‘Tell me, honestly, what you thought about the conversation last night. Was I wrong?’
He expels a cursory ‘hmm’ and then pauses for a second. ‘Honestly? I’m an only child, Lexie, and it’s hard for me to imagine what it’s like to have one sibling, let alone two. From what you’ve told me, it’s obvious you are very close to Shellie. You two are very different, though, but it’s abundantly clear that Maisie has enriched your life and brought you even closer together. That’s wonderful.’
Ronan stares down into the coffee mug, nestled between his hands.
‘But your relationship with Jake is more complex, as there are some qualities you share which seem to rub you both up the wrong way. The age gap between you both is bigger, so his relationship with Shellie will be completely different anyway. And, as the youngest of three, you were the baby of the family growing up. You’re a strong person, Lexie, and I can imagine that was probably a cause of some frustration for you at times. And Jake is undoubtedly an over-achiever. But you do have similar personality traits whether you like that or not. It’s just that you have a totally different approach to life.’
I can see he’s trying to be both diplomatic and fair.
‘You think this is about sibling rivalry? That I’m jealous of him?’ The words sound stark in the gloom of the early-morning light.
‘No. That’s too simplistic and it isn’t true. You simply strive to achieve your full potential; I believe that Jake is more aggressive in his approach and he definitely measures success in a different way. Clearly, that seems to be changing a little now he’s a family man, if I understood him correctly.’
‘That’s a kind way of saying my brother is materialistic,’ I point out.
‘You asked for the truth. I think that what hurt you most was the fact that you felt he sold you out. But after hearing what he said, I think he genuinely believed he’d made the right decision. It was a bad situation, but it could have had an even more negative impact on you. He made his decision based upon the facts as they were presented to him. You can’t blame him for what he didn’t know, can you?’
There’s something about an injection of strong caffeine on an empty stomach. It’s sobering.
‘So, you’d have reacted in the same way?’
‘No, because I’m a very different person from him. As a researcher, I tend to over-analyse everything, but it’s not always easy for me to keep my emotions out of it. Jake keeps business strictly separate and that’s a trait found in many entrepreneurs. I think that you’re convinced he took the easy way out for fear of upsetting his own boss and losing his precious new appointment.’
My chest suddenly feels heavy. I guess Ronan is right. I felt used and betrayed by my own flesh and blood, so what was the point of speaking up? My brother was lost to me and that hurt more than the gossip, if I’m being honest with myself. It felt as if he didn’t need any of us.
Ronan turns to look at me in the gloom and I nod my head in reluctant agreement.
‘He’ll always be the man he is, but I believe he has genuine regrets for some of the things that happened in the past. And I’m sure you do, too. But people mellow with age and experience; it’s never too late to change, Lexie, and you have to allow him that prerogative.’
Draining my mug, I put it down on the bedside table, then snuggle into Ronan’s shoulder.
‘I never wanted to be my brother, but I did want him to be proud of me. I guess that, after my father died, it was only Jake who really understood how hard I worked to get where I was; I suppose in offering me a job he was acknowledging that. Oh, what a waste of… all those years, when I could have – should have – reached out to him.’
‘Hey.’ Ronan shifts position, wrapping his arm around my shoulders to snuggle me even closer. ‘He wasn’t ready, and neither were you. Lessons have been learnt, but it takes a while for old wounds to heal. All I’m saying is that I believe the process began last night. Why not simply take it from there, and see what happens?’
‘I love you,’ I say, a little tearfully. ‘I love that you understand me even when I’m feeling confused and not thinking straight. You’ve made me see that it’s time to admit I made some mistakes, too.’
He tilts my chin to look at me directly. ‘I just want you to be happy going forward and I know that making up with Jake is a part of that. He didn’t mean to hurt you, Lexie. Love has the capacity to heal everything and forgiveness will set you free.’
26
Life Is Good, What Can Possibly Go Wrong?
Over breakfast at the cottage, Jake shows us several folders full of photos that Brooke put together for him on his iPad. It is rather touching. It captures their journey together up to the present day. From two people who were tentatively getting to know each other, to photos of the proud parents running after two boisterous toddlers.
I realise that the person staring back at me from those pictures is a very different Jake from the one who had originally flown off to the States. He smiles a lot more and, even before the boys arrived, Brooke certainly made sure his life wasn’t all about work. Just seeing him casually dressed in T-shirt and jeans, being a tourist, is a shock.
Jake admits that he spent much of his time pre-Brooke in limousines, hotels and conference rooms, rather than exploring the wonders of the USA. They met by chance and went on to have a wonderful year of discovery together, before Brooke found out she was pregnant. They were thrilled and the wedding was simply a formality because the panic was on to prepare themselves mentally and physically for the arrival of the twins. And he admits that he was scared. He tells me that for the first time he felt his life had meaning but he thinks he was being taught a valuable lesson. Success isn’t measured by the amount of money you have in the bank, or your job title.
When we say goodbye, it is a little awkward, still. Ronan is right, we are at the very start of rebuilding our relationship and that takes time. But I’m excited now at the thought of seeing what happens when I go home, although I wish Ronan could be with me from day one. It’s becoming clear that it will probably be several weeks before he can join me and that makes everything bitter-sweet.
Shortly afterwards, Ronan heads for home, too. He has a busy week ahead of him and a little thrill courses through me as I realise that he’s doing this for us. Every loose end he ties up brings us one step closer to starting a new life together.
As I wave him off, I step out into the courtyard. The bunting and the lights are still up in the trees, but the trestle tables are gone, and the metal tables and chairs have been stacked ready for collection. The jam jars full of flowers have been neatly lined up on the wall around one of the raised flower beds and in the warm afternoon sun the perfumed notes tickle my nose.
‘Hey, stranger,’ a voice calls out from behind me. Glancing around, I see Elliot hurrying towards me.
I fling my arms round him; he lifts me up off the ground for a moment before lowering me back down.
‘I’m back. Mia is on the mend and I’m ready to work. I owe you big time, Lexie.’
‘Mia must be doing well – you’re a day early. Come on in. A lot has happened while you’ve been away. Are you thirsty, hungry?’