“Try.”
Straightening up, I made another attempt at finding the right words. “We may not have talked much over the years but seeing you at the summits was always a highlight to me. I thought about you often. And I always feared that one year you wouldn’t show up to the summit – you know, like Sophie and Oscar.”
Belle curled a thick lock of her hair around her finger with glazed eyes. “I can relate.”
“How?”
“I used to worry that they wouldn’t let me go. Or that you wouldn’t be there. The others in my delegation were always nicer to me when you were around.”
“That’s because I was on their case for treating you poorly. My point is that you were different than the other Europeans. I’ve never heard you boast or put anybody down. I always found it sad how little it took to make you happy. All I had to do was carry your bag or help you in some small manner and then you would reward me with one of your megawatt smiles that brightened my day. I can’t tell you how good it felt to see you light up when I entered a room. On the first day of every summit, I’d notice if you cut your hair and look for scars to make sure nothing had happened to you since I last saw you.” Words were rambling out of me in a rush. “Remember that year in the Motherlands when Freya came to find you after you had walked away from your delegation?”
“Yes. Celeste and the others told me my opinions didn’t matter because I wasn’t an academic. I walked outside to get some fresh air and calm myself.”
“I saw you leave and told Freya to check up on you. I was always keeping an eye out for you, Belle. Maybe I didn’t put into words how special you were to me, but my feelings were always there.”
“Why didn’t you come and talk to me yourself that day?”
I shrugged again. “Because Freya was your friend and I never know what to say when women are upset.”
“You didn’t lack for words that same night when you told Victor and the others that they were being a bunch of asses for treating me with disrespect. As I remember it, you threatened to shove something up their rectums if they didn’t show me some kindness.”
“I don’t remember that part, but I trust you. Confrontations like that are easy for me. It’s the emotionally charged moments that are hard.”
Belle smiled. “Mason, a confrontation is an emotionally charged moment.”
“Hmm. I’m good with anger but a young girl’s sadness is a monster. I have no weapons to slay a beast like that. When my sister Dina was little, I used to distract her by tickling her, but you weren’t family, so I couldn’t touch you like that. I guess I didn’t approach you myself, because I was sure I’d say the wrong thing and you’d start to cry…”
“A hug would have done it, I think.”
My shoulders felt like they weighed a thousand pounds.
“What’s wrong?”
I fixed my gaze on the entertainment center in my room. “People call me the Beast. Did you know that?”
“Yes. Because of your speed and strength, right?”
“Uh-huh. But it’s all worth shit to be superior when my obstacles can’t be fought with any of my skills. I wish I knew a way to get my sister and friend back, and more than anything I wish you felt the same way about me as I do about you.”
She was quiet until I locked eyes with her.
“I do like you, Mason.”
“Then why won’t you marry me? When we were in Europe, I saw your sketchbook. Do you realize that you have more drawings of me than anyone else? I’ve seen you draw and study me so many times. It always made me feel as if I was important to you. Until that avalanche, I just figured that you saw me as a big brother.
Again, we were quiet for a moment before Belle said, “I didn’t.”
“Huh?”
“I didn’t see you as a big brother, Mason. Banni is like a brother to me, but you were always something else. My first year in the Northlands, Freya and Aubri lent me some books to bring home with me. I was fourteen and some of the books inspired… ehh.” She rubbed her throat, which was reddening.
“Go on,” I encouraged her.
“They inspired new and strange sensations.”
“Such as?”
“Such as lust and longing.”
I looked deep into her eyes silently begging her to continue.
“For some reason, the hero in every book I read always had your face.”
A rush of hope and excitement made me squeeze her hand. “Belle, be honest. Did you ever… fantasize about me?”
She kept rubbing her throat and clearing it as if talking was an effort.
“Did you?” I repeated.
She nodded.
“Yeah?”
“Many times.”
Her admission released a swarm of butterflies in my stomach. “So did I,” I breathed. “A million times.”
We smiled at each other.
“Belle.” Raising her hand, I kissed her knuckles. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Yes.” She blinked her gorgeous eyes like she was scared of missing a single word of my secret.
“You asked why I’m twenty-seven and haven’t married yet. What I didn’t tell you is that there have been women who people thought would be a perfect fit for me. I’ve met with potential brides, but each time I knew instantly that I couldn’t marry them. It’s been hard for me to explain to my family why. Especially when I couldn’t point to any obvious flaws. But if I’m honest with myself, I think the problem was that I always wanted someone like you, and that’s hard to find in the Northlands.”
Belle smiled and lifted her hand to caress my face. “Maybe we have more in common than we thought. My friends never understood my aversion to sex, but no one caught my interest. How could they when I compared them to you?”
My face split into a smile and by instinct I picked her up and placed her on my lap. “Tell me again how you fantasized about me and rejected other men.”
“Mason, stop.” She chuckled when I buried my head against her neck and marked her with a solid kiss.
“You’ll leave a mark.”
“That’s the point. I’m claiming you as mine.” I kept kissing her and moved us from the bench to my bed. “There’s no need for us to stay apart any longer. We both want this.”
Belle didn’t protest. Her fingers splayed over my bare chest and it turned me on to see her lick her lips.
“I want you in my bed, Belle. Not just tonight, but forever.”
When she opened her mouth to speak, I covered it for a second. “And I want my fucking ten out of ten as your lover.”
She removed my hand and smiled at me. “Then you’d better blow my mind.”
Leaning my forehead against hers, I whispered. “I will, but you need to guide me. Tell me what you like and don’t like.”
“I like it when you kiss me and when you’re inside me.”
Licking her throat, I moved up to whisper in her ear. “Sounds like we have a lot in common. Those happen to be two of my favorite things in the world as well.”
CHAPTER 29
Better Times