“It doesn’t.” She holds her chin high, elegant, stubborn and beautiful. “Explain it to me.”
“I didn’t want her to know who I was until I was sure she wasn’t a fucking bitch like our mother. I needed to know first. I just did.” I take her hand in mine, and she doesn’t pull away as I lift it to place it over my heart. “I thought I would work with her, ask her subtle questions and see what kind of person she was. But then you guys threw a curveball at me. I didn’t see you coming, Lola.”
I swallow as I look down into her eyes, the lump in my throat not disappearing as her eyes meet mine. “You lied to me.”
“I didn’t know you.”
She pushes me away, angry again. “You should have told me when you started to know me, Hayden. After I handed you my virginity and then gave you my body over and over. You’re a coward.”
“You don’t know me, Lola. No one has ever called me a coward in my life.”
She pokes my chest with her finger. “I. Am. Because you are. You didn’t tell me the truth. I gave you something . . .”
“Something you said was no big deal.”
“Well, of course it was.” Fuck, I can’t win with her.
I scrub my hand over my face, tired from the day and fucking worn-out from this infuriating, intoxicating woman. “You know what? I can’t do this. I don’t date or mess around for long because of this very fucking thing.”
I spin on one foot, sick of this. Knowing I'm doing what I do best and bailing, but also knowing it’s for the best. I take off for the backyard, going through the gate and groan when I hear her behind me, slamming it shut behind her. I turn to look at her.
“Lola, go home.”
“I thought you said to ask you anything. I’m here.” She points to her chest. “I’m willing to scream it out with you, but you don’t get to run. You’ve always gone for easy and convenient in the past? Fine. I’m not that, but you don’t really want that. I know you want to try with me. Something is different about us.”
There’s that word again. She makes me want to rip out all my hair as I approach her. “You’re not going to forgive me. I’m a liar. I fucking lied, and that’s all you see.”
“Yeah. You are. And yes, you did.”
“So, what's the point? You’re just going to leave.”
“First of all, it takes a lot to make me leave. A lot.” Stubborn fucking woman. “Admit it, you’re a coward.”
I groan as I place both my hands over my face, internally screaming as I drag them down over my neck, gripping the back of it and looking at her. “Fine. I’m a fucking coward. I liked what we had. I had no fucking clue what it was or what it meant, but I liked it.” I drop my arms and walk closer to her, letting one hand wrap around her waist and tug her body to mine. “I liked fucking you every single time we were near each other.” My mouth dips to her ear. “I loved hearing you scream my name.”
I feel her shudder against me. “So, you lied to me so you could keep doing that.”
“I didn’t tell you I’m related to Penelope. Everything else I told you was true.”
“She’s my best friend, which you knew because I told you that. And she’s pissed, by the way.”
My eyes snap to hers. “You told her?”
“Yes.” She doesn’t hesitate. “I was angry. And I don’t want to lie to her.”
Shit, Penelope knows I'm her brother. “I was going to tell you both.”
“When? On our wedding day? Huh? Maybe wait for the inevitable divorce before dropping that bomb? Maybe your deathbed?”
Fuck, she turns me on. I can’t even pretend to hate her witty attitude. I grasp her face in both of my hands. “Who the fuck says I'll ever make you my wife?”
Her lips turn up in a sexy smirk. “I didn’t see you coming either. You came out of nowhere, but the instant attraction was like nothing I've ever felt. Ever. I was a virgin because no one ever made me feel even a quarter of what just talking to you makes me feel.”
“I didn’t expect to fall for you so fucking fast.” Or at all. “I didn’t want to believe it. It still seems surreal.”
Her face is still in my hands, tilted up. “And yet? It’s real, I’m afraid.”
Now’s my turn to smirk. “You’re a real pain in the ass.”
“You should have told me. I didn’t tell you about being a virgin, so you get a pass up until then, but after that, you should have told me.”
“I know.” I can feel my dick growing hard between our bodies just from the close contact with her. My hand smooths over her hip and untucks her blouse from her skirt, sliding under it to feel her smooth skin. “Forgive me.”
Her hands slide under the back of my t-shirt, her nails raking over my back. “Earn it.”
I smile as I pull her face to mine, meeting her lips and kissing her with passion and all my regrets, begging for forgiveness. Hoping for redemption. My other hand grips her ass, pulling her even closer to me.
She moans into my mouth as my erection presses between her legs. “You’re an asshole.”
I smile into another kiss at her breathless words as her back rests against my wrought iron gate. “I am.”
“And a coward.”
I growl at that word, my lips moving from her mouth to her neck and then dragging my teeth over the sensitive skin there. “I’m not a fucking coward.”
Her hands dip into my sweats. I'm not wearing any underwear tonight and her nails dig into my ass cheeks, pulling me against her. “You were with me.”
“So, you made me a pussy?”
She tilts her head to the side, allowing me better access as I suck the sweet flesh of her neck and then move to her collar bone, pulling down the strap of her shirt over her shoulder, baring it for me. “Yes.”
I push the other strap down and lick her protruding collarbone. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have. I wanted to. I tried today.” My hand slides over her thigh and up her skirt between her legs, finding her bare for me. She’s started going sans panties, and I fucking love it.
She nods her head knowingly. “I know.”
“Are you wet for me, Lola?”
Her head rests against the sturdy metal of the gate. “Find out, Hayden. Don’t be afraid.”
I would laugh if I wasn’t so fucking turned-on. My finger slides through her very wet folds as she moans. She pushes my sweats down, freeing my cock as I hike her skirt up. “You terrify me, Lola.”
Her eyes meet mine with sincerity, which I never expected to see in a rich bitch’s eyes, but that’s not Lola. She may have come from wealth and privilege, and she may be strong as hell, but she’s anything but a bitch.
She nips on my bottom lip as her hands slide through my hair, and I hoist her up, letting her legs wrap around me. “Don’t ever lie to me again.”
I push inside of her with one sure thrust. Her body accepts me instantly as our foreheads rest against each other. I’m not gentle with her. She doesn’t want it that way, her teeth scraping over the stubble across my jaw. She clenches around me with each movement. We wordlessly speak to each other. Our fears. Our frustrations. Our anger.