I cup my hand over his mouth. “Perry, stop.” His eyes narrow slightly and I remove my hand. “You can’t rationalize every bad thing that happened to us and make it your fault. There’s a million moments where we could have made different choices that could have affected the way things turned out.”
He arches an eyebrow in challenge. “Name one.”
I chew on the tip of my thumbnail. All of the choices that come to mind involve things I don’t want to bring up right now. “This is stupid,” I say in frustration, turning to lay on my other side.
He laughs. “See, I’m right again.”
“You’re not right, Perry. I’m just not arguing with you. You must be pretty self-involved if you honestly believe you control fate.”
It goes silent in the room for the longest time, I hear him breathing and sighing randomly, so I know he’s not sleeping.
“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be a bitch.”
The mattress shifts and I feel his arm come around my waist. He kisses the side of my head. “You’re not a bitch.”
The warmth of his body pressed against me calms my throbbing heart. It’s been so long since I’ve be near someone in this way I was afraid I would never know what it felt like again.
“I just have one question,” I ask.
“Hmm, what’s that?” he says, his voice tired.
“What makes you think I would have let you kiss me?”
He laughs and his lips brush my throat. “You wouldn’t have?”
I smile. “I guess you’ll never know.”
The next morning, I get out of bed like I just had a one-night stand. I pull on a pair of sweatpants and practically run to the kitchen to make coffee. I didn’t schedule any appointments today so I basically have nothing to do but sit around and feel sorry for myself. In hindsight, I should have just worked.
Perry strolls around the corner squinting one eye open. “What fucking time is it? It’s still dark outside.”
I glance at the clock above the microwave. “A little after six.”
He walks over to the table and slumps down in one of the chairs. “You always get up at the ass crack of dawn?”
I laugh. “I guess so. I always have a lot of things to do before I open the shop.”
He yawns. “And what time is that?”
“I’m not open today.”
His eyes open wider. “Then let’s go back to bed.”
My stomach clenches. That’s not a sentence I ever expected to come out of Perry’s mouth in regards to me.
“I can’t sleep.”
Perry groans and runs his hand down his face. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Was I snoring?”
I suppress a grin. “Just a little.”
He stands up and walks over to the cabinet to grab a cup. “I can’t help it. Sloan used to complain all the time.” He looks over at me and laughs. “You’re a lot nicer than her though. She used to kick me so hard in the side I think she bruised some organs.”
I smile back, but it’s forced. The mention of Sloan right now pisses me off for some reason.
He leans back against the counter after pouring a cup and nods to me. “So, free day off. What do you want to do with it?”
I raise an eyebrow. “Don’t you have work?”
He grabs his throat and lets out a pathetic cough. “I think I’m coming down with something. Maybe I should call in sick?”
I shove him in the shoulder and he grins at me. “Your dad’s so gonna fire you.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he says with a wink.
I cross my arms. “Okay, if you want to play sick today I have an idea.”
“Should I be scared?”
I smile for real this time. “No, it’ll be fun.”
15
The Cliffs
Perry- Then
After a long cold winter, when the weather’s nice again, there’s only one thing to do on the weekends—go to the cliffs. I’m not sure how the tradition started, or even how it got its name, but there’s a dirt road right off the highway that leads up to Dean’s rock. I also have no idea who Dean is or how he got a rock named after him, but now everyone just scribbles their own name on it when they’re wasted.
It’s the perfect place for underage drinking. The road leading up to the cliffs is approximately four miles, and the clearing at the top is surrounded by large pine trees that obscure our smoky bonfires from view. Plenty of time to get the heads-up and run from the cops. Not that we have or anything.
On this particular Saturday, I’m looking for a fight. Sloan and I have been officially broken up for three weeks. We’re rapidly approaching our record of twenty-seven days—but who’s counting? The difference this time is she’s hell bent on shoving her new boyfriend in my face. To be honest, it’s kind of unavoidable. Johnny Tate, although not a close friend, runs in the same circle as us. Sometimes we have separate parties, but at the end of the night, everyone usually ends up in one spot. Tonight happens to be ours.
What’s worse is she always chooses him to piss me off when we break up. He must enjoy the misery too because he keeps letting her do this shit. I, for one, am tired of it.
I’m sitting on the back of Walker’s tailgate when the dust from Johnny’s Navigator blazing up the road swirls in the air. Jeremy grabs my arm from beside me when I start to lunge forward.
“Don’t do it. She wants you to get mad.”
I clench my fist. “I am fucking mad.”
He grins and tilts his beer to me. “See, it’s working.”
I run my hand over my jaw and stare at his vehicle as it comes to stop. “What is she trying to prove anyway? I mean, she went out with him before and it didn’t last. This obviously is a bullshit relationship.”
“What? Like yours,” Jeremy teases.
I glare at him and jump to the ground. My irritation threatens to explode inside of me and I turn around and point to his chest. “Fuck you.”
He holds his hands up with a laugh. “Hey, I’m not the bad guy here.” He nods to Sloan sauntering over to the kegs. “It’s over there, in that tight little sweater.” He bites his knuckle. “Damn! I get it, dude. I would let her make me suffer too.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I mutter, walking away from him. Tess and Walker are huddled close together over by a cluster of trees. I don’t want to interrupt them if they’re having some kind of moment, but I also don’t want to talk to Jeremy right now when he thinks he’s fucking funny. Thankfully, Tess sees me and waves me over. Walker smiles.
She eyes me with concern. “You okay?”
I laugh bitterly. “I’m great. Sloan’s a fucking whore, but other than that, everything’s fucking great.”
Walker scoffs. “Come on, you’re just mad at her. You don’t mean that.”
I glance over my shoulder and see her clinging to his side. My jaw ticks. “Right now, I do.”
Walker punches me in the arm. “Hey, you’re a single guy. Take advantage of it.” He hovers his hands over Tess’s ears and whispers to her, “Earmuffs, babe.” She rolls her eyes when he pushes his hands down so she can’t listen and leans into me. “There’s a shit ton of hot girls at this party just dying to get with you.”