Although…wouldn’t Jake have taken that option if it were available before now? She questioned herself.
Okay, maybe.
His lips and tongue were working their way down her spine. It was late – so very late – and they were up on the party deck where no one could see them, making love under the stars. Oh it felt so very decadent! His breath was so hot on her skin, his hands were doing wicked, wicked things to her body and it didn’t matter how exhausted she was, she was unwilling to do or say anything to break this spell.
When he rolled her over onto her back, he was surrounded by the night sky which was full of stars. There was a full moon and just enough light to see the intensity on his face.
The face of the man she loved.
He was it for her. Her forever.
Reaching up, she raked her fingers up into his hair and guided him down for a kiss. How it was possible for this kiss to be just as hot, just as consuming as their first one hours ago, she didn’t know. But it was. When they broke apart, she looked up at him. “I love you,” she said softly, as he filled her. She chanted it over and over in rhythm with his movements. He never said it back and she was okay with it. At least, that’s what she kept telling herself. Although, if she were honest, she wished he’d say it once. Just once and she’d be happy.
In her entire life, she never knew love could be like this – that sex could be like this. Every inch of her body ached for him. It didn’t matter how close they were right now because she wanted more. Her arms were around him. Her legs were around him. It would be hard to tell where one ended and the other began.
And still she wanted more.
As if sensing her thoughts, Jake’s movements became harder, more deliberate. They moved together at an almost frantic pace until they were both too breathless, too spent to move. And when he collapsed on top of her and she hugged him tightly, she could have sworn she heard him whisper “I love you.”
Things were different after that.
And not really for the better.
It didn’t matter that they saw each other every day or how they spent their nights together. There was something bothering Jake and she didn’t want to push him to tell her what it was, but it’s exactly what she felt like she needed to do. She was trying to respect him – knew he wasn’t the kind of person who liked to overly talk about his feelings – but it bothered her how he didn’t trust her enough to do so.
July was coming to an end and Mallory stood out on the deck of Pops’ massive home and stared out at the sound. As peaceful as the view was, it was in complete contrast to everything she was currently feeling. The clock was ticking on her time here and as much as she wanted to kick, scream, and cry for it to stop, it wouldn’t.
It couldn’t.
As if by silent agreement, she and Jake didn’t talk about it. All conversation about the day when she’d be leaving to go back to New York had stopped. That was probably more her doing than his because she was in denial that it was really going to happen. Sometimes when she was in bed at night all by herself, she thought about asking Jake to change schools and come with her. Hell, she’d even gone so far as to research universities for him that were close to hers. Then she realized how selfish it was, especially considering she would be graduating before him. Maybe at that point she could move closer to him, but it was still two years away.
In other scenarios, she considered quoting Taylor Swift and asking Jake to simply remember her staring at the sunset…while they went their separate ways since the reality was that it would be easier all the way around.
Tears silently streamed down her cheeks and she let out a shuddery sigh. It was late, but not overly so. She and Jake had gone to dinner and played a round of putt-putt before going for ice cream, but both had seemed okay with calling it an early night. So here she was, alone and emotional, and unsure of what to do with herself.
Her phone ringing in the distance seemed like an answer to a prayer.
Seeing her brother’s name, she smiled as she swiped at the screen. “Hey! This is a surprise!” She sat on her bed and got comfortable. Mallory didn’t realize how much she missed her late-night talks with Sam until just this moment.
“You doing okay?” he asked, softly, considerately. “I just had a sudden urge to call you.”
Her tears were back and her voice was a bit wobbly. “You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice.”
His laughter sounded even better. “I’m not gonna argue with that, but I could make a snarky comment about how everything about me makes the masses feel better.”
And just like that, she felt her spirits lighten. “I can’t believe you knew I needed to talk to someone. We haven’t had that happen in a while.”
“Well, maybe if you weren’t so wrapped up in your love life, you would have noticed that I was in need of a call a time or two.”
Gasping, she sat upright. “What? Seriously? Are you okay? Oh, gosh,” she groaned, “I’m the worst, right?”
He laughed again. “Calm down, Mal. I was just teasing. I’m fine. But really, I had this overwhelming sense that I had to call you at...damn, it’s after eleven. What’s going on?”
“Are you home right now?”
“Probably something else we could examine. At another time,” he added. “We’re talking about you.”
Mallory didn’t even think, she just blurted out everything that was on her mind, barely taking a breath. She told him about how things were going with Jake, how much she loved being here with Pops and with their family, her doubts about going back to school, and her fears about what all of this meant for her relationship with Jake.
“Damn,” he murmured when she finally finished. “That’s a lot, Mal.”
“I know.”
He let out a long breath. “Okay, let’s look at this point by point.”
“Point by what?”
Ignoring her question, he simply started addressing some of her concerns. “You know you always get nostalgic when you’re at Pops’ house. You love it there. You’ve always loved it there. You enjoy being close to Peyton and Parker and everyone but once you’re back home or back at school, you’re fine.”
He did have a point…
“It’s just that now you’re all wrapped up in…Jake,” he added with a hint of disgust, “so you’re seeing things through rose-colored glasses.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, Mal. You are. Trust me.”
She snorted with disbelief. “You were only around us for like…a day, Sam. You don’t know everything.”
“I think you’re forgetting something very important here.”
“And what’s that?”
“You and I? We’re like…one. I know you better than anyone and vice-versa, so don’t go there with me. Right now, you’re all wrapped up in Jake and everything’s perfect because you’re seeing each other every day. And – I might add – it’s only like that because you guys are on borrowed time. If you lived there full-time with no worries about out-of-state schools, things would be different.”
“I disagree.”
“No,” he corrected. “I think you totally agree but you’re just trying to be difficult.”