I shake my head to clear my thoughts. He’s sweeping aside the other issues surrounding a man who was clearly troubled on many levels. If he stopped to think this through, I’m sure he’d see that no one had any way of knowing how fragile Fabien truly was.
‘When did you find this? What were you going to do with it?’
Ronan slumps down in his chair.
‘This afternoon.’ He pauses, his head tilting back and his eyes staring upwards into nothingness. ‘I needed to know for sure, before I wrote “The End”, that I hadn’t missed anything. If I’d known that George was in contact with you, I wouldn’t have needed—’
‘To take the notebooks without telling me? And to photocopy them without my permission?’
A horrifying thought begins to worm its way into my head – did Ronan share so much of his backstory with me solely to gain my trust? Was he simply gathering as much information as he could with one aim in mind?
‘But I never left you alone with the box.’
My eyes don’t move from his and he realises I want the truth.
‘The day that Renée knocked on the door to give you the plant, after the water leak, I slipped a couple into my pocket without really thinking about it. It was easy enough to pop them back on my next visit. The box was usually on the coffee table and then I found myself taking another, and another. I didn’t have time to go through them, as by then we were filming and spending so much time together. I know it was wrong, but I had to know what really happened. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.’
Elliot shifts awkwardly in his seat, as he proceeds to put the camera back into its case.
‘But you lied from the start,’ I say bitterly.
‘This has been my life for nearly seven years, Lexie. Not just since you’ve been here. I’m a historian and I wouldn’t be very good at my job if I ignored a significant piece of information, just because it didn’t suit me. But can I ask you why you didn’t tell me George had made contact with you? I was the one who introduced you to him in the first place, so you owed me something, surely.’
My head is spinning. How can I be sure of Ronan’s motives any more? I feel that he’s trying to counteract my accusations by turning this around and questioning my part in it. Which sure as hell was nowhere near as devious as he appears to have been.
‘What exactly are you accusing me of doing, Ronan?’ I ask, trying not to sound as cross as I feel by this conversation.
‘Withholding information that is rightfully mine.’
That stops me in my tracks and my frown deepens.
‘Ronan, I was doing what I thought was in everyone’s best interest. If I’d insisted you were there, George wouldn’t have spoken to me. And I’m here, now.’
‘You did what you thought was best.’ He shakes his head, grimly. ‘As your brother did for you and look how that ended!’
‘That’s unfair and you know it,’ I yell at him.
‘Why do you get to be the judge of what I should and shouldn’t be told, Lexie?’
I look at him, shocked by the spiralling anger he’s trying so hard to suppress. And this is the man who claims he’s in love with me. I’m speechless with anger and indignation.
‘You think you can come here for a couple of months and take the lid off something that has repercussions way beyond your understanding. You knowingly kept me out of the loop on this. Is that because you’re disappointed your beloved grandma turned her back on a man she knew couldn’t live without her? For all I know, you might have been fully aware of that fact from the start, but you desperately needed confirmation that she hadn’t had an affair. Well, my grandfather wasn’t like that.’
I shake my head in disbelief at what I’m hearing. He’s blaming the Rose for the death of his grandfather and keen to let me know that Fabien never took advantage of her.
‘I realised this would upset you; it’s upset me, too. It’s a truly horrible situation, Ronan, but I had no idea what George was going to reveal. You can’t seriously blame my grandma; in her heart the choice had already been made and that was her fate. Staying wouldn’t have changed anything, because she loved someone else. She wanted to save Fabien from himself, but that would have meant living a lie. It wasn’t meant to be, Ronan, and she knew that.’
Elliot steps in.
‘Look, guys, you both need to calm down a little. Lexie went into this with no prior knowledge of what was going to happen. I can vouch for that, Ronan. I don’t want either of you to do anything you will regret. Take a little time to think this through, guys.’
Elliot’s words make me see red.
‘You don’t need to make excuses to Ronan on my behalf, Elliot. I’m not the one who has done anything wrong. He took photocopies of personal documents without my permission. He’s not the only one whose family is involved here, and he’s just levelled an accusation at my grandma, as if she was solely to blame for a terrible tragedy. I’m sorry, but I’m done here,’ I declare vehemently as I push back on my chair and stand. ‘None of this is relevant to the history of the gardens, it’s about one man fighting his own demons and a woman whose heart was torn because she knew no one could save him. If you include this in the book, then you’re obviously not the man I thought you were, Ronan.’
He jumps up out of his chair but I literally run out of the house, leaving Elliot to restrain him. Ronan hasn’t only shattered my trust in him, but also my heart.
Part III
June 2018
28
All Work, No Play
‘Today on the Morning Sunshine show it’s time to hit the shops. As summer kicks off with record temperatures, we’re looking at the latest fashion trends and zooming in on the must-have items you need to add to your wardrobe. We’ll also be talking about what not to buy, because trends aren’t always a great investment.
‘This season it’s all about the vintage look and the fifties are definitely in vogue. Colour is key and it’s a softer, prettier feel, full of the promise of summertime romance.’
My smile for the sake of the camera is as fake as the skip in my voice.
‘Sasha Regan, you’ve been touring the various shops to pick out the very best of those seasonal bargains for our lovely viewers. So, it’s over to you.’
I shuffle my notes, preparing to sum up Sasha’s report after the hand-back, when my earpiece kicks into life.
‘Nice intro, Lexie. Smooth. There’s a bit of forehead shine going on – Make-Up is on their way over.’
Another day, another dollar, as they say. Only one hour and fifty-eight minutes to go.
Jake’s offices sound impressive, but then that’s his style. Before, it would have been London, not Oxford, but it demonstrates his brand-new approach to life. He’s living in Stow-on-the-Wold; his main priority was that it had to be within an hour’s drive of the new house. Work, it seems, no longer comes first above all else. If I needed further convincing that he is a changed man, this is it.
It wasn’t until I returned home though, that I realised how close Jake’s new property is to both Shellie and me, being less than a ten-minute drive from Bourton-on-the-Water.