Oliver was whining, still trying to get into the box. Tanner gently and lovingly pulled him back. “Careful, let Daddy get it,” he said to our son, pulling his pocketknife out. Watching him with our children, I just wanted to stop time, slow it down, because I couldn’t get enough of this man and our little family. A lifetime would never be enough.
“Is it for us?” Hope asked, using her hands and her voice.
Tanner sliced open the packing tape, then re-pocketed his knife, shaking his head. He lifted his hands and said, “Sorry, this one is for Mommy.”
Oliver frowned, momentarily upset that it wasn’t something for the two of them. Our son had the same naturally expressive face as my husband. And the same light hair and brilliant, green eyes. He was the spitting image of his daddy. Oliver’s sadness was short-lived. He immediately shrugged it off, dancing with ants in his pants, waiting to see what Mommy got in the mail.
“Where are his hearing aids?” Tanner asked me.
I groaned, looking at our son, realizing he’d taken them out…again. It was a constant battle with him recently. I prayed Archie didn’t get hold of them.
Oliver inherited every bit of Tanner’s DNA. Right down to his hearing loss. We knew that was a high probability. He’d tested poorly in his newborn screening. Tanner was a nervous wreck waiting for the full audiologist report to come in. We’d talked a lot about what we would do, what our options were, and we were both very torn over what the right decision would be. Turned out that Oliver was not a good candidate for cochlear implants, so the decision was taken out of our hands, and honestly, for that I was grateful. When we got the results, Tanner apologized to me profusely. As proud as my husband was of his Deaf culture, he was fearful I’d be disappointed in him for passing on the genetics.
“Tanner, he’s going to be just like you, and I couldn’t ask for anything better,” I’d told him. I’d studied long and hard to become fluent in ASL, because I knew I’d need it. Not just for my husband, but for our boy. I sensed well before the results came in what they would be. I knew it when Oliver was still in my belly. He was much different than when I was carrying Hope. He’d respond much more to touch than noise. A mom just knows.
I did a cursory glance of the living room for the lost aids and found them sitting on the ottoman. I quickly grabbed them and brought them back over, placing them in his ears. “Only Mommy and Daddy take these out, okay?” I said, putting them back in, then lifted my hands and signed to him as well. “Are they bothering you?”
Oliver shook his head no, and then wiggled away from me, much more interested in the package than his hearing aids. But it was imperative that we kept them in for his speech development and kept on top of any issues he was having with them. We’d give him very brief “listening breaks” occasionally throughout the day, and during nap time, or if we felt things were too loud or he was just plain tired. Most of the time he took them off like he’d take off his shirt and shoes, just a boy being a boy and wanting to take his clothing off. Sometimes though it could be something like a dead battery, and he could hear better without them plugging up his ears, so he’d yank them out.
Oliver could hear pretty well with them, for now. We knew that may not always be the case, like it had been for Tanner. If that happened, we’d deal with it.
Finally, with the kids help, Tanner got the bubble wrap pulled out, exposing the contents of the box.
“Ewww. Kissing books.” Hope wrinkled her nose, making a sour face. Oliver pretty much had the same expression. “Why do you have so many of the same book?”
“Mommy wrote them,” Tanner said to her with a proud grin. “And next week, she’ll be at the bookstore in town, selling and signing them.”
“That’s if I can get any to sell,” I mumbled.
And with that, my kids interest immediately faded, and they skittered back off to play.
Tanner lifted my chin, making me look him in the eye. “They will sell.”
My cheeks heated. I didn’t think he caught that. “How can you be so sure?” I was still very nervous. Years of work, countless hours of revising and editing and yeah, I’d finally written one novel. I bent down and picked a copy up, and a wave of emotions rushed over me. I was holding my own words in my hands. It was exhilarating and terrifying. Tears welled up in my eyes that my dream had finally become a reality.
I ran my fingers over the cover donning the photo of Tanner kissing the top of my head in the shadows of the snow-covered trees outside our home. We had a great photographer that was able to capture our essence without revealing our entire face. Nobody else would probably know it was us, but we knew. Silent Strength ran across the beautiful image, with the tagline based on a true story underneath the title.
“Because it’s a damn good love story. I should know. A lot of trouble went into that damn climax.” Tanner flashed a crooked grin, threw his arm around me, and kissed me on the temple.
“Which climax in the book are you talking about?” I gave him a flirty grin. “There are several in this book, you know.” I licked my top lip and gave him a wink.
He tossed his head back in laughter. God, I loved the extra wrinkles he was getting around his eyes now that he was inching toward forty. So sexy. So masculine.
Dropping the book back into the box, I turned to him and buried myself in his chest. His strong arms wrapped around me, and this was my heaven. My safe spot.
“Thank you for believing in me,” I mumbled into his chest. I made the I love you sign with my hand and squeezed it against his back, just like I did every night with the lights out in bed.
“I love you too, my troublemaker,” he whispered to me.
THE END
Dear Readers,
Thank you for reading my words and giving me a chance to tell this story.
I’ve had this story burning within me for quite some time, and I’m glad I finally was able to share it.
This book felt a bit like Inception. A story, within a story, within a story...
I’ve been where Gia has been (granted, I wasn’t married to a mobster). I lived for five years in a physically and mentally abusive relationship. Many of Gia’s stories were based on events from my own life. Even though it’s been sixteen years since that happened, it wasn’t easy to write them and re-live them. But I wanted a bit of my story told through this brave, strong, brilliant woman. No longer will I be silent.
I have two beautiful children from that first, awful marriage, and even though I walked through fire and lived with a demon of a man, I wouldn’t change a thing, because I wouldn’t have my precious kids. God blessed the broken, windy road that I traveled. I’m married now to a man much like Tanner. A man who was patient with me when I’d get scared and pulled back. A man that took those kids on as his own and has never once treated them as if they were not his own flesh and blood. He gave me two more beautiful babies. I’ve healed from all that pain. My life has truly been beauty from ashes.
If you are in an abusive relationship, please know, there is a way out. It is NOT your fault. You do NOT deserve it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is no set timeline for healing. You do it on your terms. My door is always open. And I’m here to listen, lend an ear, and you can cry on my shoulder. I will do anything in my power to help you.