“Maybe next year won’t be so bad,” I say, shrugging my shoulder a little. “I’m sure if you talk to Sloan, the two of you can figure it out.”
Perry laughs once, sitting up. “You’re acting really strange tonight.”
“No, I’m not.” I sit up too and try to appear truthful with my words.
“Okay,” he says, reaching for another cigarette. He lights it and then nods to me. “You never defend my relationship, no matter what.”
I pull my legs up and lower my eyes away from him. “I don’t like seeing you upset. Sometimes when I say things you get this look in your eye like I just stabbed you.” I look up at him and he’s staring right back at me. “I don’t want to be the one who causes you pain. I want to be the one who makes you feel better.”
He gives me a crooked smile and leans forward to kiss my forehead. “You always make me feel better, Bishop. That will never change.”
17
Skin Deep
Perry- Now
Calling off work to spend the day with Tess seemed like the right thing to do. After yesterday, I’m not sure I could focus on anything anyway. Not that I have to take my job too seriously or anything.
We agreed to meet back in the shop in an hour, so I’m currently at my house getting changed. I’m still walking around in just a pair of jeans when there’s a knock at my door. I see Sloan standing off to the side when I make my way over. She’s leaning against the railing of the porch as I open the door.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” I say, my voice clipped.
I can’t see her expression through the large sunglasses on her face, but I can imagine she rolls her eyes at me. She shoves them on top of her head with a sigh. “I called you three times last night and you didn’t answer.”
I laugh, crossing my arms. “Oh, I’m sorry. You looked so nice yesterday with your husband and all.”
This time I see her eyes roll. “We’re not married yet, Perry.”
I scoff. “Yeah, but you will be.”
Sloan remains silent, pressing her lips into a hard line. After a moment she says, “Can I come in, or are you just going to stand there glaring at me?”
“I was on my way out.”
She looks me up and down quick. “You want to put on a shirt before you leave?”
I smile, leaning in closer. “Why? You afraid someone might like what they see? A little competition for you.”
She shoves me in the chest, knocking me back a step. “Don’t be cute.”
With a sigh of my own, I walk back into the small apartment and she follows. I lean along the counter of the island in the kitchen. “So, what do you want?”
The way she keeps gauging my reaction with her eyes tells me that she’s building up to something. I have a few guesses and none of them are what I want to deal with today.
“I feel like our conversation the other day is unfinished.”
I laugh again. “Seemed finished to me. I don’t want to sneak around with you. That’s not how I want things to be.”
She lowers her eyes before looking up at me, her voice small. “That’s not how I want things to be either.”
I shake my head, raising my arms and dropping them to my sides with a huff. “Then what do you want? I’m tired of trying to figure it out. I really am.”
She shrugs, and the casual gesture makes me angry for some reason. “I want you.”
“If that were true, we wouldn’t be here right now. You wouldn’t be engaged to someone else and I wouldn’t be mentally fucking kicking myself for still wanting you.” I take a step closer to her. “I’ve said it before, but I really mean it this time. I can’t do this forever. I need something real, something solid to hold onto. Of all the years I spent loving you, I never once had a moment where I could actually breathe. I was always holding my breath waiting for the next time you were going to leave again. I refuse to live like that anymore.”
Her eyes shift from mine and I can tell there’s something else gnawing away at her. “Where were you last night? You weren’t here.”
“I was with Tess.”
“All night?”
I nod. “Yeah, I stayed with her after the memorial.”
Her eyes narrow slightly. “That’s what I thought.”
I laugh once. “Really? Are you fucking jealous of Bishop now?” I laugh again, taking a step back. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”
She crosses her arms, her features rigid. She’s actually serious. “It’s not completely irrational for me to assume something’s going on. She’s always had a thing for you.”
I laugh harder this time. “That’s a crock of shit and you know it. You just want to blame me for something because you feel guilty about cheating on Johnny.”
“Whatever,” she says, turning toward the door. Her long blonde hair flips over her shoulder as she takes determined steps away from me. I push in front of her and block her path.
“Oh, you’re leaving now? Very typical of you, Sloan. The conversation doesn’t go your way, so you bail.”
“Things were going just fine between me and you before you decided to freak out.”
I pull my hand into my chest. “They were not fine. I don’t want your body, I want this.” I press my palm over her heart and she looks away from me. When I pull my hand back, she bites her lip. “If you can’t give me that, then we don’t need to do this anymore.”
I step out of her way and she reaches for the door again. Right when I think she’s going to leave she turns back to me. “I gave you my heart when I was fifteen and you still have it. If you can’t see that, then you’re the one who has a problem.”
When she storms out of the door my mind is completely blown. I thought I was fucked up.
I get back to the shop twenty minutes later than I planned. My confrontation with Sloan had me so pissed off it took me longer than usual to get ready. I did manage to remember to stop and get Tess her favorite muffins from the bakery down the street. Regardless of my current mood, I’m determined to make this a good day for her.
She smiles at me from the back of the shop. I set the box down on the counter, next to the register, before walking back to her.
“I got the blueberry ones. I know they’re your favorite.” I give her a wink and slide into one of the empty chairs.
“Thank you,” she says, glancing up briefly from the various shades of ink she has laid out on her tray.”
My eyebrows pull in. “I thought you didn’t have any appointments today.”
“I don’t.”
“Okay,” I say, pushing up in my seat. “What exactly do you have planned?”
She smiles. “You’re going to do me.”
My male brain takes that to a place she probably didn’t mean. I smirk at her. “Well shit, Bishop. If that was your plan you should have told me last night.”
She slaps my arm and I laugh. “No, you perv. I want you to finish my tattoo.”
“That’s crazy. I haven’t touched a gun in over three years.”