“Well, I think you need to just keep screwing each other’s brains out,” Darcy said.
I felt like I was a cartoon who had the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. Except mine were two friends, and one was telling me to talk while the other was telling me to have sex. The image of my two friends sitting on my shoulders, whispering, Talk, and, Have sex, in my ears made me laugh.
That was a hell of a lot better than feeling sorry for myself.
We finished lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon shopping. I had dinner at Marie’s house, and she offered to let me stay the night, but I had an eight a.m. appointment, so I opted to drive home.
When I got back to Brook Creek, I parked Pete’s car behind his building and dropped off the keys. I walked down to my place, so lost in thought that I almost didn’t see Maddox step out of the shadows and approach me.
I knew Marie was right on some level, but Maddox and I weren’t a couple. We weren’t falling in love again, and we weren’t going to. I had a feeling there was just too much standing in our way even if we wanted to.
I held out my hand. He slipped his in mine, and I led him up the stairs.
For now, our bodies could do the talking. It was good enough for me.
Sixteen
Maddox
I brushed Addison’s brown hair off her neck as she lay, sleeping on my arm.
“Oh, Addy, what am I going to do with you?”
She smiled in her sleep, as if she’d heard me.
After my brother had gotten over his embarrassment last evening, he’d lectured me about messing with Addison Graham. He’d reminded me that nothing good could come from it.
I’d just ignored him and gone back to what I’d been working on before Addison interrupted me. But, inside, I was worried that part of him was right.
That was why I could never fall for her again.
I remembered giving myself the same speech about never having sex with her again the night I had come to town. But sex and love were two different things.
And she was the best goddamn fuck I’d ever had.
I didn’t understand it. Out of all the women I’d been with over the years—and I’d been with a lot—she was still at the top of the list.
Addison snuggled closer to me, and I closed my eyes for a minute and let myself enjoy being next to her.
But, when I felt sleep tugging me down, I quickly opened my eyes. If I were here in the morning, it would give her the wrong idea.
I gently rolled Addison off my arm, careful not to wake her, and pulled myself from her body. My wet dick protested leaving the warmth of her heat and smacked me on the stomach in retaliation.
Fucking prick. Pun intended.
I slowly got out of bed, and as I got dressed, I watched the first and only girl I’d ever loved sleep.
If things had gone the way we’d planned, I wouldn’t have to be sneaking out of her room. We’d be lying in the bed we shared together. Maybe a kid or two would be sleeping down the hall from us.
Fucking life was a bitch.
I really shouldn’t be thinking about that now.
It made me want to wake Addison and shake her for leaving me hanging when I had gone down for the robbery and murder. And, at the same time, I wanted to fall to my knees and beg for an answer as to why she hadn’t been there for me. I had needed her.
Idiot.
I needed to get out of there ASAP. I’d worked hard on not being bitter, and I wasn’t going to start now.
As I left Addison’s and went next door to my own place, I focused on how lucky I was. Sure, I’d lost Addison, but I’d gained a lot. I’d worked at a job I loved for years. I might have gotten a scholarship for football to go to college, but I had known I was never good enough to go pro. I would have ended up working in some office job that I would have hated. Instead, I had gotten paid to work out, spend time with friends, and blow shit up. My life could have turned out a lot worse.
I grabbed a beer from the fridge. Then, I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed Flash.
“Miss me already?” he answered.
Of course I did, but I couldn’t say that out loud. “Fuck no.”
Flash laughed. “Same here, buddy.”
“I didn’t wake you, did I?”
Flash was an hour later than me, and he had to work tomorrow.
“No. I was just watching TV. How’s it going there?”
“Okay.”
“Have you seen her yet?”
“Addison?” I swiped my hand down my face. “Yeah.”
“Did you ask the bitch why she’d left you hanging all those years ago?”
I winced at his term for Addison. “Dude, don’t call her that, okay? And, no, the topic hasn’t come up.”
The other end of the line was silent.
I pulled my phone away and looked at it to make sure my call hadn’t dropped. I put it back to my ear. “Flash?”
“Fuck me.”
“What?”
“You fucked her, didn’t you?”
I sighed.
“Goddamn it. I’m right.” I heard movement on the other side of the call. “What are you thinking? She doesn’t care about anyone but herself.”
“I didn’t propose to the woman. I just had sex with her. I have had sex before and not professed my love.”
“Yeah, to girls who just wanted to screw you for your uniform. This Addison…she’s trouble.”
I had to laugh at the trouble term. He sounded like a parent who didn’t want their child hanging out with the kid with the bad reputation. “Okay, Mom.”
“Fuck you, dude.”
“Anything exciting happen since I left?” I asked, changing the subject.
“There’s talk that we might be heading out soon.”
I closed my eyes and imagined that I would be going with. When we were on a mission, there was no time to think about anything but the objective. I wouldn’t have time to think about Addison, this stupid town, or all the looks I had gotten on Saturday night for coming back when no one wanted me here but my family.
“Do you know where yet?”
“Nah, nobody’s said, so it’s probably just a training exercise.”
“I wish I were going with.”
“Regretting retirement? You’ve been there only a couple of days.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“You’re going to go help your brother at his garage tomorrow, right?”
“Yeah. I was over there today for a few hours already.”
“That should help.”
“I hope so. This town sucks.”
Flash laughed. “You need to let them know that they have one of the best petty officers the Navy has ever spit out there. You’re better than they give you credit for.” Flash cleared his throat. We never got too emotional with each other, so it was always uncomfortable. “Your mom was glad to see you though, right?”
I smiled. “Yes, she was.”
“That’s good. Say, when I get some leave, I was thinking I should come visit.”
“Wouldn’t you rather go and visit your family?”
“Nah. My parents are coming next month.”
I wanted Flash to come here more than anything. “Well, if you’re bored, you’re always welcome to come visit.”