaning in toward her “Of course I'm angry. You didn’t even give me a chance.”
She tilts her head to the side, thinking that over. “What are you talking about? I did. I wanted to try. You didn’t. And then we went back to being friends, and you lost your shit when I went out with Sawyer.”
“My so-called best friend.”
“And what exactly did he do wrong, huh? Why was it so wrong for us to go out on a date?” She gestures with her arms out wide and then points her finger at me. “If you and I were never anything more than just fuck buddies, then why did you get so angry?”
“Because you don’t fucking do that, Viv.”
“Do what? You’re telling me that you and Sawyer never slept with the same woman before?”
She knows we have, or she wouldn’t be so confident. “How often do you and Sawyer talk about me? Jesus.”
This is all too much. I stand up and strip my shirt off, leaving me in my swim trunks and Viv stands too. “We both care about you, so you naturally come up.”
I lean in close to her, way too fucking close because her scent is still intoxicating. “And is that with your clothes on or off?”
She looks irritated, but then shrugs her shoulders. “Both.”
A growl bubbles up in my throat. “I don’t ever want to be part of your foreplay.”
Her eyes roll again. “He didn’t want to lose you, and of course, we talked about where we went wrong. He wanted to talk to you before we went out on the first date.”
Yeah, he told me the same bullshit. “Well, he didn’t.”
“Because I told him you had no claim over me. And you didn’t.” This time, she’s the aggressor, and she leans in close, her lips a mere inch from mine. “Because you didn’t want that claim, and you told us both over and over that you didn’t.”
“So, he’s fine with being the consolation prize.”
“Oh, you’re no prize.” She pulls back, folding her arms over her chest. “Believe me.”
“So then, why are you trying so fucking hard to be my friend?”
She surprises me when she uncrosses her arms, placing one hand on my chest. My flesh sizzles from her touch as her eyes meet mine. “Because you were my friend, and I can’t stand you hating me.”
I want to push her away, but I stand still, staring into her eyes, missing her and hating it. “I can’t be your friend. I tried that and got burned.”
“I left because I couldn’t take being near you.”
“You took Baz too. You left me behind like all the rest of them.”
I can’t take the look of pity on her face. I grab her wrist, surprising her, but I don’t hurt her. I only push her hand away and walk to the pool, jumping into the deep end, needing space.
When I pop back up, I’m hoping she’ll be gone, but I know better and see her heels first before my eyes slide up her toned legs and all her curves before my eyes meet hers. “We live together again, Asher, because you wanted to. You’re going to have to face me sometime.”
I brush the water off my face with one hand. “Not tonight.”
She nods her head slowly, taking a deep breath. “Thank you for watching Baz today.”
“Anytime.”
I sink back under the water, and my thoughts go back to never resurfacing.
But I’d never do that to Baz. He’s my reason to keep going, and I want to be better.
But I have no idea how to do that.
It’s only been a few days since I tried to talk to Asher by the pool. My conversation with Penelope made me want to try, at the very least, to be his friend. But he made it pretty clear he doesn’t want that.
Baz is spending the night with Nora tonight, and Lola is staying with Hayden. I guess I didn’t want to be alone in the house with Asher, or maybe I don’t trust myself, so I sent a text to Sawyer.