‘Lexie,’ Ronan’s voice interrupts my thoughts. ‘I’ve fallen in love with you and I have no idea how I’m going to handle this, because it’s a first for me.’
‘Bye, Auntie Lexie.’ Maisie disappears as she hands the phone back to Shellie. But then I see her blowing an exaggerated kiss to me in the background and I blow one back.
‘How I miss my little angel.’ I sigh.
‘Well, you’re probably better off out of it at the moment, Lexie,’ Shellie admits. ‘With everything that’s going on here we’re all a little on edge, if I’m honest.’
‘Gosh, that’s not like you to sound so defeatist. Are you feeling okay?’
‘Yes. My jelly belly is growing by the day and judging by the shape of me I think it might be a… boy.’ She turned to check that Maisie was out of earshot before saying the final word. ‘Boys are not the favourite choice right now,’ she continues in a soft whisper. ‘No, this is about Jake, really.’
I’ve been so caught up with what’s happening here that it’s easy to switch off and forget about the problems back in the UK. Especially now Mia is within a day or two of being able to leave hospital and Elliot is talking about flying back in about two weeks’ time.
‘Oh.’
‘Mum has summoned us all to a family meal on Wednesday evening, so that Jake can meet Maisie for the first time. I’m fuming about it. I have to go along with it for Mum’s sake, but this is all wrong. I swear if Jake fell out of a plane he’d land on his feet and walk away without breaking a sweat.’
Shellie is annoyed and I fully understand that.
Jake created a lot of havoc and family discord. After he sacked me, Shellie was the one who helped me keep it all together. She was my crutch at a time when my pride was in tatters; she refused to let me hide myself away and forced me to plaster on a smile. Because of her insistence, I quickly realised that one apparent failure didn’t mean every door was shut to me. And I took the first job offer that came my way, albeit because I had no choice. But there was no time to wallow in self-pity.
It was only a few days later that Jake left for the States, with seemingly nothing rattling his conscience over the mess he was leaving behind.
It’s only natural that Mum is going to welcome her only son back into the nest. I understand that and it’s a maternal thing. But to try to force it on Shellie, well, that’s not fair. If I were there would she be roping me into her little celebratory ‘welcome home’ dinner for him, ignoring the real damage he did?
‘Just get through it as best you can and if you can’t say anything nice, say nothing. Even if Mum doesn’t rethink her decision, it doesn’t mean you’re obliged to have anything to do with him. In future, you could simply pick her up and take her out for the day. You sure as hell don’t have to socialise with him if you don’t want to.’
I can feel her sense of frustration. She doesn’t want to hurt Mum, but, in all honesty, I don’t think I could go and sit round a table with him as things stand. So, I know exactly how she’s feeling.
‘Of course, Maisie is excited to meet her uncle and I have to be so careful not to influence her unfairly. Oh, this is a nightmare, Lexie, and I so wish you were here. How am I going to get through the next seven weeks until you come home?’
My stomach does a little somersault. Shellie has no idea what’s happening at my end. I can’t simply blurt out the fact that Ronan has grabbed my heart in a very real way, and that on Saturday Ronan and I are spending time with his mother and her new husband, as a couple. She’ll think I’ve lost my mind.
A warm glow makes me close my eyes for a brief second, realising that something deep inside me is saying Ronan is the one. Is this really how it happens, just like that? Quite how we’d make it work, I have no idea at all. But now is not the time to share this with Shellie and add to her worries. I feel bad that she can’t just sit back and enjoy her pregnancy, but is dealing with the fallout of our latest family crisis.
‘You can’t tie yourself up in knots over it, Shellie. Plaster on a smile and be polite. Jake will, no doubt, commandeer the conversation anyway. You need to tell Drew how anxious you are about it all. He’ll think of an excuse to make a quick exit if things start to get out of hand.’
She makes a sound that comes out like a disparaging snort.
‘What is most upsetting is that Mum is so set on everyone “making up”, as she refers to it, as if we’d had some sort of childish squabble. If she sits at the table looking at Jake with adoring motherly eyes I will walk out, I swear. He did wrong and maybe we were wrong, too, for protecting her from the real impact of his actions.’
Shellie might well be right. If Mum had known how devastating and humiliating it was to have been sacked by my own brother, who’d announced quite publicly that I’d failed to meet expectations, it would have added to her misery. He’d already told her that he was being transferred to the States and she was mourning his loss even before he stepped on that plane. We skated over the hard facts and she thinks I left my job over a disagreement. And I don’t want to be the one who shatters her illusions about who Jake is beneath the charming exterior.
‘Stay strong, lovely. Think of you and the baby and focus on not getting stressed. Life has ticked over nicely without him in our lives, so just smile brightly and the least said, the better. And if you need to offload to someone afterwards, no matter how late it is, then just call.’
‘I might take you up on that offer. If you pick up the phone to the sound of someone screaming their head off, you’ll know it’s me.’
Part II
April 2018
18
The Feminine Touch
After a very successful day filming, Ronan and I are buzzing. We end up going back to his place and before we know it the big clean-up is in progress. With less than seventy-two hours until his mum arrives, I can tell he’s excited but also quite nervous.
‘I didn’t realise just how dusty the place is,’ he admits as he stretches to hit a cobweb. It’s rather stubbornly resisting the long-handled feather duster and it’s hard not to laugh at his flailing attempts to snag it.
‘Well, in fairness it’s a big house and I’m surprised you don’t have someone helping you out.’
‘Never thought about that. I don’t make a lot of mess, anyway. I like things to be orderly.’
Scanning around, I will agree that he’s right, but it’s rather bare. I glance at him and see he’s watching me.
‘Okay. What am I doing wrong? It isn’t just the dust, is it?’
His eyes are smiling, so I know it’s a genuine question and he’s looking for my input here.
‘It needs softening,’ I reply diplomatically. ‘A few ornaments, maybe. We can get some fresh flowers on the day, too, as a nice welcome. It’s going to be a big deal for your mother when she walks through that door.’
‘Well, there’s a whole load of stuff I boxed up and put in the attic when I renovated the place. Would you take a look around and maybe we can make it feel more lived-in?’