The dowager’s eyes widened in surprise. “You’re with child? But how?”
“I remarried in Scotland. It was a bit of a misunderstanding, to be honest. I certainly hadn’t planned to marry again, ever. However, it turned out to be a great blessing. He is a wonderfully kind man. And now we’re having a child.”
“A child you’ll never see grown.” The older woman frowned and looked out the window.
Mari would have thought she looked wistful if the crabby woman were capable of such an emotion. Or any emotion at all, save annoyance and bitterness.
“I understand you’re angry with me. I can’t imagine the hatred I would feel for someone who hurt my child, and I haven’t even met my babe yet. But I am to stay here until I deliver and have been tried. If you do not wish to share the house with me, perhaps you could retire to the country estate.”
“Richard, the new duke of Endsmere, was recently married so he can do his duty to produce an heir, and he is installed there. I’ll not invade their privacy at this time.”
The woman had always been cold. She’d not once come to visit here at Blackley House, no matter how many times Mari had extended the invitation.
“In case you’re hinting that I didn’t do my duty to procure an heir, it is clear I am capable of conceiving.” She wouldn’t go into the details and tell his mother how her son had hated his wife so much he could barely look at her, let alone lie with her.
“I do not hint. If I have something to say, I will say it straight out.”
That was what Mari was afraid of. “As will I.”
“I suppose the gaol was not suitable for someone of your station and condition.” This was muttered into the dowager’s tea. “They were unable to find another place for you?” she asked more directly.
Mari had never felt welcome here. It had been a living hell for her, but never had she felt so alone as at this moment. She gathered her pride and sat up straighter, donning her best fake court smile. “I’m afraid I’m not permitted to leave. We’ll just have to get on as best as we can.”
The dowager made an unhappy sound and pushed her plate away. “How unfortunate.”
…
Upon his arrival to London, Cam was directed in circles, until he finally came to stand in front of a shiny black door at a fancy town house. He dropped the elaborate brass knocker, and the door opened almost instantly.
“Good evening, sir. May I help you?” The man was quite small, despite being full grown. His look of unease at the sight of him made Cam feel slightly better.
“I’m here to see Mari.”
The man took him in from foot to forehead, then shook his head. “I’m afraid there is no one here by that name.” He began to shut the door.
Cam threw out an arm to stop him. “Wait. I meant the duchess. Marian.”
The man’s eyes took him in again, hovering at Cam’s dusty kilt. “I’m sure you can’t expect to be let in…”
“Of course not.” Cam frowned. “Will you go check with your mistress and see if she’ll allow me to enter?”
The fact the man hadn’t said she was dead gave Cam a feeling of hope he hadn’t felt since he’d arrived home from his false errand with the McCurdy.
“Do you have a card?” the man asked.
“I’m afraid I do not. You’ll just have to tell her my name.”
“Which is?” The man’s nose went into the air.
“Cameron MacKinlay. War chief of Clan MacKinlay. Her Grace’s husband.”
The man swallowed before closing the door, which remained firmly shut for a few minutes. Cam was about to reach for the bloody knocker again when the door whipped open and Mari launched herself into his arms.
It was like that day in the field, except now he knew how precious she was. As on that day, she clung to him as if the hounds of hell were yapping and snapping at her bare feet. But instead of fear, she cried and showered Cam with kisses.
He set her down so he could look at her and wipe the tears from her eyes, and he nearly collapsed in relief right there on the front step.
“Please, Your Grace,” the skinny butler urged. “Come inside so the door can be closed. We wouldn’t want the neighbors to witness your reunion.”
Mari laughed and allowed the man to pull them inside and close the door.
“You’re alive,” Cam whispered, and kissed her again. A medley of feelings rushed through him. He’d been numb since he’d heard the news of her surrender, but suddenly he was able to feel again.
At least for now.
…
As much as Mari had not wanted Cam to be there when she turned herself in, she was grateful for his presence now. She had gained a reprieve until she gave birth, and she could think of no one she’d rather spend her gift of time with. She had missed him so much.
“We must speak. In private,” he said when he released her from the kiss. He eyed the butler, who was attempting not to stare at them and failing.
Mari knew what would happen when they were alone. Cam’s happiness to find her alive simmered with an undercurrent of anger. He was very angry with her for leaving him. Maybe it was the house and the horrible memories that lurked in nearly every room, but she shivered as she nodded and led him to the parlor and closed the door.
Lucy’s eyes went wide when she and Cam entered. “Should I stay, Your Grace?” the maid asked.
“No. That isn’t necessary. Please excuse us. I’ll make introductions later.”
When Lucy was gone, Mari turned to Cam with her best smile. “You must be famished. Let me order a tray of food.”
“I’m near starved, but I don’t want food this minute. As I said, we need to talk.”
Mari nodded and let her gaze drift to the floor.
“Look at me,” he ordered. “I thought to find ye dead. The least you can do is look me in the eye for the hell you put me through.”
She met his gaze to see his whisky-colored eyes shimmering with tears. It was enough to bring her own as she reached for him.
Instead of allowing her to touch him or take her in his arms again, he held her wrists, keeping her apart from him. “Why? Why would you have made a plan that dinna include me?”
“You know why.”
He shook his head. “I know you made a decision that destroyed me without telling me. Do I mean that little to you, wife? Do ye not care at all that my heart nearly shattered into pieces so small I never thought to gather enough to make it work again?”