"Not as huge as his fucking ego." I snapped. "Listen to the words. It's all you need to be with me. Give up. Blah, blah, blah. There is no emotion in this song like 'you complete me' or 'you're my person', or 'you're my lobster'." I stood up.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going back downstairs. I'm not letting him know he's getting to me anymore. I'm going to go down there and enjoy myself. Why should I not eat dessert?"
"Is there actually any left? You threw quite a lot of it."
"Meh. It's Cath. She'll have enough for the whole pack in the fridges and freezers."
I grabbed hold of my bestie's hand. "Come on. Thank you so much for having my back, but it's fine, truly. I'm okay. Oh actually," I sat back down. "Can I just listen to that song again a few more times?"
Thirty minutes later we returned. I'd changed my top into one I'd bought from Wish that said Fuck off, Fuck you etc. Then I remembered there were kids present, so I put a lightweight hoodie over the top. I knew I was wearing it. It gave me an inner strength and satisfaction.
The band were jamming on stage, and Tanya told me they were playing requests after asking me if I was okay.
"I'm fine." I turned to the stage so as to let her know they were my final words on the matter.
"This next song is one we play on tour. The Rolling Stones' I Can't Get No (Satisfaction). Roman, my friend, this one's for you, pal." Zak pointed at the lead guitarist.
Roman gave him the finger.
Rex launched into the song and changed satisfaction to satrysfaction. Rex dropped a drumstick and Noah burst out laughing.
"All of you can do one." Roman started a guitar solo, drowning out his bandmates and showing us his exemplary skills.
When he'd finished, we gave him a thunderous round of applause and Tanya literally wolf-whistled.
Roman took to the microphone. "I just thought I'd remind my bandmates that I'm actually very, very skilled with my fingers and with my instrument." He did a solo fanfare on the guitar which had Tanya howling with laughter. A laughter howl was truly disconcerting.
"What a hoot. Shame we can't find him a mate too." She said.
"He has an admirer. Do you know Harley Davis off the TV?" I asked her.
"Seriously? Harley likes Roman? Oh my god, they would have the cutest children. We need to get them together."
"She's in America, but Stacey says she's going to try to matchmake a bit when she's back."
Tanya clapped. "Oh, I'm so pleased. You must keep me abreast of all the gossip on that one."
I nodded, pleased she was distracted by someone else's love life.
The band sang more songs and I relaxed listening to familiar sounds I'd heard on the tour. The kids were at the front dancing, shaking their butts and making each other giggle. I had a few more glasses of wine until I felt buzzed and mellow. Finally, I was enjoying myself again. I’d forget what tomorrow would bring and enjoy the rest of the evening before, I guessed, I arranged to have my things packed once more while I phoned my mum.
I watched as Rex was fitted with a microphone around his face. He cleared his throat. "The next one is a new one I've been working on."
Oh God no. Tell me it wasn't his 'bang hard on his chest, you need to be mine' song.
But as the music started up and he began to sing, it fucking was. That was it, the straw that broke the camel's back. I didn't know if wolves ate camels but I was taking to the stage myself, even though I couldn't really sing. I'd had wine. We all thought we were Madonna after alcohol.
I snatched Roman's microphone off his stand, glaring at him. Noah stopped playing and Rex stopped drumming.
Zak looked at Rex.
"Carry on with your backing vocals." Rex ordered him. He said to everyone watching. "This is called No Escape."
You're in my periphery
The edge of my proximity
There's no escape
It's in your fate
My intended mate.
Holding a hand up, I told Zak to stop a moment. "I have my own verse." I informed everyone. I was no Zak Jones, but I didn't give a fuck. In fact, sod it. I pulled off my hoodie and turned to Rex so he could see my t-shirt. I pointed to the 'Fuck You' bit in particular. I'd aced English at school, and alongside my inner sarcastic bitch, it meant I could put together insults faster than the speed of light. I started to sing.
I was in your vicinity
You didn't want a bar of me
Like put out trash
Or a STD rash
So you're too late.
Rex lifted his chin at me as if to say, 'bring it'. Looked like the wolf didn't want to lose face and run off with its tail between its legs. He carried on.
You say it's my vanity
I'm at the edge of insanity
You can make me wait
Can pretend to hate
My fated mate.
Fucking arsehole. I had another verse.
It really is your vanity
That thinks you can now have at, at me
You can fuck off, mate
That's your fate
Because you're too late.
The bastard smirked. Smirked! Then sang.
Give in
Give up
Surrender to my charms
Live here
Love me up
Crawl into my arms.
Like hell, I snarled, and I gave him the last of what I'd managed to make up in my head between seeing the video and hearing the song a few times, and standing making up tunes in my head while they played their set.
Give up
Give in
You aren't gonna win
Fuck the bond
I'm moving on
I'm not falling for your charms.
I threw the microphone at him. He dashed from his seat and ran around to me. Dickhead was still miked up so when he spoke everyone heard.
"You called me mate!" He beamed.
"Are you on drugs? I did not."
"You did. You said 'fuck off mate'."
Damn and blast. "I didn't mean mate like your wolf crap. I meant mate as in pal. It's a colloquialism."
"You called me, mate. It means you're at least my girlfriend now. Look it up."
"You're cheating and I will look it up, you can be sure of that, but it makes no difference. I'm out of here."
I turned to stomp off the stage. Rex tried to get hold of me, but his father had jumped up onto the stage and grabbed him, this time by the arm. "Let her go, son. This isn't how we do things."
Erica approached me, but I shook my head at her. "I'm sorry. They'll know you showed me the song. I hope I don't get you in bother with Zak and the rest of them."
"I don't give a shit about that. I care about you, Freya. If you need me. I'm here. I'll be just a minute down the hall from you."
Not thirty-seven seconds away then, I thought, and then I left, and this time I wasn't coming out of my room until I'd packed.
There had been a couple of holdalls in my boxed belongings and I filled those with everything I needed for a week or so at my parents' house. Then I began to box up anything else I’d taken out, so that it could be easily sent onwards—once I knew where onwards was. I couldn't stay at my parents' house for long. They'd drive me insane. I needed a new rental, and maybe a new identity so the Psycho Subs couldn't find me.