‘Maurice was the one who ensured what little money came our way was spent in the best manner, so he was the true hero. He did a lot with a little and without his sound rationale to keep things ticking over, the gardens would have suffered. The Rose called him the Bulldog for a reason. My concern is that Ronan mistakenly blames three people for his grandfather’s untimely death, because he’s not in possession of all the facts. The Rose, Maurice and me.’
His words make me feel sick to my stomach.
27
Coming Clean
As I drive back to the cottage, I’m tearful as I admit to Elliot that I have no idea how to broach this with Ronan. Or how totally and utterly devastated I am that he hasn’t been totally honest with me from day one. Elliot says I have two choices – one of them is to forget the interview ever took place.
‘I can’t do that,’ I admit, with great sadness in my heart. ‘Even though I need some proof before I’ll believe it myself. I’m not saying that I think George is twisting things, but it’s still only his version of what happened. How did he know what was going on between Fabien and my grandma? The trip to London was maybe too much of a coincidence to misinterpret, and I grant that it’s likely he went there for one reason only. Grandma certainly wouldn’t have wanted to have upset my granddad in any way, so a meet-up in London makes perfect sense. But I can’t help wondering if George’s version contains some major assumptions, too. Fabien might have told everyone she’d agreed to marry him, but what if that wasn’t true?’
Elliot is clearly a bit fazed by all of this and I can’t blame him. When he left, everything was very different; Ronan and I were colleagues, not lovers.
‘I need proof,’ I mutter, almost to myself. I’m distraught and I’m not sure what to do next.
Elliot’s eyes are watching me intently, but it’s taking all my resolve to focus on the road ahead and I daren’t turn to look at him.
‘Lexie, you need to tread carefully here. I had no idea what to expect going in, but this is a shock.’ He hesitates for a split second. ‘Can I ask you a rather delicate question?’
I nod.
‘You were the one who picked Ronan from the list of interpreters. Why him?’
I swallow hard.
‘Because in general conversation when I was given the list, the connection between his grandfather and Versailles was mentioned. I researched him a little and found out that his grandfather was there in the sixties. I just thought… well, maybe their paths had crossed, briefly. That’s all. It didn’t seem like a big deal. But thinking back, the woman I spoke to laboured the point and, oh, please – I hope this isn’t true. Do you think Ronan put her up to it?’
Elliot has gone very quiet. He clears his throat, ominously.
‘I might… no, I did – I mentioned it to my contact that your grandmother was at Versailles. I used it as a bit of a hook, you know, the personal angle, and I remember that now. Look, I’m sorry, Lexie, I had no idea what impact that would have.’
Tears are now coursing down my face.
‘I’m in love with Ronan, and I thought I could trust him with anything and everything. And now I find I don’t know him at all.’
We lapse into silence, trying to process what’s happened. Can any good come out of a relationship that began with a lie?
Can I forgive Ronan for what he knowingly chose to hold back?
‘Are we heading back to your place?’ Elliot asks.
‘Yes. Why?’
‘I think it would be wise to go straight to Ronan with this now. But first, pull over Lexie, because you’re in no fit state to drive.’
As we swap places, I let his words sink in. If I delay for a day, or two, I might be able to disprove some of what George said, or at least see if it’s motivated by jealousy or revenge. Maybe George was in love with my grandma, too – who knows? If I go through her notebooks there has to be a clue in there somewhere, surely? But how long will that take? What are the chances of stumbling upon the answers I’m seeking as I skim through? This is like a living nightmare and I can’t believe it’s real.
‘You’re right. There’s no point in delaying the inevitable. It is what it is but I can only hope and pray I’m wrong.’
‘I suggest we simply let Ronan watch the recording. But be prepared, because witnessing your reaction was hard for me and there’s no way of knowing what exactly Ronan knows, or whether he’s able to discredit anything George said. Just take some deep breaths and we’ll get to the bottom of this, I promise.’
‘I’m so glad you’re here, Elliot. I couldn’t face this on my own.’
‘You filmed this behind my back?’
My face drops as Ronan’s first words aren’t to dispute the content but to challenge me.
Elliot and I are sitting at the long, polished table in Ronan’s dining room and the interview with George has just come to an end.
I look up at Ronan, horrified, as he stands, striding purposefully out of the room. Elliot and I sit in silence, listening to his footsteps as he climbs the stairs and then returns a couple of minutes later with a whole sheaf of papers.
I stare in disbelief; it appears to be photocopies of pages from Grandma Viv’s notebooks.
Ronan rummages through, looking for one particular piece of paper, and waves it in front of me, before proceeding to read from it.
In desperation I had a session with a psychic medium today. She came highly recommended and, as my days here are drawing to a close, I needed someone to tell me it was the right thing to do to leave. She told me: “The lines on your hand show two loves. One will bring you lasting happiness, the other has a link to your soul you cannot deny, but the end is not a good one. The choice is yours.”
She was wrong. I have no choice in the matter. I cannot ruin the lives of two good men, when I know that one is beyond saving and given that I now fully understand that my heart has always belonged to Thomas. It always has – but how could I know that for sure, until Versailles tested me?
That doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t bleed for Fabien. A soul mate on another level, but it isn’t this earthly one. I weep tears of frustration and despair for what I cannot fix. And for what I cannot heal.
‘The Rose accepted his offer of marriage and then she changed her mind.’ He throws the photocopy down on the table, angrily. ‘Can you imagine how I felt when I found that half-written note tucked into one of the notebooks? But because I love you, I decided to let it go. We aren’t responsible for the past and yet you’re sitting here, angry with me.’
My eyes fill with tears and I’m unable to speak. Did Grandma intend to send this to someone close to her, feeling isolated and in need of some advice? But who could she ask who would understand what she was going through?
‘She knew that leaving my grandfather would break his heart,’ Ronan continues, his own voice overcome with emotion as he hands the photocopy to me. ‘He obviously tried hard to move on. But the harsh truth is that five years later even the love of my grandmother and his young daughter weren’t enough for him.’